Daybreak
by GhostWriterGertrude
Summary: Bella has been without a mate for centuries, content to live with her family and enjoy the company of her human friends. That is, until Edward Masen moves to Forks. Edward and his sister have lived a hard life with a dark past, but from the moment Bella saw him, she knew she was his, and he was hers. Bella and Edward must navigate their own path to love while facing their pasts.
1. First Sight

**This is just a little angsty something for Halloweentime :)**

 **Angel from Montgomery by Bonnie Rait**

 **I Burn For You by Sting**

The rain pounded on my skin as I darted through the thick foliage. I could see Rose's golden hair whip behind her as she darted in front of me, throwing a smile my way as she overtook me. Emmett was lumbering behind us still, his steps heavy and deliberate. Carlisle and awake were even further behind us, content to hold hands and watch us race in the rain.

Rose was laughing, standing at the edge of the cliff and dancing like a goddess of joy. I stopped short and allowed Emmett to pass my by, race forgotten, as he scooped her into his arms. They embraced in the downpour, laughing and spinning like children. Esme and Carlisle danced out of the forest and out onto the cliff, smiling at their silly children.

I stayed in the trees, shielded from the rain. Esme and Carlisle quickly broke off and headed back to the house, practically skipping past me. The smiles on Emmett's face melted off as he stared at Rose, and I turned away quickly, before anything could develop.

I spent the rest of my evening in a meadow outside of Forks, staring into the gorgeously clear night sky. It had cleared up so quickly, and would obviously be sunny during school, meaning we would have an extended weekend. But at night, when I could see the whole universe in the sky, all my other thoughts were erased.

So much so I didn't even notice Rose approach in the early hours of the morning. Her hair was rumpled, and her jeans had grass stains on them, but she still looked absolutely perfect. She had never met Elezear so I couldn't be sure, but I suspected she had a gift that just manifested itself physically, same as Emmett. Emmett was stronger than any vampire I had ever met, and Rose more beautiful. Truly a perfect match.

She collapsed on the grass next to me and reached out her hand to grasp mine, anchoring me to the grass so I wouldn't float away.

If it were possible, I would have drifted off to sleep right then and there. The rising sun was warming my cold skin like I was a lizard resting on a warm rock, and Rose's steady breaths mixed with the sounds of an awakening forest was better than any music. The stars disappeared, replaced with a bright blue sky and shy, fluffy clouds drifting past us quickly.

We just watched the sun move and enjoyed each other's presence for the entire time the sun was in the sky. Emmett had appeared at the edge of the meadow, but he disappeared with a smile after only a moment.

Once the sun dipped below the tree line, we both got up. Rose hugged me tightly, placing her chin on my head, before she took off to find Emmett.

I made my way into town, running through the forest that lined the streets. Sometimes, I craved human contact the way Carlisle did. We were both more sociable than most vampire, and I shared control around them that rivalled Carlisle's. I rarely experienced thirst so extreme it was uncomfortable, unless I myself hadn't fed in quite some time.

I had figured the diner would be empty on a Tuesday night, but I could see a group of kids in huddled in two booths. I shook leaves off of my jacket and emerged from the trees, making sure that no one saw where I came from. Angela waved me over when she noticed me walk through the door.

I scooted in next to her in the booth, careful to keep my skin covered. Lauren and Jessica were deep in conversation about shoes for prom. They didn't even seem to notice I had joined them until the waitress came by and took my order- black coffee, extra hot. Jessica leaned toward the middle of the table and squeezed her arms together, drawing the stares of Mike and Tyler at the next booth over.

"Have you heard about the new students, Bella?" She asked, leading into a new line of gossip. Angela shrunk into the booth next to me, always one to be uncomfortable with Jessica and Lauren's favourite conversational topic. Lauren drilled her acrylic nails on the sticky booth, impatient to add her piece to whatever Jessica was about to say. I shook my head, even though I knew Jessica wasn't really asking a question.

"Well, they're foster kids, Alice and Edward Masen. They're living with Chief Swan-"

"And they're _weird_." Lauren interjected meanly. She thought everyone was weird, me included.

"How so?" I questioned. Forks hadn't had new students since my family came to town, and I knew how hard it is for us to fit in, much less humans who don't typically move so often. I vowed internally to befriend these Masen children.

"Well, Alice came to school wearing butterfly wings and these strange high socks, for one. She even skipped down the hall."

"She's cute, though," Eric threw in from the next table.

"Yeah, but she shot Mike down like there was no tomorrow!" Tyler laughed, causing Mike's blood to rush to his ears. I swallowed some venom automatically, not even particularly noticing a slight burn in my throat. Jessica looked a little upset at the fact that Mike had been asking out anyone but her since he had given up pursuing me at the beginning of the summer.

"Yeah she said she was 'waiting for someone'," Lauren threw up air quotes.

"And that guy is straaaange," Jessica said, "even stranger than your family, Bella." I decided to take the comment as a joke, but I noticed kind Angela narrowing her eyes at Jess.

I nodded as an indication for Jessica to continue when her eyes widened, realising what she had said. They were all still slightly uncomfortable around me, a natural response to my natural inner predator, even though people tended to be more comfortable around me than even Carlisle.

"He's a little gross, and he was so mean! He was all quiet and rude and angry!"

"Well, they're foster kids," Angela broke her silence, "you don't know what they've been through!" Angela spoke my thoughts.

"Even still, it doesn't make him any less gross." Lauren ended the conversation just like that, switching to talking about some fashion line with Jessica.

Everyone left the diner soon after, leaving me in the parking lot waiting for a "ride", shooing Mike Newton away when he wanted to wait with me, as if crime was running rampant in Forks. I decided to go home for the evening to shower, thinking of these new students that were staying with the chief.

The night was spent reading and listening to loud music on my iPod in an attempt to tune out the nighttime activities of my family. Alone, once again.

I never really minded school, but I was kind of looking forward to going and meeting Alice and Edward Masen. I felt like Jessica and Lauren, I wanted to know more about them. I knew how difficult it could be, moving around, not having a real family, going to a new school, and I honestly sympathised with them. If I could make them more comfortable in Forks by even a little, I would have done right by this existence.

Rose and Emmett stormed downstairs late when morning finally rolled around, Rose insisting on driving. Gone was her jovial mood of the weekend, Rose turned back into the ice queen, hardening herself to prepare for school, and Emmett followed suit as much as Emmett could.

I had wanted to be at school early, wanted to catch the Masens before they went to class. Instead, Rose pealed into the parking lot just in time for us to make it to homeroom, the tires on her BMW leaving tracks on the wet pavement as she rolled into the spot in front that no one dare park in.

Luckily, I saw Alice Masen heading into my first period class. I rushed to get in right behind her and sit next to her, English being the only class without assigned seating. She wasn't wearing the butterfly wings Jessica had mentioned, but she was wearing mismatched knee-high socks over her leggings, an odd combination, but it kind of suited her. And she was adorable. She wore her hair in a cute pixie style, her eyes were gorgeously green and lined with charcoal, and she was so short and small I wanted to tuck her in my pocket and keep her safe.

When I slipped into a seat next to her in the back of the room, she turned to me and gave me a bright smile. I was taken aback, no one warmed up to me quite so quickly.

"Hello, Bella!" Her voice was like a little bell, and she seemed genuinely happy to be talking to me.

"Hi, Alice, right? How do you know me?"

She just waved her hand in the air, dismissing my question.

"No matter. Now tell me, do you know any tall, blonde cowboys?"

"Ummm, no?" Maybe she was a little odd. I didn't find it off-putting like everyone else seemed to, at least Alice Masen was interesting.

Class started before we could talk any more, but Alice ended walking me to class, and pulled a promise out of me that I would sit with her at lunch. The way she phrased the question: 'sit with me at lunch?' rather than 'eat lunch with me?' was also a little odd. I pushed the thought from my head. Like a complete stranger who had been in town for a few days and had only known me for an hour could possibly know anything.

I was actually looking forward to lunch, perhaps the hardest hour of the day for all of us. Hundreds of students, all excited and blood rushing, crammed into one room full of gross food. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but Alice Masen was intriguing, and I figured that her brother would also be interesting.

Rose and Emmett decided to head into the parking lot for 'an afternoon snack' when I told them I wouldn't be sitting with them. I picked a table in the back of the cafeteria, and Alice entered and found me with no problem, pulling a sandwich out of a brown bag from her backpack. I had grabbed a banana when I walked in, and made a point to peel it and fake eating it. Alice gave me a weird look.

"Oh, I wonder where Edward is!" She broke the silence to look about the cafeteria. I noticed Jessica and the table glaring over at me, clearly upset that I was sitting with the weird new kids. It was then that a new boy walked into the cafeteria.

It was like the room had gone silent, even though I could still see mouths moving. He was tall, thin and pale, with soft, lightly pockmarked skin, a devastatingly angry expression, and the same brilliant emerald eyes as Alice.

Logically, I knew it was Edward Masen, but I still gasped, "Who is _that_!" He pulled at his long, coppery hair as his eyes scanned the room. Alice jumped onto the seat and waved her hands excitedly at him.

"That's my brother, Edward," Alice smiled knowingly. His expression softened and he unclenched his jaw when he noticed Alice, but the anger returned when he saw me sitting at the same table. He shuffled his feet and made his way over to us reluctantly. He dropped his bag carelessly and sat almost violently next to Alice, across from me.

He pulled out a sandwich identical to Alice's and begun eating, pulling his shoulders together and slumping towards the table. Alice scrunched her nose at him, but turned and smiled at me again. I couldn't pull my eyes away from him.

"Bella, this is my moody brother, Edward," she introduced. He blushed, adding some beautiful colour to his already gorgeous face. He nodded in my direction, but kept his bright eyes cast downwards.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Edward," his name sounded right, natural, on my tongue, tasting better than even the blood of a bobcat.

He blushed darker and mumbled something inaudible to even me. I swallowed the venom that pooled in my mouth from the blood that was so close to the surface of his gorgeous skin. I felt Alice kick him from under the table, and he drew his eyes up to meet mine.

It was then that my universe realigned. I breathed in. It was more than just noticing a beautiful boy, I had met my mate. It wasn't hard to accept, I had been alone for so long I was bound to stumble across him eventually. He seemed as captured by my gaze as I was by him, and I tell that he felt some kind of connection to me.

"Y-y-you too," he stuttered out, his voice deep and rich like a dark velvet. Alice was looking between the two of us, smiling and glowing like she had just accomplished something wonderful, which I suppose she did. She willingly befriended me, and that allowed me access to her beautiful brother, my mate.

And we sat like that for the remainder of the lunch period, Edward and I looking at each other and Alice smiling while munching away at her food. I was clutching my legs tightly, nails digging into the skin. It was painful to resist jumping over the table and taking him right then and there, especially with that blush. The bell seemed to shock Edward out of his stupor and he grabbed his bag and marched out of the room, leaving his uneaten sandwich sitting on the table and Alice and I staring after him.

"He's just, ummm, really excited to get to his biology class," Alice giggled.

"Really? I have that class, too! I'm going to catch up with them, see you later, Alice!" I exclaimed. Thank you, universe! I threw my bag over my shoulder and picked up his sandwich carefully. He was thinner than most other human boys of his age, I figured it would be wise for him to at least eat his lunch. Not only that, but I could tell that both Masen siblings were lacking iron in their blood. Perhaps I would have to begin packing a lunch of oatmeal or green vegetables…

I walked through the crowded hall like I was on a cloud until Jessica hooked her arm through mine. She flinched at the contact, likely able to feel my cold skin under my sweater, but it didn't deter her comments.

"Bella, what are you _doing_?" Her voice went all shrill like it always did when she was upset. I wasn't even angry, I was just in a hurry to get to biology and see my Edward. I knew we would be sitting together; I had not been assigned a lab partner this year.

"I'm welcoming some new students, the way you welcomed me, Jess."

"Bella, they're strange. Alice, okay, I understand, she could be cool. But her brother, too?" I felt some primal growling erupt from my chest, inaudible to the human ear. I surprised even myself, and I saw Emmett's and Rose's heads whip towards me from up ahead.

"It's all good," I whispered at them. Rose was still staring at me, her mouth pulled into a tight line. I could almost hear her thoughts: _Don't you dare slip, Bella. I don't want to move._

"He's disgusting. He looks like he hasn't washed his hair in two months, he looks like he has an eating disorder, and his acne is almost as bad as Eric's!" I felt the growl in my chest again, angry that anyone would dare speak against my mate. This didn't happen in our world; vampires knew better than to insult another's mate while in her presence. I thought of reaching out to snap her neck, the primal need to avenge my mate bubbling up. I had never murdered, and I didn't plan on starting, but she had to know that behavior like that was _not_ acceptable.

"Well, excuse me, Jessica," I ripped my arm from hers before I stormed off, "but I happen to think he's incredibly charming."

The venom was pooling dangerously in my mouth, and I knew my eyes had turned black with anger by the time I had entered the bio room. Edward was already there, slumping in the seat next mine and flipping through his ratty bio textbook. I could feel happiness bubbling up the moment I saw him; he was just too perfect not to feel euphoric when I saw him. My mood was swinging rapidly.

I skipped to sit next to him and turned immediately to face him head on. We hadn't spoken at lunch at all, and the sandwich gave me an opening. I pulled it out and slid it over to him. It looked completely unappetising to me, but I could hear his stomach grumble quietly when he looked at it.

"You really shouldn't skip lunch," I said earnestly as he picked up the sandwich. He glared at me wickedly from the corner of his verdant eyes.

"You did," he whispered. I couldn't hide the surprise from my face, most people didn't notice I didn't put any food in my mouth if I had something in front of me. It was wonderful how intelligent and observant he was, it didn't really bother me the way it would have bothered, say, Rose. He would know of my nature eventually, that much was inevitable. I clearly wouldn't be able to keep it from him long if he continued to be so observant.

"I suppose so," I agreed. I needed a new in, but Banner interrupted me before I began to ask about the weather, thankfully. He quickly assigned labwork, but it gave me just enough time to compose myself. I had only met one vampire who had mated with a human, who had resisted the mating connection, and he was the only person who had better control than I. It just wouldn't be socially acceptable to humans if I dragged Edward into the forest and mercilessly had my way with him. The mere thought of it made venom pool in my mouth, this time out of desire rather than anger. He drew back when he looked at me, noticing me staring at him intently. I swallowed and looked away, towards Banner, who was walking up the aisle to pass out the worksheets. Better not frighten my mate with black eyes and unmasked desire before we had a conversation that lasted more than a minute.

It was one worksheet per group, and it would require us meeting outside the classroom. A project! I could dance a jive I was so happy; the universe really was working in my favour.

I turned and smiled at him, passing the sheet to him. He didn't look at me again, instead scribbling on the paper. His eyes were tinged pink and his mouth was drawn up on the side. I didn't even bother looking at his answers. He was smart, he could manage 11th grade biology without my input.

Banner announced the end of class, telling us to make plans with our lab partner. I was so thankful I was near tempted to send Banner a gift basket, he was giving me a perfect excuse to spend time with Edward, to let him get to know me before I asked him out.

"So, are you available after school tomorrow, and for the weekend?" I asked, "We should have a planning session, and then work on it on the weekend." He looked over at me, his thick brows pulling together in confusion. He looked down again and shook his head, every time he pulled his gaze from mine I felt a little empty. His mouth was pulled in a tight line and his jaw was clenched again, but his cheeks were coloured with delicious blood. I pulled back when I felt the sudden urge to bite him, to mark him as my mate. When the bell rang, I jumped up and left the room quickly, my mind thinking of his blood, of the shame I felt for even thinking of it, of the human dating timeline, of Wednesday, and of seeing Edward on the weekend.

I skipped the rest of the day, opting instead to see my father. He would know exactly what to do.

I was told by the receptionist that Carlisle was with a patient, but I could wait in his office if I had the time. I wandered the halls to kill time instead, heading to his office only when I heard him leave a patient.

He was already sitting at his desk when I walked in. The office he had at the hospital was so much less personal than the one he had at home. It was filled with only medical journals and dark wood; the office of the old doctor he is.

"Bella," he stood, his face awash with worry, "are you okay? I was paged and told you were here." I collapsed on one of the hard wood chairs and sighed deeply, breathing in scent of harsh sterilisation agents mixed with sick blood- the smell of hospitals.

"Carlisle, I found him," I sighed. Now that I was here, with him, all of the conflicting emotions were rushing forth. It was the reason I came here, to Carlisle.

"Found who, Bella?" I knew Carlisle was playing dumb purposely.

"Him, Carlisle. My mate. He's in high school. Edward," I held my head in my hands.

"The Masen boy who's staying with Charlie Swan?" Carlisle's voice was even and calm. I nodded.

"That's a bit of a conundrum, but Bella," he got up and kneeled next to me, wrapping placing his hands on my shoulders, "you've found him. You've been alone for so long, and you've finally found him." I couldn't help but smile, and think of my Edward's beautiful face.

"I don't know how to resist it for the appropriate amount of time. How did you do it with Esme? I'm not even sure he likes me. What if he doesn't like me?" It was all so overwhelming, I hadn't experienced anything like this in my entire existence.

"Of course he likes you," Carlisle wrapped me in a hug, tucking my head under his chin, "He'd be stupid to not love you, and I am sure the man who is you're mate is not stupid." If I could blush, I would've. Mate. It was all so real now, with someone else saying it aloud.

"And for how I did it? How I stayed away for Esme until the time was right? It's not exactly the same situation..." he pulled me back to look in my face.

"How is it not at least similar? I have to hold back until the time is right. Most vampires just get to mate and continue their life. I mean, you waited ten years to change Esme, dammit." Carlisle leaned back and moved to sit on the chair next to me.

"Bella, you've lived with two mated couples for decades. You've been a vampire for almost five centuries. Don't you know we become whatever our mate needs? Esme didn't need a love or even a friend when she broke her leg at 16, she needed a doctor. When I found her again, she needed me. So I was there. You'll figure out what your Edward needs, and you'll become that. But Bella," he reached out to hold my hand, "I doubt you'll need to wait long."

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, a leftover human habit for when I was thinking deeply. Carlisle was probably right. Edward and I were close in physical age, and he wasn't already tied down and married. But he did have a sister he seemed very close to, and it would likely be difficult for him to leave her when it came time. We would probably have to wait until at least high school graduation as to not raise suspicions. But what about after? What if he wanted to attend college as a human? What if he never wanted to be a vampire at all?

"You're thinking too hard," Carlisle smiled. He was probably right. His pager sounded, pulling him away from me and to his responsibilities.

I ran home, taking the long way to clear my head some more. Rose and Emmett would still be at school if they hadn't ditched when they noticed I did. I would have Esme to myself. I was almost embarrassed to be going to Esme with something so intimate. Carlisle had been my companion for hundreds of years, but Esme had always been more of a mother than friend. As old as I was, as old as I felt, I was as inexperienced as a teenage girl, and I needed to talk to my mom.

Esme was sitting in the kitchen, holding a cup of warm tea and flipping through a design magazine, purposefully casual. I made myself my own cup of tea using the pot on the counter, needing something to do with my hands.

"I hear you've had an interesting day at school," Esme smiled kindly.

"Carlisle told you, then."

She nodded and continued reading an article on the unnecessary use of throw pillows, letting me come to her.

"His name is Edward, and he's absolutely wonderful," I sighed, stirring a finger in the bubbling water. It felt comfortingly hot, leaving me feeling human.

"I'm sure he is," Esme continued smiling, gesturing to the cushioned stool across from her. I poured my cup of tea and inhaled its herbal scent. It was one of the only foods both humans and vampires found pleasant.

"Esme, you have no idea," I felt all of the tension and worry from my conversation with Carlisle dissipate, replaced again with the joy of thinking of Edward. It was like I was bipolar, the mood swings were crazy. "He's gorgeous! He's got this hair that I just want to touch and these eyes, Esme his eyes! They're green and expressive and I feel like I could just fall into them. He's smart, too, I know he is. But he's also observant, too observant for his own good. He noticed I didn't eat, and I think he's noticed a few other things he hasn't mentioned." I had to take an actual breath after my gushing aside.

If Esme could have cried of joy, she would have. Her smile was so wide it stretched off of her face like a cartoon character. I had propped my head up on my hands, elbows resting on the counter, leaning towards Esme as I mooned over my mate.

"What!" I whipped my head around. Rose had run through the house into the kitchen, pulling the back door off its hinges as she ran, nostrils flared and eyes black. She must've run home from school and allowed Emmett to drive her car home. I was so focused on Edward I blocked everything else out. I had planned on letting Rose know in a gentler way.

"Rosalie, calm down," Esme sounded uncharacteristically stern, and Rose noticed the change in tone.

"A _human_ , Bella?" Rose sounded calmer, but more distraught.

"It's not like it was something I can control," I apologised. Esme stood and moved in front of me, placing her hands on her hips like a scolding mother.

"Even if you could have controlled it, I wouldn't want you to, Bella. You've been alone for far too long enough. And Rosalie Hale, you're being selfish." Rose shrinked back, completely unused to hearing anything but loving words coming from Esme's mouth.

"And as such," Esme continued, "this Edward is now a member of this family, and we will be supportive. Now I do not want to hear a single word out of your mouth on this subject unless it is completely supportive of Bella and Edward." I tried to hold in my smile when Esme said our names together, but I just couldn't contain it. It sounded so right. Rose's expression softened when she saw my smile, her ice melting. She rushed past Esme and pulled me into a hug. Esme held both of us as we sobbed into each other, likely for different reasons. Here they went again, my emotions swinging rapidly.

I heard the BMW pull into the garage, and Emmett lumbered into the house. He laughed when he saw us, breaking any remaining tension.

"Woah, check this out. My three favourite ladies," he wiggled his eyebrows, and we broke out in giggles. Emmett always knew what to say, even if he didn't know what was going on.

"No, really, what's going on?" His question just sent us further into laughter. Rose broke away and cocked her hip, dancing around Emmett.

"Oh, why I do believe Ms. Bella has met a suitor," she said in a breathy southern accent. Emmett broke out in a toothy grin and looked at me for confirmation. I nodded for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, and he lifted me out of my seat and into the air, hands on my waist. I laughed, flying around like Frances Houseman in the arms of Patrick Swayze, arms outstretched, toes pointed, a smile on my face. Esme lifted Rose into a similar pose, laughing, their previous tension clearly forgotten.

He set me down a flicked his wrist, "well, tell me everything, girl!" Rose slapped his shoulder, but we moved into the living room.

I raved about Edward and the little I knew of him for as long as I could, until Rose stopped me.

"I'm not trying to be negative," she shot a look at Esme, "but what happens next? Are you planning on changing him? It means we'll have to move, but Esme and I can take care of that, we'll look at places in Nunavut or Alaska right now if you'd like." I could tell rose was uncomfortable, one didn't have to be an empath to discern that. She didn't want to subject anyone to this life unnecessarily, she thought it a half life or punishment, no matter how much she loved Emmett or was happy with our family.

"Honestly, it's up to him. I'll wait until graduation in two years," Emmett gasped, "but after that, it will be Edward's decision. If he wants me to change him, I'll change him. If he wants to stay human for a while longer, or for the rest of his life, I'll support him." Emmett rolled his eyes, but Rose nodded along supportively. I'm sure she would be on "Team Keep Edward Human".

"Please. Like I would let him stay human. You've found him, now he's never gonna leave you," Emmett pressed his palm to his knuckle and pushed, so it would've cracked if it could. He almost looked like the menacing vampire he could be.

"Emmett, please, don't. I'm going to be whatever he needs, and that means I'm going to be supportive."

"But it's a two-way street. He needs to be what you need, and what you need is a mate to be with you for an eternity." Emmett was serious, deadly so. He didn't understand. He came into this life with his mate by his side. I had been alone for centuries. I would treasure the time I was given with Edward, no matter how short. With age, comes patience.

And that was the first night I spent in my mate's room.

 **Who makes you fly?**


	2. Invitations

**Just a warning that this story will be a little OOC and is definitely AU, even if it's not clear yet.**

 **You Know That I Know by Jack White**

 **Cello Sonata, L 135 by Claude Debussy**

I had peered into the room on the second floor first, but it was a sleeping Alice that resided in there. The room had been painted blue, and was already decorated. I looked around from the closed window and saw books of all genres strewn about on the floor. There were picture frames, some empty, some with pictures of scenery of everything from seascapes to snowy mountains. I wondered if she had taken them herself.

There were also several sketchbooks stacked on a small desk next to a giant old computer. Sleeping Alice was clutching on a small sketchbook, and it looked like she had smeared charcoal on her cheek. I wondered if she was laying on it.

The room next to Alice's housed a heavily sleeping Charlie Swan, who was snoring so loudly I had heard it from a mile away. I dropped down from the second floor with a soft noise, leaving foot prints in an empty garden area. I kicked dirt over it and walked over to another window. I heard light breathing coming from inside, and I peered in.

He was still awake! I was horrified, I felt a light grumble come from my chest. It was too late for him to still be awake, and not only that, but he looked exhausted. The bruises under his eyes were almost as dark as my own became when I was thirsty, and his eyes looked lacklustre and tired.

He wasn't doing anything, just sitting on his small bed in this cramped little room. It wasn't designed to be a bedroom for a young man, rather a small home office or a storage room. It looked to me like Edward would barely fit on the bed if he was laying down.

It felt like eternity had past before he moved. He stood, stretching his long, gorgeous limbs, and grabbed the pillow and blanket off the bed. He padded out of the room, giving me an opening to slide open the well oiled window and slip into the house to follow him.

I had assumed he would fall asleep on the large plush couch in the living room, but he moved upstairs, his steps causing squeaks in the floorboards. I watched as he opened the door to Alice's room and flirted up the stairs and into the room, stepping lightly and melting into the shadows of the night.

Alice didn't even stir as Edward dropped his pillow and blanket on the floor and carefully removed the sketchbook from her grasp. He wiped at her cheek tenderly, trying to remove the charcoal she had smudged there.

My chest hurt. He was so sweet and kind, taking care of his sister so carefully. It was almost as if he sensed me, too, he looked in my direction near the closet I was tucked into. He just shook his head and carefully deposited the sketchbook on top of the others on the desk.

His eyelids looked heavier now, his feet shuffling as he moved about the room. He crouched down and rolled onto his back on the wooden floor. I heard his back crack, and he sighed softly, resting his head on the lumpy pillow and covering as much of himself as possible with the small blanket. His eyes closed and his breathing evened out almost immediately. My Edward was so tired.

After enough time had passed for me to ensure that they were both in a deep sleep, I moved from my place in the closet. Edward looked strangely comfortable laying on the floor, his face was peaceful in his sleep and he looked so much younger. I kneeled next to him as if in prayer and studied his beautiful face.

He had this sharp jaw that was so intense one didn't usually see a feature so perfect on humans, and a straight nose that looked like it had been broken once or twice from the crookedness and bump on his maxillary bone. He had high, heroin chic cheekbones that were likely so prominent from a lack of nutrition and anemia. His silky hair was stuck up in all directions, he had clearly been pulling at it often. I reached down to touch it, but pulled my hand back before I made contact. I didn't want our first touch to be when he was unconscious.

I had been monitoring their breathing, but I stole a peak at Alice. She was smiling in her sleep, like she had a wicked little secret and was going to keep it to herself. I smiled back at her. I hadn't seen a human sleep in a very long time, I was very relaxing and peaceful. I envied their time spent away from reality, and their ability to just easily relax and drift away.

I found myself lying next to Edward on the floor, curled up next to him on my side, just staring at his profile until dawn broke. Once light began seeping into the room, I thought it best to slip away, lest I be caught in the house.

Charlie was awakening for the morning in the next room when I quietly opened the door and ran downstairs to leave through the window. I didn't leave, though. I couldn't bring myself to leave Edward after I had just spent an entire night laying by his side.

I jumped into one of the pine trees and clutched the trunk as I watched through the bedroom window. It was raining again, of course, so I would have to go home and shower again eventually before school. And I would be seeing Edward outside of school while he was awake today! I decided to wear something nicer, something more Rose's speed, I wanted to look good for the first time in my existence.

Edward and Alice were still sleeping when Charlie peeked into the room. He didn't seem at all surprised to see Edward laying on the floor- I assumed it was not the first time he had done so- but Charlie just shook his head and closed the door, making his way downstairs to brew coffee.

When Edward began stirring, moving onto his side and his heart rate picking up, I jumped off the tree and made my way home to ready myself for the day.

I carefully selected my outfit- a soft grey sweater dress I had never worn, thin black leggings, and new, shiny black boots- before I showered quickly. I even blew my hair dry and combed it out.

I met Rose and Emmett in the car, both of them returning my bright smile. Nothing could bring me down when I knew that I would see Edward quite often in one day. Rose raced to school like a professional, and we pulled into our usual parking spot earlier than we had ever been. The parking lot was pretty much empty save for the rusty cards of some teachers.

Rose was behaving uncharacteristically kind, holding my hand instead of Emmett's and sitting with me on one of the benches at the school entrance. Emmett sat at another bench closer to the parking lot, pulling out his phone and playing some video game that involved a bird, giving us space.

"Bella, I want you to know that I am supportive," Rose said quietly, inaudible to humans despite the fact that none were around, "It's hard for me to think about bringing someone else into this life, but I understand the reason why. And I'm going to help in any way I can." Rose had never been one for long conversations, the mere fact that she initiated this one was surprising, she usually instead chose to communicate through body language.

"Thank you, Rose, I really appreciate it."

"So what's the plan?" She smiled at me darkly and wiggled her eyebrows, looking like a dangerous and conspiratorial goddess.

Sometimes I hate it, her effortless perfection. She was created with plush, red lips and luminous golden hair, an homage to the style of the glamorous time period she was human during. I had been a plain human and an average vampire. I hoped I would be up to the standards of someone as perfect as Edward.

"Bella, seriously?" Rose rolled her eyes at me, obviously attuned to my thoughts. If I could have blushed, I would have. I pushed the silly, self deprecating thoughts from my head and explained my plans to get Edward alone with the excuse of our biology project.

We were giggling like school girls, heads pressed together and whispering conspiratorially about boys, when students started pulling into the parking lot. It was still early, so it was only the students being dropped off by working parents, but Rose dropped her warm smile for a bitch face, winking at me with a twinkle in her golden eyes.

I heard his heartbeat coming, next to Alice's and Charlie's, muffled by the engine of a Crown Victoria. He was slumped in the back seat of the police cruiser, looking as dejected as a criminal would in that position. The cruiser pulled up in front of us and he slinked out, shuffling his feet as he walked past us into the school, the hood on his baggy green sweater up and covering his gorgeous hair. He didn't even look at me, he just kept his eyes cast down, fixed upon the ground, and disappeared through the white double doors.

Alice was talking to Charlie in the cruiser still, explaining that both she and Edward would have plans after school and wouldn't need a ride home. She smiled brightly at him, kissed his bearded cheek softly, and skipped out. He looked bewildered, but smiled back. I think Chief Swan enjoyed taking care of someone, and having someone kind of take care of him. It was sweet.

Alice was dressed plainly for Alice in green jeans and a black sweater, but she still stood out among the blandly dressed teens of Forks. She waved good bye to Charlie and danced over to the nearest bench, the one Emmett was sitting at. He kept his eyes purposefully on his phone, but looked up at her when she perched next to him. He wasn't used to humans approaching him the way they did me. Emmett was an intimidating vampire, large and bulky and strong by even our standards.

But Alice didn't seem to mind at all. She grinned at him before pulling out a small sketchbook and pencil and sketching away. Emmett was still staring at her, mouth parted in surprise. He turned to look at us and mouthed _'oh my god_ ' at us.

Rose, too, had an expression of measured surprise written on her face. I shrugged at Emmett and smiled at him.

I had somehow become used to Alice's strangeness already, it was endearing and interesting, and she shared blood with my love, so how could I dislike her.

More students came rushing through, all of them throwing strange stares at Alice and Emmett. No one had ever dared approach my siblings, and here was this slip of a girl settled comfortably next to him. If they thought she was weird before, they definitely thought she was bizarre now.

Alice skipped off to her home room when the warning bell rang, and Emmett came over to lock hands with Rose and escort her to class.

"That was... different," I heard Emmett say, drawing a small laugh from Rose. I smiled after them, moving to get into the school and into homeroom by the next bell, before I was intercepted by two catty gossips.

"Bella, what the hell is going on!" Jessica cried shrilly, drawing stares from a few stragglers trying to get to class.

"We gave you the benefit of the doubt for one day, but seriously," Lauren said.

I yanked my arm from Jessica's manicured clutches, smoothing the silky fabric so it wouldn't wrinkle.

"I'm sorry if you were under the impression that we were best friends and my company is exclusive only to you," I said harshly, allowing some scope of my dangerous nature to leak into my tone and into my face. The adrenaline pulsed into their bloodstream, their pupils dilated, and their breathing picked up. I was triggering their autonomic nervous system. I automatically felt bad for scaring them so, but there was nothing else I could do. They stumbled away and ran into the school. I sighed and found my way to class long after the late bell rang.

Alice seemed very excited to see me in English. She had placed her bag on the seat next to her to reserve it for me, and waved enthusiastically, gesturing to the seat, the moment I walked in the door. I smiled in response, and she began her questioning.

"Where were you yesterday? I have you for Gym but you weren't there. Edward said you guys are lab partners, that's cool," her voice was like a flute prattling through Theobald Boehm. I trusted her implicitly.

"Yeah, Edward and I are lab partners. We actually have a project to work on today, and during the weekend, on local flora and fauna," I told her. She flashed that knowing smile at me and nodded, looking away to pull her sketchbook from her bag.

"Oh, I know. This weekend will be a perfect time to go hiking for the project. Nice and cloudy," she winked at me and turned to face the front of the room, pretending to listen to the lecture on 'Romeo and Juliet'. I was a little stunned. She definitely knew something, I just wasn't sure what, and she was purposefully cluing me in.

Alice hooked her arm in mine and walked me to my next class when the bell rang, promising to see me at lunch before dancing down the hall. She always seemed to leave me in a semi-stunned state.

I spend the rest of the day until lunch scanning the halls for my Edward. I caught his scent in the halls, and I could pick his heartbeat out in a sea of hundreds, but I never physically saw him, and it was driving me crazy. I had found him and I never wanted to leave his side, especially if I wouldn't be able to complete our bond for _years_.

I ran out of my fourth period class and was the first person to reach the cafeteria. I staked my claim on the same table as Tuesday's and pulled a steak sandwich with spinach out of my bag. I didn't plan on eating it, but passing it off to Edward. Esme had researched foods that would help with iron deficiency, and I wanted to have him gain some weight. He really was much too thin in comparison to these other boys.

Alice plopped down next to me and looked from the sandwich to me questioningly while pulling out her own. I watched Edward shuffle through the room out of the corner of my eye, deciding he might be slightly uncomfortable if I were to stare at him like I was a starving woman and he was my only sustenance- not exactly an inaccurate description.

He dropped next to Alice and picked at a peanut butter sandwich, bright eyes again directly avoiding my gaze. He was too cute; his ridiculously thick lashes were casting shadows on his gorgeous cheekbones. I wanted to ravage him.

He was scratching at the inside of his wrist, right hand stuffed through the left sleeve of his green sweater. I wondered what caused humans to scratch- Carlisle would know. I may be friends with them, but I really didn't know a much about their human habits.

Alice filled the silence with chatter about fashion, but not really in the way Jess and Lauren did. She was having a completely one sided discussion on the merits of producing affordable clothing in the US, then she moved on to talking about a new designer whose line featured models who looked like the everyday woman. It really was fascinating how cultured and intelligent someone so young could be, and that passion! Aside from mating and the thirst for blood and power, vampires didn't really typically have any real passions, it was so refreshing. I knew that if they ever truly met, Esme and Alice would get along like old friends.

Edward rose and almost ran out of the cafeteria the moment the bell rang, but when I made my way through the crowd, I found him standing at the door, waiting for me. I felt like giggling at my sweet boy. He even held the door open for me when we made it to the lab room.

We did draw stares in the hall, though, and not just from Jessica's group. Everyone seemed to be giving us disgusted glares. I felt predatory and territorial, I wanted to growl at anyone who dared give my beautiful boy a hard time. Children could be so catty and cruel and superficial.

It didn't even seem to phase Edward. His jaw always seemed to be clenched, I was worried he was damaging his teeth. And he always looked vaguely upset and uncomfortable in his body, with the whole slouched posture and shuffling feet.

Edward continued scratching at the inside of his arm and avoiding my gaze all throughout biology. We didn't get to actually work on our project, but Banner gave us a moment at the end of class to discuss it with our partners. I turned to face my crumpled Edward.

"So, where would you like to meet today? I'm afraid my house is out; it'll be too busy with my whole family there." Edward finally looked at me, his green eyes confused and questioning.

"Remember, we have to plan the weekend today?" I reminded him. I simply wouldn't take no for an answer, and Alice didn't say that Edward had plans when I mentioned it. I was momentarily frightened. What if Edward was meeting with another girl without his sister's knowing? But Edward nodded his agreement like he did, indeed, remember.

"It's a pretty nice day, we could go to Tilicum Park, it's just down the street. A lot of kids go there after school to hang out," and smoke weed and drink, I added mentally. I would keep Edward away from those kids, we would be in the pavilion instead of at the playground.

"In p-pu-public?" Edward again turned a delectable shade of pink. I really could get used to the blushing, it was almost worth him staying human. I couldn't wait to cause it for all sorts of naughty reasons.

"Well, unless you want to go hide in the woods..." I trailed off jokingly. The thought past through my head, taking Edward in the woods, finalising our bond and having my way with him. He looked at me again, surprised, and I redirected my inner monologue. Was it so obvious that I desired him greatly?

"I'll give you a ride? Meet me out front, okay?" Rose and Emmett could run home, take some alone time in the woods. I was the only person that Rose didn't mind allowing to drive her BMW, including her reckless driver of a husband.

He nodded and grabbed his bag when the bell rang, leaving the room quickly. I sat in the room until it emptied out, listening Edward's heartbeat fade out, still discernible, but farther away.

Alice poked her head into the lab room and smiled at me, always smiling that girl.

"You coming, Bella?" We did, indeed, have Gym class together, a blessing considering it was track month and I could run alongside her. Humans sure did get breathy when running, even Alice who looked to be in rather good shape. I made the effort to breathy heavily and unsteadily, but I didn't think it was going to fool Alice.

"How do you like Forks?" I asked. Alice just held up two thumbs in approval, focusing on her panting breaths as we rounded the track for the fifth time. We stopped on the sixth, far ahead of the rest of the group, and headed to the locker rooms for a shower.

I took a quick, unnecessary one and continued my questioning on a now steadily breathing Alice in the shower.

"What's living with the Chief like?" I asked, trying to not get too far in depth in their past. I didn't want to push.

"Oh he's a very nice man, the best home we've ever been in," Alice said while shampooing her hair from behind the filmy curtain.

"Why Forks?"

"Honestly? Not very many people want to take in two teenage siblings, much less a teenage boy. They're usually trouble." I hummed in agreement, most teenage boys were not exactly saints. Alice poked her soapy head out from behind the curtain, covering her body.

"Oh, but not Edward, he's good," she disclaimed heartily. I nodded. I knew he was good; how could he be anything but if I loved him so. "What your opinion on mandatory minimum sentencing?" Alice changed the subject rapidly, and I knew my questioning was over for the day.

"Oh, ummm, I think it depends on the crime..." and we discussed the justice system for the remainder of the period until I walked Alice to the library.

"Edward is in Spanish, he should be out soon," Alice said in parting. I made my way to the front of the school, leaning against the BMW. I was listening to Edward's heart beat faster than normal, still in Building 7, when Rosalie sauntered over to me.

"Good luck," she said with a smile, pressing her car keys in my palm. I couldn't help but pull her into a hug, I was so overwhelmed with love. If I couldn't express it to my Edward, I had to show it to someone.

I heard Edward leaving the school through the front doors, and I saw Emmett trailing right behind him. Emmett was smiling a toothy grin, dangerous teeth and all, and made his way over to us, grabbing Rose's hand and walking off with a wink. That couldn't be good. Edward had an elevated heart rate and I felt a flash of rage at Emmett for scaring my love.

Edward was all slouched and uncomfortable, scanning the parking lot, probably looking for me. I started the car and drove the 20 feet over to where he was standing.

"Hey, I'm here!" I yelled through the open passenger door window. He slipped into the car and scratched at his wrists again. I had put a Debussy CD in, something calming and loving, and noticed that Edward halted his scratching to tap out the keys to Claire de Lune. I felt the love grow, he had excellent taste in music and he could play. I couldn't wait to see him play, I would have to go buy a grand piano for him.

I pulled into the parking lot by the time Claire de Lune finished, out and grabbing the book from the back seat by the time Edward managed to trip out. I followed behind him to the pavilion, watching the way his long legs moved gracefully. I wanted to wrap my legs around his slim hips and stay there for an eternity.

He dropped unceremoniously on a wooden bench and pulled out his overused biology textbook. I didn't want to jump right in, I wanted to talk to him, to hear him say a sentence longer than three words.

I pulled out the steak sandwich I had rewrapped at lunch and handed it to him, grabbing an apple for myself to eat. And I would eat. He noticed when I didn't, and I couldn't be too careful. His stomach grumbles, and he opened the sandwich without protest, taking a bite. He hummed a little in appreciation, and I made note to thank Esme, and ask her to teach me to cook. Because Edward eating was... appetising. The way his full lips wrapped around the food, the way his mouth moved as he chewed, the way his eyes closed as he ate. I could watch it forever.

"So," I said, forcing myself to take a bite out of the crunchy fruit, "how are YOU liking Forks?" He was still looking down, always looking away from me.

"S'okay," he said, mouth full, flipping through the pages of the textbook. He seemed to be intently fake-reading a section on flatworm dissection.

"I'm relatively new here, too, you know? Moved here with my family a year and a half ago," I said after swallowing my masticated apple. It was sour and disgusting, and would be even worse coming back up later. He looked up at me, finally meeting my gaze, when I mentioned I was new, too. New by Forks standards at least. I was surprised no one gave him the low-down on the strange Cullen family the moment he stepped foot in the town. He wanted to know more, I could tell.

"Yeah, we move around a lot, too. Emmett and I were adopted by Carlisle, and Rose is Esme's niece. We're kind of a patched up, make shift family, but it works," I wanted him to relate to me so badly it hurt, I wanted him to talk to me, to tell me about himself.

"Alice and I a-are too," he said, "We m-m-make it wor-r-r-rk." His voice was so soft I wanted to wrap myself in it. And he was talking to me! Actually talking!

"I know, it's an adjustment, isn't it?" I commented, received a nod in response again.

"The sandwich is good, isn't it? My mother Esme made it. She's a fabulous cook, I can't wait until you try something fresh from the kitchen this weekend." There. An opening to talking about our plans for the weekend. And hopefully, the weekend would lead to a date.

"Weekend?" His eyes were wide and confused and gorgeous. I stopped myself from staring into them and falling in.

"Well, yes. I figured you would stay for dinner after we hiked, I'm not sure how long we'll be gone. I know the area pretty well, I'm a big outdoors person, so I know the perfect area we can collect samples from." I thought of my meadow, and Edward in it, blades of grass and pretty flowers caressing his soft flesh as he laid comfortably next to me, watching the clouds roll by.

"What d-do you s-s-s-s-s," he took a deep breath and looked at me before starting over, "What do you s-sug-g-gest for f-fauna?" He asked. I was so in love with this boy. I wanted to hold him.

"Oh, I have a pretty nice camera. Well, it's my brother's, but I can use it. I think if we've very quiet, we might be able to catch a picture of a deer," I swallowed a laugh, thinking about catching a deer.

"Cool." He thought I was cool! I launched into explaining my thoughts for the labelling of the project, rambling and caught in the excitement of talking to my mate, of being with him one-on-one.

I could happily say we were comfortable around each other by the end of the afternoon. He had spoken more and more, stringing together wordier responses than necessary. I had never had a more interesting or enthralling conversation in my entire than existence- and I had spoken to da Vinci! He was so intelligent and quick, our conversation was easy once he became more comfortable, and I couldn't even bother to fight the smile that was plastered on my face. I had never been happier in my entire life.

I drove him home in a comfortable silence, listening to the soft tunes of Debussy. I was enraptured with the way his fingers moved with the notes, tapping on his thighs. I wanted it to be my fingers on his thighs.

I pulled up to the Chief's house and got out. I could hear only Alice inside, in the kitchen or living room from where I placed her heartbeat. I let Edward lead me inside, he wasn't even questioning letting me come in without asking. I felt kind of stupid and rude, I should have waited for him to invite me, like a vampire in a movie. I swallowed another laugh at my inside joke, always giddy when I was in the presence of Edward, and was greeted by Alice at the door. Edward continued into the kitchen without looking back, dropping his bag on the counter and pouring himself water. Good. Water was good for humans, and he should probably drink more of it.

"Hi, Bella, come on it! Can I get you something to drink? No, right, of course," she giggled, "how was your afternoon? Edward wasn't _too_ moody, was he?" I shook my head no, caught up in the whirlwind that was typical Alice.

"Alice," Edward warned from the kitchen, gulping down his second glass of water. She didn't even look his way, just rolled her eyes and continued.

"No, I'm sure you guys had a wonderful time. And you will again this weekend. Nice, cloudy weather, remember?"

"Yeah, it's going to be a nice weekend. My mother is going to be cooking," I contributed.

"That's nice. Is that your car, the one outside? Or is it your sisters?" Edward came out of the kitchen, holding a glass of just ice, and crunching down on one. I could tell it was terrible for his teeth, I could hear the enamel being scraped off.

"Oh, that's Rosalie's baby. She's a total car snob," _Get used to it, Rose, they're family now_.

"It's such a nice car. I love cars, too. It kinda sucks, having to be driven to school in a police car. It's not like we didn't get enough attention in the first place," Alice rolled her eyes and laughed, leading me into the living room and onto the couch. I saw my opening, it was almost like Alice was giving it to me.

"Oh, well, Alice, I could drive you guys in the morning if you want?" _I really, really want to, please, Alice, say yes_. I knew she would by the way her green eyes lit up.

"I don't want to put you out! What about your brother and sister?" She was just being polite, I could tell. Edward's heart rate had sped up, but he moved away from us and back into the kitchen. I could tell he was just standing in there, probably trying to listen.

"Emmett and Rosalie would probably enjoy the time alone. Besides, I have my own car. It's not as nice as Rosalie's, but..." I hadn't driven in what felt like forever, and this was the perfect excuse to spend as much time as possible with Edward and Alice. Perhaps I could even take them out to an early dinner after school, get both of them a large meal full of iron. And lots of water.

"Oh, thank you, Bella!" Alice threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me as tightly as she could. I tightened up, waiting for her to draw back in disgust at feeling my cold, dead skin. But she didn't, it didn't even seem to faze her. When she pulled back, she thanked me again.

"It's really nothing. You're on my way, anyways," I lied. I heard the cruiser pull up, and Charlie lumbered in.

"Hey guys, who's got that sweet ride?" He said happily. I stood to greet him, rubbing my hands together to try to create some friction and warm them so I could shake his hand.

"Hi, Chief Swan, I'm Bella Cullen, Edward's lab partner," _and love and life and mate_. I reached out my hand and shook his hot one. He pulled back almost immediately. "Sorry, poor circulation," I apologised. He shook his head and ignored my apology.

"Nice to meet you. You're one of Dr. Cullen's kids?" His voice was rough and his demeanour unpolished, but I could tell he was kind and gentle.

"Yes, I am, sir."

"How's the family?" He sat down on the loveseat next to Alice.

"Everyone is wonderful, thank you for asking, sir," I smiled at him. I really liked this man.

"Call me Charlie," he waved his hand, "You know, I gotta say, when they told me that a young couple was moving to town with their three adopted teenagers, I was a little worried." He trailed off, and his ears turned a little pink. I think he said more than he meant to, but I tended to have that effect on people, especially when I was smiling at them the way I was grinning at Charlie.

"I can imagine! Looks like you took a page out of Carlisle's book, though, fostering two teenagers." Alice grinned over at me and reached out to squeeze my hand. I was still waiting for her to run away screaming from touching my dead skin. Charlie turned even pinker. I stood up to leave, sparing him any more embarrassment.

"I really should be going. Esme will be expecting me for dinner," I smiled and Alice walked me out. Once I was out the door, Edward moved into the living room to sit with Alice as Charlie.

"So, was that her car?" I heard Charlie ask.

"N-no, it's her s-sister's," Edward answered, cutting off his sister. I smiled like a madwoman as I got in the car and drove away. It hurt every time Edward's heartbeat was out of my heading range. But I would get to drive tomorrow, and I would be sitting in Alice's closet waiting to lay with Edward the minute Alice fell into a deep sleep.

And in the car, that was the first time I touched Edward.

 **What's your favourite place to be touched?**


	3. Blood Test

**Sedona by Houndmouth**

 **Märchenbilder Op. 113: I. Nicht Schnell by Robert Schumann**

I had spent the night curled up next to Edward on the floor. I was worried that not sleeping on a bed would hurt his back- perhaps that's why he slouched so. That was another thing I was going to get him. I had already purchased a grand piano, and now I would acquire a bed. It could be used for activities besides sleeping, also.

I thought of Edward and me in our new bed as I drove over to the Swan residence. If it worked out today, I could drive them every morning. It was an exciting prospect.

I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. I heard only two heartbeats- the cruiser was gone- and the sounds of eating. Excellent, I hoped that meant that Edward was eating plenty.

Alice opened the door, mouth full of corn puffs and milk, only half dressed for the day in a sleep shirt and multi coloured leggings. I supposed I was rather early, but I just couldn't wait to see him in a conscious state again.

"Hey, come on in, we're not exactly ready," I pushed off my raincoat and followed Alice into the kitchen. Edward was bent over a bowl of cereal, his hair damp and dark, dripping on the table. He smelled like soap and boy and I wanted to wrap myself around him.

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" I gestured toward the half full pot sitting on the counter. I wanted to hold it and feel warm, but I knew I would also have to drink some. Alice nodded and sat down next to Edward, back towards me, as I poured the cup and put it in the microwave.

Edward discarded the empty bowl and moved across the hall to his room. Alice followed shortly thereafter, dancing up the stairs after asking if I wanted to join her. I politely declined, I didn't want to be further away from Edward than necessary.

I heard him pull up his T-shirt and drop it on the floor. I imagined being in there with him, pulling his clothes off, running my hands across his smooth chest. I would kiss his full mouth, then move down, kissing across his sharp jaw, then down to his throat. His blood would be rushing quickly through his body, heart pounding, and I would kiss his jugular, before pulling it into my mouth and-

I shook my head, trying to clear my head. I couldn't entertain thoughts like that for a long while. _Be what he needs you to be, Bella_. Edward came out of his room first, dressed again in a hoody and holey jeans. He looked delectable, all long limbs and wet hair.

Alice skipped downstairs and out the door without a word. I could hear her opening the car down and climbing in before Edward even moved. I smiled to myself and made my way into the foyer to get my raincoat, Edward following behind me. I heard his heart rate pick up from just walking, and it was a little concerning. I couldn't smell any diseases or conditions, I hoped there wasn't anything laying dormant in him, I reminded myself to ask Carlisle why his heart rate would sporadically pick up.

I slipped on my jacket and moved to open the door that Alice had slammed behind her, but I let Edward beat me to it. His slender fingers wrapped around the knob and he pulled it in. I wanted to be that door, I wanted to feel Edward's fingers on my skin. I needed to.

As I walked through the door, my hand reached out of its own volition and touched his. It was just supposed to come off as a pat, a "thank you for holding the door" pat, but it was so much more.

His skin was impossibly soft and warm, I could feel the blood underneath the surface, every facet of every invisible hair on his knuckle. It was _electrifying_. I could almost hear our skin crackle.

I turned my head to look into his face, our hands still touching. His expression made me want to cry. He looked like the opposite of how I felt. His jaw was clenched, lips drawn in a line, eyes tight and uncomfortable. I withdrew my hand quickly and rushed to the car at human speed.

Had I hurt him? I was rather practiced at keep my touches soft when interacting with humans, but perhaps I got carried away and pressed too hard? What if I repulsed him, and he wanted someone warm and alive rather than the feeling of my hard, cold skin?

His heart was still beating hard as he slid into the back seat. I was internally grateful that Alice had chosen to sit in the front seat. And she was flicking through radio stations and chattering about music before I even pulled out of the driveway, completely oblivious to the tension between Edward and I.

"This is a really nice car. I almost like it better than the BMW. What year is it? How did you get it?"

"Oh, it's a 1953. Rose rebuilt it for me. It was a birthday present," I wasn't even really paying attention to anything but Edward. He had pulled his hoodie up, and it was getting damp from the wetness in his hair. He was slouched in the back seat and was scratching at his wrist again, heart still thumping. I was consumed with shame. He looked so uncomfortable, and I made him that way.

We were pulling into the parking lot when I smelled blood. The venom was flowing freely; I couldn't hold my breath fast enough. It didn't usually bother me, but it was _Edward's_ blood. I sped through the parking lot and violently slammed on the breaks in Rose's usual parking spot. I flew out of the car and almost yanked Edward's door off.

"Are you ok," I gasped. I must have hurt him somehow, either from touching him or my driving or my car, because he was still _bleeding_. My Edward was hurt, I felt my chest crack and a sob rip through. I could have sworn that venom was pooling in my eyes. _My fault, my fault, my fault_.

He looked in my eyes, and I saw the worry in there. He still wasn't speaking though, didn't even act like h heard a word I said. He did look fine, though. Nervous, worried, but not physically damaged.

"Edward, are you okay?" My voice was gentler, but I was still blocking him from getting out, blocking the anyone in the empty parking lot from seeing him. Alice opened the passenger door and got out.

"I'm gonna, uh, go to class. See you in English," I heard her slip away, but I couldn't pull my eyes from Edward's, he still looked unwell. He was even a shade paler.

"I'm f-f-f-fine," his voice was soft, almost apologetic. He moved to get out of the truck, and I let him, but I didn't let him get any further.

"Edward, where are you bleeding," he said he was okay, and I believed him, of course, but he was still bleeding! I had to attend to it, had to make sure he didn't lose any blood. Perhaps that was why he was paler.

"I'm not," he said, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater. I followed his hands, and breathed in for the first time since I had parked. His arm, that's what was bleeding. Under his sweater, where he was scratching at earlier.

I pulled his arm to me and pushed up the sleeve, to his protest. He tried to pull his arm away, made a little upset noise. I could deal with him being upset with me later, but now I needed to do this, lest I go insane.

I was horrified. There was a long burn-looking mark that was bleeding in the soft, white skin of his inner wrist. There were other burn looking marks all up and down his arm, some of them scabbed over and others fresher looking. He had scratched at his skin until it bled.

I pulled a tissue from my bag in the front seat and pressed it to the bleeding burn. I was so hurt that my beautiful Edward could do anything like that to himself, but I kept my expression even and calm. He needed me not to judge him, and I wouldn't.

I moved his other hand to hold the tissue to his arm, relishing in the electricity on my skin and the warmth of his body. I moved to the trunk of the truck and pulled out the first aid kit I had stored there this morning.

After swabbing the area with an alcohol wipe and applying a Band-Aid, I leaned down and kissed the area next to the burn. I couldn't help it. My eyes closed as my lips made contact with his soft skin, this feeling was unparalleled. I tried to convey to him that I accepted him no matter what through one, soft, fleeting kiss.

When I looked up at him, his brows were knotted together and his eyes cast down in shame. My Edward. My perfect Edward. _I love you. Please don't hurt yourself. Please look at me._

And he did. He looked in my eyes and swallowed uncomfortably, shifting between his feet. I needed to let him go, let him have time without me, however much it hurt me to do so. I released his now-covered arm and walked away, each step that took me further away from him was not physically painful to take.

I was breathing deeply all through homeroom, making sure there was no scent of Edward's blood in the air. I was focused on his heartbeat, all the way over in Building 5. It was even and steady, but I wanted to see his face to make sure he was okay.

Alice was uncharacteristically quiet at the beginning of English, scribbling away in her sketchbook. Her mouth was pulled into a little frown, and her cheeks were pink, and I wondered if she knew about Edward's self harm. I swallowed a growl with the venom that came with her blush, angry that she knew and didn't stop him. I clenched my fists and turned to the front of the room when Mr. Mason started talking, needing a distraction lest I did something stupid.

I stormed out of the room when the bell rang to find Rose. I needed someone to keep me from acting on my uncharacteristic anger. I needed someone to stop me from taking Edward out of school, driving up to Canada, completing our bond, and keeping him safe for the rest of our existence. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him for forever.

Rose let me pull her out of school and into the parking lot without a word. We wouldn't be in our next class, it was inevitable.

"Stop me, Rose," I hissed, clutching my sides to keep from falling apart. Rose seemed surprised, to say the least. But she didn't even say anything, just cocked her eyebrow in typical Rose fashion and held my hand. I squeezed it softly, like I would if it were Edward's precious hand in mine.

"I didn't realise, Rose. I have so much to learn," I cried, throwing myself into the arms of my Amazonian of a sister, "I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Just get to know him," Rose said into my hair, "Be what he needs." I just let her hold me, reflecting on her sage words. I had no issue being supportive of Edward, of being understanding. I wanted to learn WHY he would do something so harsh to his resplendent skin, I wanted to know everything about him.

"My emotions are crazy. It's like I have PMS or something," I joked, finally reigning in my anger. Rose always had that effect on me, she always knew exactly what to say, or what not to say. She snorted and unwrapped me from her hold, grabbing my hand and walking towards the tree line.

"It will get better when you complete the bond, I'm sure," I hadn't even thought of that. I would experience these raging emotions for two years? It was a terrifying prospect.

Rose and I ran silently through the woods, covering our bags with our raincoats and depositing them near school. There used to be nothing like running in the rain, experiencing the raindrops shattering on my skin, feeling branches whip at me and break off when I hit them. But every drop was too cold, I wanted Edward's touch. Rose threw me a wicked side eye, seemingly knowing that I was desperate for my mate, and circled back to get our bags.

I spent the rest of my day stressing out about lunch and biology. I didn't want anything to be uncomfortable between Edward and I. And it didn't help my agitated state when Tyler Crowley approached me before Spanish, propped up on his elbows at my desk.

"So, are you and that Masen kid goin out?" He asked bluntly. I had never been a fan of Tyler, and this didn't help. I just wanted to sit and pretend to be engaged in Mrs. Goff's lesson as I listened to Edward's strong heart beat the rhythm of my life.

"I wish," I mumbled in response to Tyler. He looked surprised, but he accepted my answer and moved to his own desk. Then, I heard the whispers.

"I can't believe _Bella Cullen_ is going out with that freak!"

"Yeah, and did you see him today? He's so emo and weird-"

"Gross foster kid-"

"She's a 10 and he's-"

The anger was bubbling up, and the only thing that kept me on a simmer was Edward. His heart beat. The prospect of seeing him in moments. The fantasies I had of us running through the mountains together one hundred years from now. I unclenched my fists and ran to the cafeteria as fast as I could when the bell rang, eager to escape those petty humans and their vicious comments.

I smiled at him from the moment he walked through the doors. I wanted to convey that I bore no ill thoughts of him from the moment he saw me. He _couldn't_ be uncomfortable with me, he was my mate, and I would never judge him.

But he did seem kind of uncomfortable. He arrived before Alice, and he kind of shuffled around the table before slouching onto the bench. His skin was all pink and soft as he opened up another peanut butter sandwich and picked at it with his slender fingers. I sighed and wished I was a sandwich, a thought I never imagined I would have.

But lunch wasn't particularly awkward. Alice and I carried on a conversation about the feminist themes of _The Bell Jar_ , and Edward actually nodded in agreement with me when I started talking about the dehumanisation of Esther Greenwood.

And we walked together to Biology in a comfortable silence, filled with the soft sounds of Edward humming Märchenbilder. His voice was lovely, and I was suddenly very excited for my piano delivery in the coming weeks.

Friday was also relatively normal, or as normal any moment spent with someone as spectacular as Edward could be. He hummed along with the radio, and he nodded or shook his head when Alice and I had heated conversations about literature or politics.

When I dropped them off Friday afternoon, I happily reminded Edward that I would be by in the morning for our nature hike.

"Dress comfortably," I told him, even though I would have a spare pair of clothes for him in the trunk. Just in case.

And he didn't seem unexcited to spend the day with me. He was still semi-uncomfortable with me, something I hoped to change on Saturday, but it also meant that his cheeks were always tinged an adorable pink with his delicious blood.

I actually spend much of the night away from Edward. Of course, I checked in on him intermittently, and curled up next to him for a few hours, but Esme was teaching me how to cook.

We prepared the lunch I would be bringing- spinach salad and chicken subs- and then moved on to desserts. Esme wanted to make cake for after dinner, but we also made oatmeal cookies to bring on the hike. The more food I could get into him the better.

I put everything into one of those stereotypical wicked picnic baskets, complete with the red and white checkered blanket. I had picked out some of Carlisle's clothes to pack as spares, just a shirt, jeans, socks, boots and a coat. I would almost be happy if he had to use them, just so I could see him in something other than those baggy sweaters he wore. He looked wonderful in them, he would look good in anything, but it wouldn't hurt him to dress to match his gorgeousness.

He wasn't wearing a sweater when I picked him up, though, just a light, long sleeved shirt. But he was wearing his normal, holey sneakers, and I was glad I brought the boots.

"Oh, here," I said, handing him the plastic container with the ham and spinach omelette I had made, "I made too much this morning, you can have it if you'd like." He took the container and scarfed it down, humming appreciatively. Esme never steered me wrong!

"You've ne-never p-p-played music with-with w-words before," he said, actually initiated the conversation. I smiled over at him and turned up the song. I had burned a CD with a playlist for today. What can I say, I'm an old fashioned gal.

"I do like other music," I tapped my fingers to the beat of a Houndmouth song.

"Y-yeah, I li-like this s-s-song too," he gave me a little smile while staring out the window, and I thought I would explode with happiness. His smile was beautiful! His full lips were pulled over straight white teeth, and I was officially dazzled.

"W-watch the ro-road!" He cried, hands clutching the sides of the leather seats, green eyes wide and horrified. I laughed a little at his naïveté, but averted my eyes from him and to the road. Anything to make my mate happy.

I took the truck down the dirt road, contemplating Rose's faked anger when she realised she would have to wash the car. At least it was only cloudy, as Alice had predicted, and there was no sign of rain. It was actually pleasant outside, a perfect day for our long hike.

I grabbed the basket and strapped the camera around my neck, leading Edward to the trail. He even made the move to take the picnic basket out of my hands, my chivalrous boy. He really was the perfect mate, and he would make a stunning vampire.

I hummed on our two-hour hike, knowing Edward would be too out of breath to hum to me, but other than that, we were silent. I handed the camera off to Edward so he could take pictures of squirrels, a Clarks-Nutcracker, and two Green-Tailed-Towhees. I was glad it was a productive hike for this excuse of a school project. I likely would have found some reason or another to get Edward alone this weekend.

"We're almost there," I said, handing him a water bottle as we took a break. His skin was damp and he smelled delicious, all boy sweat and rushing blood. I wanted to kiss him. Hard.

"Great," he replied mindlessly, squinting at the trees ahead of us. I could see the meadow, but I doubted he could, especially on a cloudy day. I picked up a heartleaf arnica flower and stowed it in the picture book I had brought. I would press the flowers later and press them for the presentation, but I also planned on keeping the pressed flowers as a keepsake. First day alone with _Edward_. To the first of many firsts.

I pulled off my shoes when we made it to the clearing, and Edward followed suit, kicking off Carlisle's boots and setting them down deliberately next to mine. Edward helped me with the blanket, and we sat close to each other on the ground. It was lovely.

"So, where did you live before Forks?" I asked as we ate our salads. At least it was better than any processed food.

"We w-were st-sta-staying in s-s-s," he breathed, but he didn't seem uncomfortable with the question, and I nodded encouragingly, "s-s-separate gr-group homes in Port Angeles. B-before th-that, a f-f-foster home in Seq-q-q-quim. B-before th-that, I d-don't even know." My heart broke for him, but I was careful to keep the sympathy out of my expression as to not offend him.

"I moved around a lot growing up, too," I nodded, "still do, actually. Carlisle is a doctor, and he's very in demand, not to brag, but we move pretty often for his job. We were in Alaska before Forks."

"W-wow! Alaska! I-I've never b-been out o-of s-st-state," he shared, his cheeks turning pink. What an adorable boy! And we would travel plenty after we bonded, maybe even before. We had to spend our next summer somehow!

"W-what's b-b-b-been your f-fav-v-vourite place to l-live?" He asked, munching on the submarine sandwich. "Oh, w-wow th-this is good!" He exclaimed.

"Thank you, they're my favourite too," I lied, "And I think Forks has been my favourite place so far." And it would be until Edward left it. My favourite place in the world would be wherever Edward was.

"F-Forks?" His face clouded with confusion, "w-why F-Forks?"

"Because that's where you are," I said honestly, reaching my hand out to touch his knee. I couldn't lie to him. But it was clearly a mistake. His jaw clenched angrily for the first time that day, and he pulled his eyes away from me and to the green grass. He even stuck his hand under the sleeve of his shirt and began scratching absentmindedly.

"D-don't d-d-do th-th-that," he whispered harshly, scratching harder and slouching. I leaned over and pulled his hand away from his wrist, I didn't think I could deal if he began bleeding again.

"Do what?" I asked kindly, weaving my fingers through his. It was heaven. I wanted to look down at our conjoined hands, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his ravishingly angry face.

"M-make f-f-fun of m-me. W-w-why are y-y-y-y-you d-d-doing th-this?" He pulled his hands from mine and tucked it into his side. I wanted to hold him, to show him how much I loved him.

"Oh, Edward, no!" I cried, "I'm not making fun of you! I mean what I say, I always mean what I say." I put my hand back on his knee, and he flinched. I knew it wasn't from pressure, I had been practicing.

"I really do like you, Edward. I think you're wonderful," I added honestly. His expression softened, and he looked at me and gave me a shy smile.

"I like you, too," he said after several moments. I could have died right then, and I would have died a happy woman. My mate was a sweet, smart, gorgeous human, and he liked me! And then his stomach grumbled audibly, Edward blushed, and the thickness of adoration in the air was cut through.

"Oh, here! I made them last night," I said, handing him a pile of oatmeal cookies, when I noticed he had finished the sub. He was still all blushy and smiley, but he ate the cookies happily. What a satisfying day!

We spent the afternoon picking wildflowers and talking about anything and everything. I learned his favourite animal was an octopus because they were so intelligent, and that he secretly loved the Harry Potter series, an obsession I told him I shared. Neither of us had ever had pets (I didn't mention the grizzly Emmett tried to keep in the 80's), and he really wanted to go to college, but he wanted to go wherever Alice did. I didn't ask why, but I assumed it had something to do with the fact that he slept on her floor every night.

Our walk back was comfortable, at last we were comfortable together at last. Our project was basically finished, but I didn't think I would need an excuse to see him outside of school again.

He was all deliciously sweaty when we got back to the truck, and I offered him a shirt to change into before we went home for dinner. He accepted it gratefully, but just held it in the dirt parking lot and blushed, staring at the ground.

"What?" I asked, and he shifted back and forth.

"I n-n-need to ch-change," he whispered, and realisation dawned. He was embarrassed! Mates weren't supposed to experience this around each other, but he WAS human. I turned around, but listened to him peel off his sweaty shirt. I thought about his chest, about touching it, and I felt a warmth grow in my chest and stomach. I felt flushed, even though I knew it wasn't physically possible.

We chatted as we drove this time, carrying on our comfortable conversation from earlier in the afternoon. The sun was dipping in the sky, and the clouds were turning a bright orange that reflected my elated mood. I reached over and placed my hand on his, and he flipped his palm and weaved our fingers together of his own volition. Our hands stayed intertwined until I had to downshift, pulling into my long and twisting driveway.

And that was the first time Edward met my family.

 **Who was the first person you held hands with?**


	4. The Cullens

Please review, please read. Someone, anyone.

This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris

Salut d'Amour by Elgar

I heard his heart rate pick up, smelled the release of epinephrine in his rushing blood. The cab of the truck was so warm and mouth watering; I didn't want to leave when I pulled in front of the house.

It was lit up, Esme's doing, and even I could admit that it was a pleasant site at night. Edward gasped, but let me pull him inside. His feet were shuffling, and his shoulders were tight, but his face was still flushed from our hike and his hair was deliciously messy. I wanted to consume him.

"Are y-you sure.. I m-mean m-maybe.. w-will th-they.. you sh-sh-should t-take m-m-me b-back to Charlie's," he was so uncomfortable, tugging at the sleeves of Carlisle's shirt, his eyes darting around. He looked like a hunted animal.

"Is something wrong? Did I do something?" I was normally so skilled at concealing my nature, but everything was so easy with him, perhaps he picked up on something. We were standing outside the door, I could hear everyone shuffling around inside, likely both trying to listen and trying to provide some privacy.

"I'm all s-s-sweaty and w-what if th-th-they-they don't l-like me," he was nervous about meeting my family, not terrified of me! This gorgeous, silly boy wanted to impress my family, as if simply being my mate wasn't enough. A soft sound emerged from my chest, not a growl, but something softer. Like what Rose and Esme did. I smiled up at him, and pulled at his hair, trying to smooth it out of his face.

"C'mon, Esme has dinner ready," I twisted our fingers together and pulled him inside. His hand was stiff and warm in mine, the adrenaline still pushing through his bloodstream, keeping him nervous and jittery.

The house smelled like humans, and I immediately worried that Emmett misinterpreted Esme saying I was bringing Edward home for dinner. But then I smelled the wood, and smiled. I knew it wouldn't be appropriate today, but it would be here when he was ready to play it for me.

It wasn't like the smell of the human movers could have been remotely tempting, the air was heavy with disgusting human food. But Edward's stomach rumbled softly, and he inhaled in deeply through his perfect nose, and I knew Esme had done an excellent job once again.

Carlisle came to us first, smiling warmly and in full physician mode. They were going to introduce themselves one by one, Esme shuffling around the kitchen and biding her time until she could finally see my Edward.

"Carlisle. It's nice to meet you, Edward," he introduced, giving Edward's hand a firm shake. His heart rate picked back up, and he pulled his hand from mine to scratch roughly at his wrist. I quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. He didn't have to hold my hand, but he couldn't bleed in this house.

"Why don't you take Edward into the kitchen and get him something to drink, Bella?" Carlisle offered, sensing the tension between us. There would be questions on that later, I was sure.

I led Edward past the set up mahogany dining table into the odorous kitchen. The oven was still running, but there was a cake on the counter, and slabs of meat resting on the stove. And ever- present Esme, grinning kindly.

"Hello, dear. Thank you for joining us for dinner," Esme leaned in, softly holding his shoulders in a kind of makeshift embrace. It was closer than I had ever gotten to holding him, I felt almost jealous. "Now, tea or water?"

"W-water," Edward whispered, pulling at his sleeve. He still hadn't made contact with anyone since we had walked into the house, neither Esme or Carlisle had put him at ease. I reached out automatically, touching his lean bicep softly. He tensed up for a moment, but his stance shifted open, and he looked at me finally.

His thick brows were pulled together, his deep green eyes were widened and concerned. His bottom lip was glossy and protruding and I wanted to suck it into my mouth and kiss away the pain, but Esme handed me a cup of tea and Edward water before I could do anything he might regret.

"Why don't you two go into the dining room and I'll bring out the food," Esme shooed us away, adding quietly, "Rosalie and Emmett thought it best to stay away for dinner. Your poor mate seems nervous enough as it is."

Nervous. I hadn't thought that he was nervous, but uncomfortable and afraid. What did he have to be nervous about in the calming presence of Carlisle and around kind Esme? Was it me, then, who made him nervous? I had always been friendly with humans, but I supposed I had never put them at ease.

I continued to question myself as Esme brought out the serving dishes, looking like she had just cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Carlisle slipped into the room and took the plates from Esme, thanking her and giving us a kind smile, before sitting down at the head of the table on the east side of the room.

"Did you two have a pleasant hike? Get a lot of work done?" Carlisle asked, serving Edward a pile of orange, rancid smelling mush. Edward fidgeted, but his stomach was still grumbling and I could smell the drop in sugar levels in her blood.

"Yeah, it was very productive," I answered, "so what's for dinner, Esme?" I wanted to side-step conversation about this afternoon, lest it make Edward more uncomfortable or _nervous_ than he was.

"Ok so we have steak here," she placed a slab on Edward's plate, "I hope I cooked it ok, dear. And here are some mashed sweet potatoes, and Parmesan broccoli with roasted pine nuts." It all looked and smelled disgusting, but Edward did seem pleased.

"He's very observant," I commented under my breath, a warning that they should both make an attempt to eat the food on their plate. I was grateful Rose and Emmett weren't there to complain about human food and intimidate Edward. Esme nodded almost imperceptibly as she sat to Carlisle's left and let Carlisle serve her.

"Th-this looks w-w-wonderful," Edward told Esme, eyes on his plate and fork swirling through the potatoes. His cheeks were pink, but his eyes were sparkling and his voice was genuine, and I knew Esme immediately adored him outside of my love for him.

"Thank you very much, Edward," her smile had never broken, and I could see how she was already ready to fawn over him, to mother him. I wondered if he had ever been mothered before, what his family life was like both inside of the foster system, and before. I forked a floret of broccoli and swallowed it quickly, feeling it slide heavily down my oesophagus.

"Bella, did you get the books I left for you yesterday?" Carlisle asked, heading a conversation. But I literally had no idea what he was talking about, I hadn't been in my room for longer than a moment in days. I shook my head in response as I chewed on the piece of cooked meat, almost gagging as the rotten blood dropped down my throat.

"I suppose not," Carlisle expertly consumed his food, both he and Esme had attended many a human event for hospitals, "I found a research thesis on art at the height of the Italian Renaissance I thought you might be interested in. There were some interesting portions I had never heard of, I was wondering about your take on them. Bella is quite the expert, you know." Edward's eyebrows rose in surprise, and he turned to meet my ever-present gaze.

"R-really?" Little did he know that the reason I was an expert was because I lived it.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am, but so is Carlisle," I offered.

"It's something they bond over," Esme added to Edward, serving him more potatoes without him even asking, "Their 'father/daughter' moments. It's really quite funny when they get deep in conversation."

"L-like what?" Edward was still only looking at me, but I wasn't sure who the question was directed at. Esme chose to answer.

"Oh you should hear it. Once, quite recently actually, they began arguing loudly over the true genius of Leonardo da Vinci over other artists of his age. Carlisle is a bit of a Michelangelo fan ever since he found out about the story behind the statue of David, but Bella is a staunch da Vinci supporter." Esme giggled, and Carlisle stifled a laugh at the memory. It was a loud argument, and turned violent when I hurled a metal book end at his head.

"D-do you m-m-mean how it w-was c-c-carved out of w-worn and-d d-di-discarded m-marble?" Edward was still looking into my eyes, and I felt my jaw drop open in shock as I fell into his piercing green eyes. This amazing, intelligent, _worldly_ boy _dazzled_ me, even my quick vampire brain couldn't function quickly enough to compute what he had just said. He knew of the history of Michelangelo, of the Renaissance, of my childhood?

"Too right you are, Edward! I admire a man who has the courage to use a discarded material in a commission even Bella's precious da Vinci was passed over for," Carlisle said, recovering first. His eyes were sparkling and excited, his smile even more genuine than it had been before.

"Oh please," I rolled my eyes at Carlisle, "Leonardo was the greatest of his time, end of story." The argument had to end there, before it turned personal for me and I became too consumed in defending my friend. Carlisle scoffed, but allowed the conversation to end, turning to Esme. Edward spoke before Carlisle could, though, surprising me in usual fashion.

"I d-disagree, e-espe-espe," Edward took a breath, "especially as an a-artist. M-Michelangelo or at-at l-least R-Raphael h-had b-better e-ex-execution." I narrowed my eyes at him playfully and smiled, silently overjoyed that he was engaging with me, that he felt comfortable enough to do so. Maybe I misinterpreted the increase in his heart rate so often, the pink that coloured his cheeks even now.

"I can't do this," I threw up my hands and pushed away my half eaten food, grinning like a fool, "This is a witch hunt. You two don't understand."

Edward was smiling down at his plate, eating the last of his second serving of broccoli. His shoulders were shaking, and for a moment I worried that he was afraid of my teasing anger. But he was laughing! Carlisle joined Edward's silent laugh with his own, and soon, we were all chuckling loudly at the dinner table like a real family.

"Stop laughing at my expense," I jokingly demanded, standing up and collecting the dishes. Edward rose from next to me and immediately took the plates from my hands, blushing and pulling his plush bottom lip between his teeth.

"Can you blame us!" Carlisle exclaimed jovially after us as I followed Edward into the kitchen. He hadn't allowed me to carry any of the dishes, nor did he heed my request when he started in on cleaning the dishes. His gorgeously long fingers were rinsing away the masses of disgusting human food, and he made even that look attractive, his soft bronze hair falling into his eyesight. I urged to push it away.

Esme immediately came in and shooed him away from the sink.

"You're our guest, Edward. Please. Carlisle will clean," she smiled at him like a content mother, and I pulled Edward towards the living room. He was being too sweet for his own good, Esme would make him stay with us forever if he kept it up. I smiled at the idea of Edward being here, being a part of my family, for the rest of eternity.

It was then I heard the crunch of gravel under the tires of an M3 as Rose and Emmett pulled through the driveway. Edward had finally relaxed, he had a small smile on his face and his brows were knitted together in concentration as he browsed through Emmett's massive DVD collection next to the entertainment centre. I wasn't sure how he would react to my intimidating siblings: would he draw back and tense up and scratch at his wrists? Or would he grow comfortable around him as easily as he did with my parents, effortlessly merging into my family.

"Can we come in, B?" Emmett asked from the garage. I was relieved they asked first, and took a moment to evaluate the options and consequences.

"Yeah, but you'll have to eat cake," I replied quickly, and they bounded in, Emmett singing loudly.

"She keeps Moët et Chandon

In her pretty cabinet

'Let them eat cake, ' she says

Just like Marie Antoinette

A built-in remedy

For Kruschev and Kennedy

At anytime an invitation

You can't decline."

His voice was loud but pleasant, and Rose was smiling up at him as he swung their arms together. Seeing them so relaxed, they looked far less mean and imposing than they did at school. Emmett always seemed to be able to defuse tension, even if he didn't know it.

"Hey, Edward, nice to see you," Rose smiled at him from the hallway, "Sorry about this screeching monkey." Edward actually smiled at them, though his ears turned pink and he began tugging at his sleeves nervously. But his heart rate didn't pick up, and his divine face showed no signs of being so extremely nervous like he was earlier in the evening.

Rose pushed Emmett into the kitchen, to Esme and Carlisle who were sitting in there, as she made her way to one of the chairs. One at a time.

Edward was still standing next to the DVDs, seemingly at a loss for what to do next.

"Emmett's got quite the collection, doesn't he? I don't understand where he finds the time to watch all of them," Rose was carefully measuring her words, ensuring she sounded as kind as she meant to. It was working, Edward still didn't seem nervous as he perched at the edge of the chair next to Rosalie. I relaxed into the couch, ready to just enjoy the rest of our short time together.

"I-its cool," Edward said softly, turning to look back at the DVDs. I was just glad Emmett had finally moved into the 21st century and away from the agonisingly slow VHS tapes he had previously been obsessed with.

"I'm glad someone thinks so! All he ever seems to do is watch his movies or play video games, it's so taxing sometimes," I heard Emmett scoff from the kitchen, Carlisle hold him back from trying to come out and defend himself. We still needed a few minutes with just us three before Emmett joined.

"It's n-n-nice th-that he h-has someth-thing," Edward was gazing longingly at the collection, and my heart broke as I understood what he was saying. My perfect mate would never again go without; he would never ever have to say that he didn't have anything ever again.

Rose turned to look at me while Edward's eyes were averted, mouth open and face awash with pity. I nodded sadly at her, looking back at my lost-in-thought mate.

When it was clear that both of us were at a loss for words, Emmett came bounding in, always immune to an uncomfortable situation.

"If you think that's cool, you should see Bella and Carlisle's library sometime. And they say I'm obsessed!" Emmett joked, falling back into the couch, next to me. I heard the couch groan from under us, and glared at Emmett out of the corner of my eye. He seemed unaffected.

"I-I'd l-like to," Edward's stare was piercing, and I forgot to breathe, or to fidget like a human. He was dazzling.

"Of course," I said softly, easily falling into his deep emerald eyes. I fantasised about spending days in the library with Edward, reading and discussing and curling up together when the books stopped holding our interests. But he was cold and hard in that thought, and I shied away from my innermost thoughts. I couldn't think about Edward in this life unless he had learned about it and chosen it for himself.

"Soooooo," Rose drew out, fidgeting on the chair next to Edward.

"Yo, Esme, can we get some cake?" Emmett boomed loudly, breaking the consuming connection between Edward and me. Esme's tinkering laugh carried into the room, and I heard the clang of silverware against china as she sliced the cake up. Emmett would be getting some new video games in thanks for him being such a good sport and voluntarily asking to eat human food just to make my mate feel comfortable.

Something like that would never have happened in the Guard. A human would never have been accepted as a mate, and it would have been near disgraceful for a vampire to offer to eat to selflessly help another in their coven, whatever the circumstance would be for a situation like that to occur. But we Cullens had always been more of a family than a coven, especially with the addition of Esme and my siblings.

"Well here we are, my famous strawberry rhubarb cake," Esme said, her and Carlisle carrying plates with more mushy human food out into the living room. Emmett made a show of jumping up and trying to grab a plate from Esme, but she kept it from his grasp, purposely waiting until all of us had our plates and were seating before handing Emmett his.

Edward hid a laugh behind a cough, and dug into his slice of cake. He seemed to enjoy it because he scarfed it down, but I had no idea how he could even eat anymore. Esme had given him double servings of everything at dinner, but perhaps I wasn't well enough acquainted with human eating habits yet.

Emmett also scarfed down his cake like a typical teenage boy, asking Esme for another slice while he was still chewing on his last bite. Esme grabbed his and Edward's plates, the perfect excuse to get another slice for Edward. I politely swallowed as much of the cake as I could stomach, but I left half the slice on the plate. I noticed Carlisle did the same, but he had the ability to discard the cake behind his chair as Edward was staring at me and not anywhere near him.

In fact, I was almost ever out of Edward's line of sight. He barely even looked at Esme when she handed him his second serving, and certainly didn't look down at his food often. I would have been a bright red by then if possible, even so I was grinning wildly back at him. Here he was, surrounded by five dangerous vampires, yet he wasn't at all concerned for his safety. He seemed more at ease with all of us than he ever did at school!

How could I complain when it just meant I got to stare into those beautiful eyes for so much longer. I had all night to spend studying the rest of his face, but his eyes seemed a much rarer occurrence, and I wouldn't squander away the opportunity to learn every colour in the varying pigmentation between the peripheral and ciliary zones of his iris, to note exactly where the two freckles in his eye lay. They were precious, and gorgeous and as deep as the ocean, and I wanted to spend my life swimming in them.

The evening came to a close much too quickly. Edward didn't speak but to give a monosyllabic reply to a direct question, but he was otherwise engaged in the conversation. Emmett and Rose fabricated a story about their date night, then Esme and Emmett bantered about the viability of a vegetable garden while Rose and Carlisle talked cars. Edward fell right in with me, usually the natural observer when it came to normal conversations in the Cullen home.

I had always been content to just listen to their familial banter, but now I was distracted, enamoured with the way Edward's lashes framed his eyes, how each one was a different length and varying shade, how the collarette in his iris was different between each unique leaf of his eye. I felt a dull ache in my chest, and a soft grumbling sound erupt from it, thankfully inaudible to Edward's ear. My emotions were uncontrollable; it was impossible not to conceal my unlimited adoration for my stunning mate.

Once I began making the noise, Carlisle decided to end our night there.

"It's getting rather late," he mentioned, staring pointedly at me. I suppressed the noise, swallowing and drowning it with the burning venom. I couldn't wait to regurgitate the food, it was making me feel heavy and bloated, not exactly the comely style I wanted to have for my mate.

"Th-th-thank you s-so much f-for d-dinner," Edward said shyly from the door, staring at the ground and pulling at his sleeve. Esme had none of it, and pulled him into a delicate and fleeting hug, trying to convey the extent of the motherly love she already held for my mate. He definitely didn't understand the weight of it yet, but he was blushing bashfully, and I wanted to hug him too.

Carlisle waved from the hallways, and Emmett yelled his goodbyes from the couch.

"It was very nice spending time with you, Edward," Rose said from next to Carlisle, "We'll see you Monday?"

Edward nodded in reply, and I pulled him to the car, using any excuse possible to wrap my fingers through his and he close to him. Every time we touched, I felt electrified and warmed, more human than I had felt since being turned. I felt like a girl again, giddy and excited with the prospect of my first love being my only love, of spending an eternity with a beautiful boy. I wanted to skip and dance around in his arms to the music he would compose.

And being in a car didn't stifle my fantasies, but exacerbated them. A tight, enclosed space with the blanket scent of Edward's intoxicating blood, rushing under my palm as we joined hands again once I pulled onto the highway. I wanted to pull off the road and have my dirty way with him, wanted to complete our bond and sink my teeth into his soft, yielding skin.

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward turning down the stereo, Led Zeppelin melancholically strumming over the radio.

"I really l-like your f-family," he said, squeezing my hand softly. I wondered if he felt how hard and cold my skin was, if he understood that it meant I was just an animated corpse. Of course he didn't.

"I'm glad you had a nice time. I was a little worried it would be too much too fast," I confessed.

His brows knitted together in confusion, and he moved his gaze from the rushing green outside the window to my face.

"Wh-wh-what d-do you m-mean?" His blood was rushing a little faster, but nothing abnormal.

"Well, honestly, most girls don't bring home the boy they like so quickly," I could have sworn I was blushing, my face felt hot, and I couldn't meet his piercing stare. I just fake-concentrated on the rushing road in front of me, nearing the home of Chief Swan.

"S-stop d-doing th-that," Edward said angrily, scratching at his wrist roughly once he pulled his hand from mine. I immediately felt the loss, felt a little emptier inside again.

"Doing what, Edward. What am I doing?" I cried, frustrated with the lack of outlet I had for all of these pent up feelings I had to bottle until the time would be right.

"M-making f-f-f-f-fun of m-me," he whispered, and I smelled salt in the air. I finally looked over and saw a glisten of water fall from Edward's gorgeous face. I had made him _cry_. My sweet sensitive mate was crying and it was entirely my fault. I pulled into the driveway and turned to face him, pulling both of his hands into mine, forcing him to face me.

"I am _not_ making fun of you, Edward," I said as he sniffles a little, pulling his delectable bottom lip into his mouth. I wanted to lean forward and track the trail of his tears with my lips, down to his mouth, and kiss away the pain he felt. He was completely consuming me from the inside out, how could he not see that.

I took and deep breath, working up my courage.

And that was the first time I asked a boy on a date.

 **What was it like when you met your first love's family?**


	5. Complications

**It seems no one is reading this…**

 **Hazey by Glass Animals**

 **House of Balloons/ Glass Table Girls by The Weeknd**

"Edward, would you go out with me sometime?" I used the colloquial phrase often used by Mike Newton and his friends; it couldn't possibly be misconstrued. I smiled widely at my boy, the joy at the prospect of truly being in a relationship with him bubbling up. I waited for him to return my smile, for him to say yes and fall into my arms, but he yanked his hands out of mine.

His jaw was clenched and his face had turned a dangerous red. His blood was pulsing, filling the car with its furious rhythm, I watched as his jugular throbbed in his throat, calling for me to mark him. It was so distracting I didn't even notice him reach for the handle to the car until the slap of the cold wind cleared the air and my head.

"What are you doing?" I called, jumping out of the truck to follow his dash to the front door, either running from the rain or away from me.

"W-what are y-y-y-you d-doing," He said harshly from a clenched jaw, not even turning around to face me, but still standing under the pouring sky. He was getting soaked, and I worried for his health in this cold rain. I wished I could bundle him up and run him home and sit with him next to our fire place, discussing Renaissance artists and eating cake until the sun came up.

"I like you, Edward," I downplayed the terrifying extent of my adoration, "I just want to go on a date with you."

He glared at me from beneath his wet lashes, his hair turning dark with his eyes as the rain soaked him. His fists clenched, and I yearned to close the distance between us and kiss away his anger until he couldn't help but love me back.

"Y-you d-don't like me. You d-don't even k-know me!" He exclaimed, and I realized that to him, this was true. To humans, one couldn't be in love unless one knew all of the trivial details like someone's favourite colour or their first grade teacher's name. But I knew the content of his character, I was in love with how sweet and intelligent he was, how he could surprise even me. I noticed Alice peeking at us through her bedroom window, a silent observer, reminding me that we were no longer alone.

"That's the point of a date. To get to know someone," I said delicately, walking slowly towards him. His broad shoulders were so tense, and he still looked unbelievably angry. Anger, could deal with; nervousness or anxiety was a little more complex. But now I could smell that familiar scent of salt in the rain, and I saw the glistening in Edward's emerald eyes. He squeezed them shut and turned around again, facing away from me.

"Y-y-you don't w-want to kn-know m-me," he whispered before running out of the rain and into the house. I was still standing in the driveway, the truck running, completely appalled. Had I done something during the wonderful day we had to make him think I was less than completely interested in him? Surely not.

I climbed into the cab of the truck slowly, soaking the leather seats in my own dampness. I didn't know what had happened. His heart was still pounding from inside, and I heard him enter the downstairs bedroom and close the door gently, the lock clicking in place. If I focused, I could hear his teeth grinding together and the tears dripping down his cheeks. My dead heart was shattering and bleeding venom into my chest as I drove away from him, back home to drop off the car before I could return to him.

I didn't even go inside to thank my family for the evening or to tell them all how I had fucked everything up in a matter of minutes. I fled back to the Chief's home, running as fast as my legs would allow, cracking through a tree when I didn't bother to sidestep around it.

I smelled his blood in the air, not even desirable when it was laced with cortisol and the air was still heavy with tears. He was sitting on his bed in a t-shirt and underwear, blood pooling on his left arm as he viciously scratched at another scab. I was silently crying with him, pretending that the rain on my face were the tears that would provide some relief from the painful pressure I felt in my chest.

"So stupid," he mumbled to himself, wiping at the massive amount of blood on his arm. It dripped onto the wooden floor, and he stepped on it and nearly slipped when he stood. I almost jumped through the window.

He picked up a box of tissues and wiped the blood off his arm carelessly, but vigorously wiped down the floor until it was spotless to the human eye. He was still crying, but the sobs that had ripped through his chest had subsided, and it seemed like he could breathe through his nose again.

He didn't even clean the scratches on his arms, just threw a sweatshirt on and picked up his pillow and blanket to go to Alice. I hoped she could comfort him while I could not, while I was relegated to staring at him from outside his window like some kind of obsessed stalker instead of proudly at his side as his mate.

I couldn't keep my mind off of all of the marks on his arms. They were small, maybe only an inch in length, but they all had that whiteness and skin stretching appearance of a burn. I wondered how long he could have been doing this for there to be so many of varying freshness; it was something Carlisle would have known with just a glance.

He shuffled past Charlie, who was quietly snoring on the couch with a football game on the television and an empty beer in his hand, and dragged his feet up the stairs.

It was the first time since I had watched him that Alice was still awake when Edward went upstairs, and I was hoping that my new friend would initiate some kind of conversation to clue me in to what happened in their driveway. And she didn't disappoint.

"What happened, Edward?" Alice asked as he collapsed on the floor next to her bed, curling on his side to face her.

"Didn't you _see_ ," he whispered harshly, holding his hand out for her to grasp. I wondered how Edward could have possibly seen Alice watching us from upstairs from his vantage point and with his weaker human eyes.

"Not really. Nothing clear," Alice shook her head, and I saw her squeeze his hand tighter when she rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

"Sh-she can't want me. N-no one c-can. V-V-V-V-Victoria said," the tears were stirring again.

"You need to go to therapy," Alice said quietly, and I saw that she was crying, too, "We both do."

Wise girl, I completely agreed. If Edward didn't want me, couldn't trust me, he had to talk to a professional about whatever had happened to him that made him so delicate, that spurned on the self-harm.

"Who's g-gonna pay for that? Charlie?" His voice was still angry, and his body tense, but his tears had subsided. Alice's hadn't.

"The state would," her voice was small, and Edward laughed darkly.

"N-no they w-wouldn't. Th-they didn't even do anything a-about V-V-V-Victoria and J-J-James." At least now I had names, granted first names, but I had all the time in the world to find these people that had done such incredible harm to my sweet mate that he didn't even want to go out on a date with me, that led him to hurt and scar his beautiful body. I wanted to make these faceless strangers hurt the way my Edward did, I wanted them to be tortured until they couldn't stand it anymore, and then be tortured some more. The venom was flowing freely, and I could tell my eyes had turned pitch black with my anger.

Alice remained silent at that, but didn't fall asleep. Neither of them did, they just laid there and held hands until the early hours of the morning, when exhaustion took them. I didn't even slip through the window like I normally did; I wasn't sure if I could stand the smell of tears and blood while laying in such close proximity to Edward without holding him to me and just complete our bond right then and there. It would free him from his pain, but it also meant he would be trapped in a state similar to what he was experiencing now, the way Rose had been. It was turning out to be a good thing that I would have to wait so long, that Edward would have two full years at least to be helped out of the pit he was in.

I ran home when the sun started rising, like I always did. I was formulating a plan to understand Edward. I wasn't sure if he would need space, need time away from me to think about things the way humans so often did. I didn't have anyone I could ask; I didn't really want to tell anyone in my family about how I was rejected in Charlie Swan's driveway, and I certainly didn't want to tell anyone of Edward's self-harm. That was too personal for me to disclose without permission, even if I was incredibly concerned by the habit.

I tore through the house quickly, showering and changing as fast as I could. Rose emerged from her room as I was on my way out, reaching out to me. I shook my head and continued into the forest. It was still in the earlier morning, but the Chief's house was awake. Charlie Swan and Alice were eating breakfast, Alice chatting politely about going fishing with him. Edward was still sleeping deeply in Alice's room from what I could tell from his heart beat- strong and slow and my life line.

I faded back into the forest and ran east, leaving behind my life line to rest and hopefully collect his thoughts before I returned.

The day was cloudy, but not rainy, but I couldn't drift off while staring at the sky like usual. I just found two deer and carefully fed as to not soil my clothes. It was quick and unfulfilling, but it did the trick and the burn in my throat subsided.

I ran back with purpose, dodging trees and branches and mud carefully.

Alice and Chief Swan were gone when I arrived, and Edward was awake but still laying down. I climbed up the strong pine that grew next to the house, right up near the bedroom window.

He had his eyes closed, his face was serene and soft. If it wasn't for his pulse, I would have thought he was still fast asleep.

"Not true. V-V-V-Victoria wrong. W-worth it," he sounded like he was chanting affirmations while meditating, his face still blank and his heart beat still soft and strong.

He had bruises under his eyes from exhaustion, and his full lips were slightly cracked and lined in a white sheen. Between the tears and the blood, he must have gotten slightly dehydrated.

He rose after several more minutes of just laying on the floor, and started his day. I heard as he brushed his teeth and showered in the upstairs bathroom, heard the mesmerising sound of the towel against his smooth skin.

I was picturing my Edward, showered and gorgeous, standing in the bathroom and rubbing the towel all over his body, when the bathroom door opened and Edward walked into Alice's room with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

I was mesmerised and horrified and turned on all at once. He was only in the room for a moment, leaning down to grab his pillow and blanket before padding downstairs, but I didn't need any longer to see it all.

His torso was littered with scars- scratches and circular burns on top of the marks on his inner arms. His body was lean but defined, and I saw myself kneeling in front of him, kissing away the pain caused by the scars of his abuse and worshipping his body like it deserved to be.

I filed away the beauty of his body for my late night fantasies and jumped off the tree to the ground. I had heard Edward dress in his little bedroom while I was still entertaining my fantasy, and he was moving around the kitchen, clanking dishes around as he cooked. At least he wasn't just eating cereal.

I watched as he sat down to a plate of eggs and toast and a worn book I wasn't familiar with- _In the Cipher: Basquiat and Hip Hop Culture_.

When he was finished with his meal, he just shuffled across the hall and lounged in the couch, never tearing his emerald eyes away from the engrossing novel I deduced was about Jean-Michel Basquiat. By how well-read the novel was, I wondered if he was Edward's actual favourite artist, not Michelangelo. That would have been a relief.

I decided then would be a good time to knock on the front door and get him to talk to me. I smoothed my blouse down and shook the remaining debris from my hair, pulling it into a ponytail. I probably looked a little wind blown and wild, but at least I was well fed and no longer had the dark circles under my eyes that can from a few weeks of not feeding.

I rapped on the door and heard him jump to his feet, letting the book slip to the floor as he shuffled to the door. He didn't even look very surprised to see me, but his jaw clenched and his heart rate picked up. He stood in the doorway, looking at me expectantly, not allowing me to come inside.

"Edward, please, we need to talk," I begged, stepping a foot closer towards him. He sighed deeply, but stepped aside, motioning for me to come in.

He led me to the couch, and I leaned down to pick up his discarded book. I flipped through it as Edward stood over me, too uncomfortable to sit next to me, seemingly unsure of himself in his own home.

"Water?" He offered quietly, breaking the silence. I shook my head and patted the cushion next to the one I was seated on. I normally would have taken a tea, something to warm my hands, but my coldness didn't seem to bother him anyways.

"Why won't you go out with me?" I got straight to the point, no need for mindless small talk between mates. I needed to hear his side directed at me, not just a fractured conversation between he and Alice that I shouldn't have even heard.

He looked down at his hands as he sunk next to me, playing with his sweater sleeves.

"B-because I d-don't underst-stand w-why," he confessed quietly. I leaned towards him, placing my hand on the area of couch directly next to his thigh. The warmth was radiating and intoxicating.

"Can you tell me what you mean?" I had gotten a master's in psychiatry a few decades prior, but the education was still valuable, especially when it came to talking to my mate it seemed.

"L-look a-a-at me," he said, blushing as he kept his eyes averted.

"I am," I said honestly, never able to tear my gaze away from him, and he looked up at me in surprise.

"I've _never_ felt like this before."

"I'm b-broken," he whispered.

"How?" Was it this James and Victoria, or something else entirely?

"N-no one i-is sup-p-posed to l-like me."

"Why?" I was breathing deeply, trying to stay calm and be what Edward needed, but I knew the worry was still seeping into my voice.

"I'm n-not r-r-ready," his face was flushed, but I nodded and placed my hands over his, twisting our fingers together so he would turn and face me.

"That's okay. But can I tell you why I like you?" I couldn't let him know the extent of my feelings, not yet, but I couldn't leave him head thinking that I thought of him the way he saw himself.

He blushed, but now I was touching him, holding both of his hands in mine, and I was falling into his emerald stare.

"You're incredibly smart. I mean, look, you're reading a book on Jean-Michel Basquiat that you've probably read a million times," I waved our hands towards the book that was sitting on the table, "And you can always surprise me with your perspicacity, like the way you knew about _David_ and Michelangelo. And on top of that, I think you're terribly interesting and, well, attractive." His face was slap-red, but his eyes held hope and his full lips were upturned. I couldn't stop my body from leaning towards him even if I wanted to, but he didn't seem to mind.

I could feel his electrifying heat on every inch of my skin; I let his heavy breaths wash over me. His breathing was slightly erratic and his heart was palpitating unevenly, but he just sat there and closed his gorgeous green eyes and I continued to lean in.

My lips met his, all soft and yielding and completely delectable. I felt like I was on fire, like I was changing all over again. The full ache that always seemed to be a constant presence snapped like a tight band, and I felt like I was flying.

It only lasted a few moments before I pulled back. I didn't want to push him too far if that wasn't what he wanted too. He had never specifically said he was at all attracted to me in any way.

But he was smiling softly, and when he opened his eyes, all soft lashes framing unimaginable depth, he looked happy for the first time since I had met him. His breathing was still erratic, and his heart had been beating all over the place. I was worried that he had developed some kind of fibrillation, or that he was going to pass out due to lack of oxygen.

"Ask me again," he gasped, breaking the silence we had held since I kissed him. My heart swelled.

And that was the first time a boy said yes to me.

 **I know it's shorter. Sorry :/**

 **Who was your first kiss?**


	6. The Angel

**I know it's only 11 pages, I'm sorry. I feel like a desperate and needy child, but please review if you liked the story. Or if you didn't like it. I write to read your words.**

 **Cecilia and the Satellite by Andrew McMahon and the Wilderness**

 **Drain You by Nirvana**

"Will you go out with me, Edward?" I asked, falling into the ocean of his verdant eyes. It seemed like such a simple, mundane question, but it felt like my entire existence depended on its answer.

"Okay," he was smiling shyly up at me through his lashes like the sweet boy I knew him to be. I leaned back towards him, I couldn't not kiss him in a moment like this.

I could feel his pulse pick up from beneath his lips, a rushing river of life. My eyes were closed; I was intent on just absorbing finally being connected to my mate.

I opened my eyes, my lips mouth still moving on his still one. His eyes were clenched shut and he wasn't breathing. His posture had made a complete 180 from relaxed and content to stiff and still. Could he not feel the intense connection we shared? I pulled back and squeezed his hands softly, trying to get him to open his eyes and talk to me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, his eyes still closed and breaths now shallow and shaky. The sun was shining dimly in the house, but the couch was thankfully in the shadows. I didn't know how I would be able to leave the house unless clouds obscured the sky.

"I'll g-get better," his voice was breaking, and he looked like he was about to cry. I wanted to kiss his cheeks and wrap him in a hug, I wanted to take away all of his pain.

"I don't think that's possible," I replied, smiling weakly as he opened his eyes and looked at me, skin flushed.

"N-no one has ever k-k-k-kissed me like that." I wondered who he had been kissing that that made him feel like anything less than the god he was. I wondered who had dared kiss my mate.

"I've never kissed anyone like that," I said honestly. I hadn't kissed anyone since I had joined Carlisle, and even that was a desperate attempt at filling the void that had been present in my heart since I had been created. A void that was filled the moment I saw my bronze haired boy from across the cafeteria.

He looked at me incredulously, brow quirking up and the corner of his full lips turning down. I had just been kissing those lips, it was almost unbelievable. He exhaled heavily from his nose and turned his eyes away from me, staring at the black television. He looked like he was deep in thought, like he was contemplating something. I knew that humans needed time to process just about everything, so I sat perfectly still on the couch next to him, keeping my breaths silent and my eyes trained on his beautiful face.

"W-we had f-f-foster par-parents who would c-come into our r-rooms at n-night and k-k-kiss us and t-t-t-touch us. When w-we were y-y-younger," he didn't look angry, or uncomfortable, but his eyes were sad and back was bunched and he slouched down into the couch. Our hands were still intertwined, a constant and necessary connection to my mate, but he wasn't looking right at me.

My heart was breaking. That primal need to avenge my mate bubbled up, I could hear my own chest rumbling in anger. But he didn't need someone to avenge him, he needed someone to be there for him now. _Be what he needs_ , I chanted to myself, forcing my hands to stay loose around his and my expression to remain calm.

I was at a loss for words, so I just nodded at him. I was entertaining thoughts of snapping the necks of these foster parents after long torture sessions, I could see in my mind's eyes a young Edward being held down and abused by these monsters. I had seen carnage and war in my long existence, but this thought was a true horror. It made me want to gag and at even the thought of it.

"We all have a past," I tried to say something Carlisle would, to sound understanding and wise. I didn't exactly have a pleasant time in the few years leading up to my change, but it had never been anything even close to what Edward had experienced in his short life.

It seemed to be the right thing to say, because Edward squeezed my hand comfortingly and gave me a sad little smile once our eyes met. I wished I could tell him what I meant, tell him about when I was human, but nothing would line up to our human stories of being adopted by the Cullen's. I couldn't lie to him any more than absolutely necessary, and I would apologise for my lies the minute he knew of my true nature.

We sat comfortably together on the couch, the clouds finally covering the sun, leaving a dim light in the sky as the afternoon approached. I began to smell the sugar in his blood dropping and his stomach gurgling hungrily.

"Can I make us lunch?" I asked, pulling him up off the couch with me as I rose. The iron in his blood was still low and he had looked malnourished to my sensitive eyes since the moment I saw him. He shrugged but led me into their little kitchen by the hand. I never wanted to let him go, but perhaps it would be strange to him if I cooked with only one hand free.

Our hands pulled away and I rifled through the refrigerator, holding my breath so I wouldn't have to smell the mix of all of the foods in such a concentrated position. There weren't many greens or fruits, mainly just filets of fish and sodas. Nothing healthy enough to go into the body of my mate, nothing that would really aid in his development except perhaps the fish, which looked a bit old for me.

I closed the refrigerator and turned towards Edward, who was standing behind me with his hands shoved in the pockets of his blue jeans. His face was flushed red and he was shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Would you rather get lunch? There's not much in there," I offered. Even going to Pacific Pizza and eating the empty carbs would be better than eating questionable fish and a rotten stem of broccoli. Alice seemed to like shopping immensely, I wondered if she would be interested in going grocery shopping with me so their refrigerator would be stocked.

Edward nodded, his face still pink, and crossed the hallway to get a jacket and shoes from his room. I wondered what had made him so uncomfortable and embarrassed; it wasn't like it was his fault that the refrigerator was empty, not like that was anything to be embarrassed about in the first place.

He helped me with my superfluous jacket in the foyer, opened both the front and car door for me, and held my hand as I drove us to Pacific Pizza, seemingly over his blushing episode in the kitchen. But his heart rate picked up as i pulled into the semi-crowded parking lot, and he started bouncing his left leg and tapping his pointer finger on my hand. I wasn't even sure he noticed his own jitteriness. I saw Tyler standing outside, but I thankfully didn't see or smell Jessica or Lauren anywhere near us. I didn't need to deal with their cattiness now that I finally had Edward, and he and Alice could fill the human-friend role in my life instead of Jessica and Lauren.

I didn't turn the engine off, but turned to face Edward. He didn't return the body language, he wasn't even looking at me, but at Tyler standing outside.

"We can go somewhere else," I offered. The only reason I picked this place was because it seemed they had good food from the frequency Forks students went there, but by the pace of Edward's heart, that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

His heart was still pounding, but he pulled his brows together and clenched his jaw angrily. I knew I shouldn't feel this way, but his anger was... SEXY. His jawline was so much more defined when he did that, and I felt the urge to slide towards him in the cab of the car and lick his threat. And maybe it would progress, he would like it, and I would whisk him out of the car to sink my teeth into his throats and complete our mating bond.

He pulled his hand away and moved to open the door, pulling me out of my unrealistic fantasy. The air hit me when I opened my own car down, easing the bloodlust and halting the rush of venom that came with my little slip up. Edward was waiting for me at the front of the car, willingly holding his hand out for me to take. His hand felt clammy in a cold sweat, and his heart rate was still too high for my liking, but his expression held no evidence whatsoever that he was nervous or uncomfortable; he wasn't even trying to scratch at his arm from under his grey sweater.

Tyler looked up from his phone as we approached slowly; I was matching Edward's reluctant gait. An astonished grin passed over his stupid face, and he opened his big mouth to say something stupid. I kept my growl in my chest, but I glared at him in warning. The smile left his face but his mouth stayed open as his heart pounded and the adrenaline entered his disgustingly undesirable blood stream. He looked like he wanted to run away screaming, but his feet stayed anchored to his place outside the door. He averted his muddy brown eyes as we walked through the door, Edward holding it open for me to walk through, our hands staying laced together. Now that I had experienced the contact, I wasn't sure if I could survive without holding onto Edward.

My nose crinkled in disgust at the smell of the melting cheese and cooking meat, but I led Edward towards the line to order. He was tapping his finger against my hand again as we stood in line. His throat was completely exposed as he looked up to the menu above the counter, and I forced myself to focus on the scent of the pizza to curb the flow of venom that came from looking at his pounding jugular sitting next to his pronounced Adam's apple.

"What can I get for you?" Ashley Dowling was staring at the computer screen, her sandy blonde hair falling in front of her eyes and obscuring her face. She sounded completely bored, but her eyes widened as she looked up at us.

"A p-pizza s-s-sandwich and a d-drink, p-pl-please," Edward said softly through clenched teeth, keeping his gorgeous green eyes cast down at his feet. I squeezed his hand carefully, moving to pull my wallet out of my pocket with my empty left hand.

"I'll have a cup of chilli and the spinach salad," I said kindly, drawing Ashley to look at me. I could put her at ease by looking at her, a much more successful approach than the terror I inflicted on Tyler. She put our order in slowly, her eyes never really leaving mine as I tried my best to keep her calm. I handed her my credit card before Edward could even say anything, and I broke my connection with Ashley once she gave me my receipt.

I pulled Edward to a small, sticky table in the back of the restaurant, listening for our order number to be called. I would get Edward to eat some of my salad and would take the rest home as leftovers for whomever would eat it. His jaw was tense but his eyes were smiling as he looked at me through his thick lashes.

"I didn't r-realise you c-could d-d-dazzle girls, too," he mumbled, seemingly fighting a grin through grinding teeth. I had no idea what he was talking about, much less what made it so funny, and his lips upturned when I made my confusion apparent.

"You d-d-dazzled th-that girl," his shy grin was infectious, and I smiled back at him.

"Do I dazzle you?" I asked. If I had that affect on my Edward, that would be all that mattered. He certainly had that affect on me, especially when he was flushed and smiling at me, his eyes molten pools of emerald that I could easily fall into. He looked down and nodded shyly, sweetly, and I smiled wider at him.

We were in our own little bubble in the dimly lit corner of this bustling pizza joint. My mind was so consumed with Edward that I barely even heard a pimply teen yell our order number from the counter.

I pulled my hand away to grab our trays, leaving Edward at the table looking, well, _dazzled_. I was still smiling when I claimed our order, and teen's heart started pounding unevenly when he saw my teeth. I closed my mouth but couldn't stop grinning, returning with our steaming food and probably looking like a fool.

Edward gobbled up his pizza sandwich, and ate half of the salad when I pushed it towards him. I didn't even bother to put any of the food in my mouth, and Edward was so engrossed with his eating that he didn't even seem to notice.

I heard familiar heart beats pull through the parking lot- Jess, Lauren, and Mike in Mike's Suburban. I sighed, relieved that Edward was done eating, and grabbed his hand and the covered cup of soup. He understood the cue and stacked the trays to carry them to the garbage, setting it in the dirty tray tray on top of the can. The smell was beginning to get so overwhelmingly disgusting, especially near the garbage, that I was actually knowingly focusing on Edward's blood to distract from the food.

I squeezed his hand comfortingly before we made it out the door, whispering, "Don't worry," as I passed by him. Jess, Mike, Lauren, and Tyler were all still standing outside, but Tyler had yet to say he had seen us walk in, together. I had scared him. I felt a swell of pride in protecting my mate, even if it wasn't a physical or particularly dangerous threat.

I led him to the car quickly; there was no way around them seeing us. They began whispering fiercely, I could hear them clearly and the growl began to build, even as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"They're holding hands!"

"Are they dating?"

"That's just disgusting."

"They're basically different species," that one was Mike, and little did he know how right he was. We were genetically different species, Carlisle and I had determined once the technology was available that vampires had two extra chromosomes.

"Are y-you okay?" Edward broke the silence with a quiet question, and I didn't even realise I was clenching the steering wheel with one hand and gripping his hand with the other. My sweet boy, more concerned about me than the bullies who I once called friends. I sighed, letting the tension leave my body, and turned to smile at him, squeezing his hand again.

"You're wonderful," I replied honestly. His heart was pumping loudly, bringing excess blood to colour his lovely face. He didn't say anything, but our silence was content as I sped down the wet streets of Forks to bring Edward home.

Charlie and Alice were still out in this early, cloudy afternoon, and I followed Edward inside, unwilling to let him go if I didn't have to. He sat on the couch and watched me as I walked through the room, inspecting the few pictures Charlie had, and the massive entertainment system he had.

"Emmett would love this. It's almost as big as his!" I told Edward, turning to look at his beautiful, smiling face. He nodded and reached his hand out to me. Even when we were close, he could feel the emptiness that our connection left if we weren't touching. I knew his feelings would never come close to rivalling my own unless he was a vampire, but it was still comforting to know that he could feel even a fraction of it.

I sat on the couch and cuddled into his side. He was so tall and long limbed that he made me feel dainty and feminine, even here, lounging on the couch and folded under his warm arms.

"Tell me a-about your ch-childhood?" Edward asked, looking down at me. I admired the view of his jaw from below; and the strength of his angular face and crooked yet straight nose.

"Well, I was the oldest of six children," I said truthfully, relaxing into him. His right arm was wrapped around my shoulder, and his left hand was toying with my fingers. "I was my parents' favourite. My sister Beatrice and I were very close. She was only a year younger than me." I hurt to think of Beatrice, as if she wasn't always on my mind anyways. She was the reason why I felt so close to Rose so quickly; they were so wonderfully alike. I couldn't say anymore without outright lying to him, and he seemed to understand.

"Alice is y-younger than m-me," his fingers were stroking my upper arm, leaving a trail of fire, "Only by f-fifteen minutes, th-though." He added. Logically, I knew they must have been twins, but I didn't really know.

"You two look so _different_ ," I commented. They really did. Alice had that black hair and pale skin in juxtaposition to Edward's coppery hair and darker complexion.

"She t-takes after our f-f-f-father. We have our m-m-m-mother's eyes," he looked sad, and I leaned up towards him, ecstatic that we were comfortable enough together that I could kiss away his melancholy.

The electricity in the air was palpable as our lips met, his heat warming me immediately. I heard the police cruiser pull into the driveway with Alice and the chief inside, but I didn't want to pull away from our languid but chaste kiss. It seemed that Edward didn't even hear them walk in the door, because he jumped when Alice skipped into the room, smiling at us maniacally.

"Well, don't you two look cozy," Alice laughed. Edward's heart was pounding, so I pulled away to give him space. Alice danced her way around the couch and plopped right down, in between Edward and I. She was dressed in a fabulously fashionable camouflage outfit and smelled of fish, and she was immediately comfortable in the small space between us, leaning her head on my shoulder and smiling knowingly in Edward's direction. His face was beet red and his brows furrowed as he looked everywhere but in our direction.

"Hey, nice to see you again, Bella," Charlie said, poking his head into the living room. I turned on the couch, jostling Alice away from me in the process, to greet him.

"Hi Chief Swan! Good day fishing?"

"Please, Charlie," he reminded me, "and it would have been better if we didn't get rained out!" He exclaimed. Both he and Alice had damp hair, and I could smell the water on the coats they had deposited in the foyer. Funny, I was so consumed in Edward I literally didn't notice that it had been drizzling steadily.

"So what did you two get up to today?" Alice asked, now leaning against a stiff Edward. He reached up with his right hand and patted her spiky wet hair before reaching around her and taking my hand in his.

"Well, we went out to lunch, and talked for a while," I said finally.

"Awesome, I'm glad you made up," Alice nodded, her green eyes getting glassy and far away. She stood up quickly, shaking her head and blinking the dullness away.

"I better go help Charlie with the fish," she said. Not a moment later, Charlie called from the kitchen, "Alice, could you help me filet up the fish?" I was stunned. I had heard Charlie wrestling with the fish from the kitchen, heard the knife slicing around the cutting board, but there was no possible way Alice had heard that. I looked to Edward for explanation, but he just shrugged and got a far away look in his eyes.

We sat in that silence uncomfortably, leaving me wondering about Alice's sudden foresight. She had made predictions before, and they had always come true. I had never seen a power manifest so strongly in a human; she would make a terrific vampire if she would ever have been changed.

"I'm heading up to shower," Alice announced as she danced to the stairs, "Are you staying for dinner, Bella?"

"No, thank you, Alice," I called to her as she pranced up the stairs, not even registering she heard my response. I couldn't fake eat around three observant humans, and I really didn't want to eat if it wasn't necessary.

"I'll see you in the morning?" I asked Edward, still sitting with him on the couch and holding his hand, unwilling to leave him. He nodded tightly and made no move to let go of my hand or get up and walk me to the door, not meeting my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, leaning into him tenderly. We had had such a wonderful but exhausting and stressful day; I wasn't sure if he had been pushed too hard.

"Are we d-d-dating?" Edward blurted out, face pink, brows furrowed, and gorgeous green eyes concerned as he faced me. He was such a sweet and adorable boy, I wanted to kiss him and never stop. So I did push into him and kiss him again. I drew away after a few moments, leaving him looking dazzled and well-kissed.

"Does that answer your question?" I smiled, our afternoon full of questions. He looked all shy, but nodded and pulled me to my feet to walk me out.

I was in a daze the rest of the night, thinking of Edward's lips and his dark past and waiting to jump through the window and lay next to my mate. His sleep was unusually restful, and in the early morning, as I was heading out the window to race the rising sun, Edward spoke.

He was in R.E.M. sleep, his eyelids fluttering and all. And he said my name. It was just once, but his voice was so clear and tender and _loving_.

"Oh, Edward," I whispered, moving across the room to softly caress his cheek. My dead heart swelled, and I gazed down at him adoringly. In that moment, I knew that no matter his past, or mine, we could get through anything.

I ran home to get dressed to join the Masens for breakfast. I could barely wait to leave, but Rose appeared in my doorway as I was changing, and I realised I had been neglecting my beloved sister.

"We kissed!" I squealed, not able to contain my joy and excitement. Rose grinned back at me and ran into a hug, causing a loud cracking noise to sound as our bodies clashed in an embrace. Emmett appeared in doorway, his cheeks dimpled in happiness.

"Bella's finally getting some," he announced loudly to the rest of the house.

"Emmett," Rose cautioned, still holding me tightly in her arms. Just then, Esme walked up behind him and smacked him across the back of his head lightly. Emmett mocked outrage, but we all quickly erupted in laughter.

"I need to go or I'm going to be late," I said after several minutes of hugging Rose and giggling with my family. Rose let me go happily, and I raced through town, anxious to see my beautiful mate.

Alice was wearing those butterfly wings I had heard so much about when she opened the door and let me in. I sat next to Edward at the table in the kitchen, watching as he finished his bowl of cereal. He looked delectable in holey green sweater and baggy jeans, all sleepy and freshly showered.

He put his bowl in the sink and followed a skipping Alice out the door, grabbing the saran wrapped peanut butter sandwiches off the counter. Alice climbed in the backseat of my truck, seemingly knowing that Edward and I would want to sit next to each other and hold hands.

And we did. He clutched my hands and tapped his pointer finger against my knuckle nervously, his leg started bouncing when we pulled into the parking lot. We got there just as everyone else was arriving, and all eyes were on us.

Edward was still sitting in the cab of the truck when I got out; Alice had already danced away and fell in step next to Emmett and Rose. They had never spoken to each other, but she looked completely comfortable dwarfed beside Emmett's hulking figure.

I opened Edward's door for him and held out my hand for him to take. We could do this; we could face this school on together. His jaw was clenched and his face was drawn, just as it was when we walked into Pacific Pizza the day before. But his cheeks were a pale pink, his eyes were darting around the parking lot anxiously, and his finger was still doing that nervous tapping on my hand.

There was angry chatter all around us, too quiet for Edward to hear, though he did appear to know the general gist of their conversations. I had never been so angry with human children before in my entire existence, a steady growl erupting from my chest.

And that was the first time I confronted bullies.

 **I did say this was OOC and AU, right? I can't wait for everyone to hear Bella's background! It's completely out of canon, but I think it's really interesting, and gives her a certain complexity. Besides, she can't exactly come from early 20** **th** **century Chicago, can she. That's Twilight's Edward's story.**


	7. Confrontations

**Hi everyone, I'm back** **!**

 **Genius- LSD**

 **Nocturnes, Op. 9: No. 1 in B-Flat Minor- Frederic Chopin**

The venom was pooling in my mouth as I unwrapped my hand from Edward's warm one and walked towards the small group of teenagers who I had previously called my friends. I could hear Edward's breath catch in his throat from behind me, but I was too focused on these pesky children who were causing my Edward even the slightest discomfort.

"Do you guys have a problem or something?" I asked, putting a hand on my hip and making deliberate eye contact with everyone. The only one who would meet my gaze was Angela, who I knew was not part of the snide comments and snickering coming from the group. Everyone was silent.

"I asked a question. Do you guys have a problem with that perfectly sweet boy over there? Did he run your mother over, or kill your cat or something?" I felt laser focused on them. The venom was flowing freely, and I could feel my eyes changing to pitch black. It was as if I was hunting, and they were my prey.

"There's no problem, Bella," Jessica whispered, her eyes cast down, fixed upon the ground. Her hands were stuffed in the pockets of her jacket, and she was rocking back and forth. I could smell the cortisol being secreted by her adrenal gland. In fact, the air was saturated with the fear hormone. I felt a rip in my chest, and there was something satisfying about scaring them away from Edward.

"If there's no problem, why are you all standing around talking about him?"

The only answer was six hearts rapidly beating. I felt my job done. I had scared the two biggest gossips in school, who would quickly spread around that Bella Cullen was not kidding around. They were all clearly scared of me, as nature intended, and would let everyone know that I could be just as intimidating as Emmett and Rosalie- if not more so.

Satisfied with my ability to behave according to my nature, I turned around to return to my beautiful Edward. He had looked so wonderful this morning in that green sweater that accentuated his viridescent eyes, I wanted to look at him all day long. For the rest of eternity.

He wasn't standing where I left him, though. I scanned the parking lot looking for that head of gorgeous bronze hair, but didn't see him anywhere, nor could I pick out his heartbeat in the throng of students making their way to homeroom.

If my heart was still functioning, it would have been pounding in my ears in this moment. I could only imagine what was happening. I had been so caught up in the moment that the unthinkable had happened- I had lost track of my mate. What if someone had kidnapped him somehow? Those awful people, Victoria and James, perhaps? Or maybe a human had taken him. What if he slipped and fell and cracked his head and was passed out somewhere?

I was so focused on trying to find Edward that it didn't even register that Alice had sidled up to me in the parking lot, looping her arm through mine and guiding me into the building. I just let her walk me into the bathroom while concentrating on hearts. I would have been searching, rushing from building to building and eventually into town and through streets, but Alice clearly had something to tell me. And in the short period we had known each other, I knew that Alice was someone who you listened to.

The bell rung the second we stepped into the restroom, and the rest of the girls in there filed out, headed to homeroom. Alice planted herself in front of me and placed her delicate little hands on my face, staring at me with eyes that reminded me of my beautiful Edward.

"Bella, breathe," She said. I hadn't realized, but I wasn't breathing at all, holding meaningless air in my dead lungs while I dedicated all my power into searching. I had never not known where Edward was at all times. I felt lost. Untethered. Alone, again.

"Do you know what happened?" Alice asked, never breaking eye contact, cradling my face with her warm hands. She didn't even seem kind of uncomfortable in such close quarters with me, not even when I wasn't even trying to be human.

"No," I rasped, my throat on fire with venom and fear. She let go of my head and turned around, wrapping her arms around herself. I studied her face in the bathroom mirror. She didn't look upset, but contemplative, trying to gather her thoughts.

"My brother is sensitive," Alice explained. I nodded, this was something I knew from the beginning. "He's also very intuitive. He knew what everyone was saying, thinking, even before this morning. And I'm not saying he was unbothered by it, but the judgement of some small town teenagers isn't something he's losing sleep over, if you know what I mean." She met my gaze in the mirror. Somehow, she knew that I had watched them sleep. Alice knew a lot more than she let on, I was sure.

"Where _is_ he, Alice?" I needed to know, before I ripped my hair out. She sighed and turned around.

"The second you walked away from him, he walked out of the parking lot. He's probably wandering the streets."

I turned almost inhumanly fast to get out of the bathroom and go find him.

"Bella, wait," Alice called. I turned again, impatient, to face the little fairy girl.

"Do you know why he left?" She asked. I did not, but I planned to find out from my mate himself.

"You embarrassed him," Alice called after me as I walked away from her. I scoffed, incredulous at the thought.

"What?"

"I know you're an expert on most things, but I'm an expert on my brother. He doesn't want attention. He doesn't want to be defended. He just wants to get through high school so he can move on with his life. And when you left him in the middle of the parking lot to go yell at some gossiping kids, he felt alone, he felt abandoned, and he felt embarrassed. What you did? It's just going to make people talk even more, put the spotlight on Edward even more. And that's the last thing he wants," Alice spoke so quickly she was out of breathe by the time she finished.

"I didn't mean-" Alice cut me off.

"I know. But when you go talk to him, keep what I said in mind. Going forward, keep what I said in mind. Now go," She gestured to the parking lot, towards Spartan Avenue, where Edward was likely walking, away from me.

I walked briskly out of the hallway and into the parking lot. I wasn't going to drive around looking for him, that would be too slow and cumbersome. Once I was sure that no one was looking at me, I darted into the woods surrounding the school and ran along the street, keeping my ears primed, searching for the heartbeat that was the sound of my life.

I heard it almost immediately. The thudding was like a sweet song, highlighting that my mate was alive, his lifeblood still rushing through his veins.

I expected to find him huddled under some tree, perhaps crying, his hands inside the sleeves of his sweater as they so often were when he was upset. Instead, he was walking briskly on the side of the road, his strong, square, lickable jaw set as his teeth ground together. He looked… sexy. He looked angry.

I made my way onto the street several yards behind him, almost relishing in his strong gait and surprisingly coordinated stomp away from school.

"Edward?" I called out softly, not wanting to startle him. He stopped dead in his tracks, but didn't turn around. His heart was already pounding, but I wasn't sure if it was from the exercise or an emotion.

"Edward, let me just say that I'm sorry. I should never have done that," I wanted to quickly explain myself before letting his anger at me build. Deep inside, though, I felt almost giddy. This was my first fight with my mate! An important milestone in every serious relationship, even Carlisle and Esme's, I was almost proud to have reached this with Edward.

"I don't know why I confronted Jess and Mike and them. I just got so angry, seeing everyone there, hearing them talk about us. You don't deserve that. And I wanted to put them in their place. But I know now that I should not have done that."

I heard him swallow and sigh, forking his strong, lithe hand through his gorgeous locks. I wanted to rake my hands through his hair and devour him.

"Okay," He whispered, voice cracking. He turned around and smiled in my general direction, but wouldn't make eye contact, and it felt like there was a chasm between us. I felt no relief at his acceptance. The whole thing was entirely anticlimactic.

When Esme and Carlisle had "creative discussions", there was always quick talking and slightly raised voices. When Rose and Emmett fought, there was always yelling and screaming and things being thrown. But when they made up, it was always joyous and there was an understanding between them, like they had learned from the experience and would always love each other.

This didn't feel like that. But it was far from my place to further prod Edward when our relationship was so new and we were in such a tender place. If he was saying "okay", I would be going with it.

"Do you want to go back to school?" I asked, secretly hoping he would say no. The place was basically useless, especially since I had alienated the humans I had once considered friends. And I thought, maybe, if I could spend time alone with Edward, he would eventually open up to me.

He nodded, though, and began walking back to school. I fell in step beside him, content to follow him to the ends of the earth. My Edward's heart beat at a steady rhythm, which was always a comfort, but his expression was blank and empty. He wasn't himself. I missed my mate, always so nervous and jittery. He was so _alive_.

Our walk was quiet. I was too nervous to say anything, lest it be wrong. It was a ridiculous situation. I was a powerful, gifted vampire who had been walking the earth for well over 500 years. And here I stumbled and fluttered about a teenage human who couldn't even confidently string together a sentence.

But he was so beautiful and magnificent and smart. I stared at him as we walked slowly back to the campus, crunching along the wet sidewalk. His hair was so multitoned I counted at least two dozen individual colors in there. His jaw was sharp and strong and masculine, his nose that of a Greek god.

And that was just his face. He was tall, with broad shoulders. Though underfed, I could see the strength in his arms, the definition in his calves as he walked.

My mate was so smart, too. He knew history, music, the classics, and could easily keep up with my vampire family. Not only that, he fit in with them seamlessly, like that was where he belonged. At my side, listening to my siblings bicker and my parents dote, I felt at home for the first time in my existence.

No, this was definitely right. I had never heard of a vampire finding a mate in a human, but who better to be the first than myself. I had never partaken in the quenching of bloodlust, my control had been excellent since I was changed. I had always remained close to humans, and my relationship with Carlisle just strengthened my bond with society.

This was destiny. I was confident that whatever problems we had could be worked out. Edward's personal problems, though, his trauma, would have to be worked on, perhaps professionally. A problem for another moment, though, as Edward had finally made eye contact.

"Why a-a-are y-you s-s-staring at m-me?" There was an edge in his voice, a tone I was unfamiliar with. Was it anger?

It didn't matter. I had vowed to be honest with him always, especially when asked a direct question. I would never lie to my mate about anything.

"I was just thinking about you," I answered. He shifted his gaze back to look at the pavement and simply nodded. But his expression was still empty. It was as if he had shut down. I fell quiet too. Maybe it would be better if we simply went to class and focused on our issues, and his issues, later.

School was quiet and the halls were empty as we walked up. Edward has his hands in the pockets of his sweater, and he was hunched over. He hadn't taken his eyes off the ground throughout the entire walk back. I escorted him to Building 5, where he had his math class.

He reached his hand out to the door, but I caught it in my hand. I could feel his pulse throughout my entire body, the warmth of his blood rushing, carrying oxygen and waste through his precious body. I didn't want to drink his blood, I wanted to _be_ it. I wanted to be inside him, to be with him at all times, keeping him alive. What psychotic thoughts I had since I found him.

"Edward," I whispered. He looked up, meeting my eyes. Instead of the blank, empty stare, he looked close to tears. I could see everything, his pain and his desperation. His verdant eyes were mesmerizing every time I looked into them, the most complex human eyes I had ever seen, deep and flecked with gold.

I squeezed his hand as softly as I could, as if touching a feather. After a moment of prolonged eye contact, Edward squeezed back, making my long-dead head jump and flutter. He dropped my hand, adjusted his bag over his shoulder, and walked into the classroom.

I stood outside Mr. Varner's room for a moment, listening to the teacher ask for an explanation for why Edward was late. I heard him shrug and just walk to his desk, dropping his bag and slouching in the chair.

I smiled to myself. No teacher would likely be able to get much out of him today. Or any day. He only seemed to be open around myself, my family, and his sister. I felt chosen, privileged to see the real Edward, who was sharp and witty.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself away from standing outside his room and made my way to Building 6, where my 2nd period Government class was. It was one that I had with Edward, but also with Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton. I was going to make sure they got my message this morning.

The bell rang just as I walked into the classroom, as expected. Our seats were assigned alphabetically, so Tyler sat directly in front of me, and Mike sat directly behind Edward in the back of the room.

For once in their life, Tyler and Mike were the first people in the room. The walked in laughing about a joke Mike had made about Jessica's incessant chatter sounding like a seagull from Finding Nemo, but the smiles were wiped from their faces the second they saw me. Tyler's hair stood on its end, and Mike's heartrate picked up.

It was exactly the reaction I had been hoping for. If they maintained their fear of me, I would never hear another word about my mate. I had made hundreds of human friends throughout the millennia, I would not miss the teenagers I met at Forks High School this time around. Maybe, 100 years from now, the new generation of Forks students would be less gossipy and cruel, but for now, I had no need for these people.

I had all I need in Edward.

Mike shuffled into his seat at the front of the room, his pulse still racing. The bell rang just as Edward slouched in, meeting my gaze for a fleeting moment as he focused on walking to his seat without tripping, as he was inclined to do.

It was as if the following minute happened in slow motion. I heard as one of the girls who sat two seats behind me slid her leg out. I turned my head as quickly as possible while still appearing human and watched as Edward's foot hooked under the girl's ankle.

He fell forward, landing on his knees, his bag swinging and books spilling out of them. His skin was flushed as he attempted to get up. But the giggles started.

The girl who had tripped him was laughing, and so followed the rest of the room.

My body began to tremble, and I felt a growl begin to rip through my chest. I stood up from my chair, feeling the venom pouring into my mouth.

This _child_ had dared to hurt my mate, humiliate him, in front of me. After my warning this morning, I was outraged that anyone would even attempt to cross me. And to do it in front of me, this was a direct insult.

She would be punished.

As I moved forward to get to the insolent child, I felt a hand wrap around my arm, pulling me back. The room had fallen silent.

It was Emmett, who had materialized behind me without my noticing. He gripped my arm tightly, so that I couldn't move to the girl, or to help Edward up.

He was still collecting his books on the ground, seemingly oblivious to the laughter and the tension around him. Mr. Jefferson, too, was at his desk grading papers, and hadn't even bothered to look up.

Emmett's grip on my arm tightened even more. He could easily rip my arm off in this room of children. I allowed him to pull me away from the girl, away from my Edward, who had picked up his books and stumbled into his seat.

He hadn't even looked in our direction, he just sat in his seat and stared at the desk. His hand snaked under the sleeve of his sweatshirt, and I heard the scratching as he began a new scar. It wouldn't be long before he drew blood.

Too quickly, though, I was pulled away from Edward and into the hallway. The venom was still flowing freely, and I had to swallow quickly to keep from basically foaming at the mouth.

Seconds after the door closed behind us, the snickering inside the room started again.

"What a freak," one of the stupid little boys said.

"Just like her boyfriend," laughed the girl who had started this whole incident. The laughing erupted, and I could hear Edward's heart pound in my ears, almost as loud as the sound of the venom pumping through my veins. Just then, Jefferson quieted the room to begin some asinine lecture on the US Constitution.

A growl ripped through my chest. The scent of my mate's blood wafted through the air, and I moved to go to him, to hold him and to kiss away his pain.

But Emmett wrapped his arms around my shoulders tightly, so tightly that there was even a slight tear in the tissue of my arm.

"Sorry," he grinned, "But we need to get out of here." He lifted me off the ground and carried me out the school, still hugging me.

I struggled. Everything within me was screaming to be with my mate. He was in pain, he was hurting, and I needed to be there. Every step further was a stab in my cold heart, so intense it felt like physical pain. Another growl ripped through my chest, an uncontrollable reaction to my helplessness. Even if I couldn't tear all of those insignificant children apart, limb from limb, I could at the very least wipe away the blood and tears.

Emmett carried me directly to the forest line and the moment we were under the cover of the dense green foliage, he ran, still holding me.

Emmett was far and away stronger than me. Amongst vampires, I was neither exceptionally strong nor fast, and Emmett was probably one of the strongest mature vampires in the world, rivalling Felix in the Volturi. There was nothing I could do to get away and run back to my mate.

Emmett ran and held on to me for a few more minutes, no longer gripping me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let him hug me, a comfort as I felt my heart rip out the further away we got.

We stopped at the house. I knew everyone would be inside, waiting to confront me over my indiscretions. Rosalie would yell, Esme would be compassionate and understanding, and Carlisle would give me a stern look and a logical lecture.

I just felt so exhausted. It had been one of the longest days in my existence. Edward and I fought and were on shaky ground, I almost killed an entire room of teenagers. Never had I wished so hard that I could just lay down and go to sleep.

I closed my eyes and imagined it. I would be laying down on my side in a soft bed, Edward's arm wrapped around me. The room would be quiet except for the sound of our hearts, beating as one. I could dream about our future together, growing old as if I were human. We would sit on rocking chairs on a front porch, our hair grey and laugh lines creasing our skin. Grandchildren would be running around, their bronze hair glistening in the sun and the sound of their laughter filling the air. It was a wish, a dream, a future that could never come true. Not for me, at least.

Emmett let me down in the driveway. He reached his hand out and clapped it on my shoulder, his eyes, as always, always smiling.

"Esme's inside," He said before running off. I was surprised. I had imagined Rose would be the first person here, ready to chew me out for almost exposing us. The few times that Emmett had slipped in the past, Rose had been so angry and frustrated that she went off by herself to Alaska for a few weeks, leaving Carlisle, Esme, and me to clean up the mess and move us to a new place. And that was her own mate.

I waited until I was sure Emmett was entirely out of earshot and went inside. Esme was sitting in the living room holding a cup of tea. She smiled at me, and I felt a little less tense and tired. Esme tended to have that effect on everyone she came in contact with. I went to sit in the loveseat adjacent to her place on the couch, and picked up my own cup of piping hot tea.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. I really didn't, but I knew that wasn't an option. I sighed and smelled the rich herbs of the tea.

"It's just been a very long, dramatic day," I said. Esme gave me a sad smile and nodded, prompting me to tell her all about it.

"Well, the morning was fine. It was more than fine, it was great. Edward and I held hands the entire drive to school, and he was so sweet and wonderful, just as it had been all weekend," I then told her about the gossiping, and going to confront my high school friends. Esme shook her head, her caramel tresses dropping from her bun.

"Bella, that was not the wisest choice you could have made," As maternal as she was, I was not exactly used to motherly talks with Esme. Being far older than anyone in my family, I considering Carlisle a confidant, and everyone else a very dear friend. Never had one of my personal decisions been criticized since we became a family. Though, I supposed, I had never made a rash decision or been so emotional ever before, so there was never anything to comment on.

Now, I was constantly doing things I never would have imagined, like sneaking into a house and watching a teenager sleep, or almost killing fifteen children because they were being cruel.

"I first met Carlisle when I was only sixteen. It's one of my only human memories that I can clearly remember," Esme sighed, a far off look in her golden eyes as she thought about meeting her mate. "When I fell out of that tree and broke my arm, I didn't need a mate or a love. I was too young, not ready for a mature relationship. I needed a doctor. So that's what Carlisle was. He knew who I was the second he saw me, but he treated me and let me go. Because that's what I needed."

Esme got up and sat down next to me in the loveseat, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and looking straight into my soul.

"Now, Bella, I'm not saying you should leave Edward alone, or let him go. I'm saying that you need to be what he needs, and do what he needs. And, though I don't know him very well, I don't think he needs a lot of attention draw to him. He needs constant love and reassurance, and he needs someone he can trust and talk to."

Esme wrapped me in a warm hug, and I wanted to have her hold me there and just cry. I had never missed being human so much. But never before had I realized how much I was missing.

The world felt more in perspective, though. Carlisle had been repeating to me constantly, 'be what Edward needs'. I understood what that truly meant now. I would be quiet and fly under the radar, listen to him, and support him. I would do whatever he was most comfortable with.

Just then, the door slammed, and my sister stormed into the living room looking like an angry and vengeful goddess, her golden hair whipping through the air as she stared daggers in my direction. Esme positioned herself in front of me on the loveseat as if she could protect me from Rosalie's glare.

"Don't you ever do anything like that again," She growled, pointing a finger at me. Then, as quickly as she came in, she stormed out again, flying upstairs and slamming the door to her room.

It was much quicker than I had expected. I had expected yelling, maybe some throwing of glassware or ceramic, and a very long lecture from a vampire who put herself on a pedestal. I was almost disappointed, and Esme and I shared a small smile of relief that Rosalie had not turned violent.

Emmett appeared in the doorway, a huge grin on his face. He looked too happy for someone whose mate was furious and slamming doors.

"C'mon," He nodded his head at me, "let's go for a hunt, you bloodthirsty beast." I couldn't help but laugh, and got up to run after him, into the darkening forest.

And that was when the truth came out.

 **It's all over the place, sorry.**


	8. Scary Stories

**They're in quick succession.**

 **But this one is twice as long as normal. Consider it an apology for going on hiatus for so long.**

 **Mo Bamba- Sheck Wes**

 **Danse Macabre- Camille Saint-Saëns**

I ran, my thoughts consumed of my Edward. I wanted to know what he was doing, how he had managed to get through the day. I had left everything at school without so much as a thought, my backpack in Government class, the truck was still in the parking lot.

Edward had to go through the entire rest of the day by himself. I had abandoned him to the continued cruelty of high school, and never even thought to return to him.

Without giving it much thought, my path behind Emmett diverged. I followed my heart, crossing the 101 under the Mill Creek Bridge, getting my boots and the bottom of my jeans damp in the river water.

In seconds, I was at the front door of the Swan residence, combing down my hair to look less windblown before knocking on the door. I heard Alice's footsteps walk to the door and open it before I even had the chance to ring the doorbell.

Alice looked remarkably unlike Edward. Short, thin, with a soft jaw and heart shaped face. The only real similarity between the two of them was their bright green eyes- other than that, not even I would know they were siblings, much less twins.

"Hi, Bella! Come on in, Charlie will be home soon. Would you like to stay for dinner?" Her voice was high and sweet, and I was very tempted to accept her offer.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Emmett and I have plans tonight. I've actually just ditched him to be here now," I explained. I really did need to hunt soon.

"He's in his room," Alice nodded her head towards Edward's bedroom door. Of course, I knew this. I could hear the solid thump of his heart, I could hear his breathing, steady and even. He was sleeping, a short nap in the early evening. I wished for nothing more than to cuddle up with him and sleep as well.

I crossed the living room and rapped softly on the door. He didn't even stir, so I quietly opened the door, and closed it behind me. I had been in here before, but never when anyone else knew.

It was dark, and small, but not cramped. Besides a few books littering the floor, the room was devoid of any personalization or comfort. I knew from earlier visits that Edward had never unpacked any of his clothes into the dresser. All of his clothing was still packed in a duffel bag in the small closet.

Then there was the light of the room. Edward. My mate, my love, huddled under the covers on his bed. He was laying in fetal position and entirely covered by the duvet, but he didn't look in the least bit comfortable. His brow was pinched and his jaw was tightly clenched, as if he was upset or angry. After how I had treated him today, I wouldn't blame him.

I sat at the edge of the bed, careful to keep most of my weight off so as to not disturb him. Reaching forward, I cupped his face in my palm, feeling the sharp edge of his jaw. Immediately, his face relaxed, and he looked softer and calmer than before.

I had that effect on him, I suppose. I was always so focused on my draw to him, how I felt desperate to be near him and touch him. I had never considered that perhaps Edward experience some of the attraction of our bond.

I took only one moment to hold him and gaze into his angelic face before I moved to wake him, tapping gently on his shoulder. After all these centuries, human pressure and touch came almost naturally to me, I was hardly ever worried about harming them with my strength.

He stirred, his heartrate picking back up and his eyelids fluttering.

"Edward?" I called, trying to bring him out of his sleep. It worked.

His eyes flipped open, revealing those dazzling green eyes framed by thick, dreamy lashes. He sat up quickly, pulling the duvet to cover his entire torso.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior today," I told him. He was staring directly into my eyes with a confused expression on his face.

"This morning, yelling at Jessica and Mike and them, it wasn't appropriate," I explained, "And then I got mad again in Government class. But Edward, you have to know, it's just because I like you so much.

"I can't stand to see people being mean, especially not to you. I think I've gotten a good sense of you as a person. You're incredibly smart, though I disagree with you completely on da Vinci and Michelangelo," I smiled at him, and I could see his full lips twitch at the memory of our art discussion with my family, "And you're a very handsome young man. I don't understand why teenagers are the way they are.

"But I understand that attention is not something you desire," I continued. "In fact, it's something I identify with. So we can do whatever makes you the most comfortable. If you would like for me to keep my distance in school, I will. You just have to tell me what you need."

I had to breathe after my monologue, and my throat burned with thirst. I hardly ever went so long without feeding. My control was unquestionable, I wasn't even tempted by the three humans in the house, but it was still uncomfortable.

The silence lingered. Edward was still staring directly into my eyes, which was very unusual. Prolonged eye contact with humans did not often occur, they could usually sense something wrong or predatory and shifted their gaze to show subservience. That was basic nature. But Edward was not subservient, he was my equal, and in many ways, superior. I could never be as sincere, as honest, heartfelt, sweet, and completely wonderful as he, and that made him a far better person.

"I'm g-g-going to th-therapy," Edward said abruptly, his deliciously deep voice scratchy from sleep. I couldn't help the smile on my face. I was proud of my strong mate for knowing when to ask for help. "H-h-hopefully i-it'll h-h-help with the s-st-s-stutter, too." His lip twitched up into another crooked smile.

I almost didn't know what he meant. Of course, I knew he stuttered, I was dead, not deaf. But I didn't notice it, it was just a facet of Edward. But it was obviously something that stemmed from the years of abuse, and he needed to start healing.

I stood up, perceiving the natural end to the conversation, and knowing that I should probably leave. I could hear Charlie and Alice in the kitchen, unpacking takeout boxes in a comfortable silence. Alice had told him that I was in Edward's room, but he liked me enough not to mind that I was in his teenage foster son's bedroom.

"I should probably get going. I'll see you on Monday?" Edward nodded in answer, and gave me another smile. My heart warmed and melted. His smile was adorable, slightly crooked, and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I exited the room, planning on saying a quick goodbye to Alice and Charlie, and then running straight over to meet Emmett and quench my thirst. But the second I was within human earshot, Charlie came out to greet me.

"Bella Cullen, it's wonderful to see you," he exclaimed, his thick dark mustache obscuring a kind grin.

"It's nice to see you too, Chief Swan. Catch any bad guys today?" He laughed aloud and ushered me into the kitchen.

"We have plenty of food here, Bella. If you want, grab a plate and dig in." I was too weak to resist. Chief Swan was gruff and usually quiet, but he was so nice, and he was the caregiver for the love of my existence. Anything I could do to please him, I probably would.

"Thank you, Chief Swan," I grabbed a paper plate and added some of the mush from the takeout containers. This wasn't exactly what I wanted to eat, but under the watchful eye of Alice and Charlie, I knew I would have no choice but to eat something.

As I placed a hunk of overcooked meat on my plate, I heard Edward rustling around in his room, putting clothes on. I imagined a sweatshirt gliding over his smooth skin, the definition of his abdomen. One day, I would be the one pulling the sweaters off of him, I would be able to run my hands across his skin and hold him to me.

He shuffled out of his room and closed the door carefully behind him just as the rest of us were sitting down at the small kitchen table. He noticed me sitting between his foster father and Alice immediately, but showed no reaction other than the increase in his heartrate.

I proceeded to cut up the slab of steak into very small pieces and swallowed it whole. Alice chatted to no one in particular about the death of Azzedine Alaïa and the impact it would have on the fashion world. I almost wanted to show Alice Rosalie's closet, in which three original Alaïa's hung, though they went unworn since we were meant to be teenagers in high school and not on the red carpet of the Met Ball.

Edward sat directly in front of me, allowing me to stare at him for as long as I pleased at I forked the human food into my mouth. It tasted disgusting, and I felt it sitting heavy in my stomach, begging to be regurgitated and replaced with something sustaining.

"So, Bella, how's your dad?" Charlie asked as Alice took a breath between monologues.

"He's doing fine, thank you for asking. Him and my mom are actually going to a design expo tomorrow in Seattle because she wants to redo the kitchen," I said honestly. That's what our existences had come to. Three of us attended a human high school for the twelfth time, Esme redid the house every two months, and Carlisle worked in a small hospital. It was the cost of living our lives the way we did, we couldn't do anything outstanding or prolific.

"You should come with us tomorrow!" Alice exclaimed happily, looking to Charlie for confirmation. I didn't know what they were doing, but any excuse to spend more time with Edward and bond with his family sounded wonderful.

"What are you doing?" I had already said yes in my head, and looked made eye contact with Edward to confirm he was okay with this.

"My old friend is having a fish fry down on the Quileute reservation. We'll be goin' down there, having a bonfire and all that on the La Push beach," I pressed my lips together, knowing I would have to decline the invitation, but also worried over the implications of Edward spending time on the reservation.

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan, but I'm afraid I have plans with my brother and sister. They usually need supervision while our parents are away," I laughed, and Chief Swan followed suit, trying to dispel any suspicion over my declining the offer. I knew Chief Swan spent a fair amount of time on the reservation, and I was sure he had heard rumors of the Cullen family, though that would mean the treaty had been breached. But he had treated me so kindly and without concern that I knew he didn't believe anything he happened to hear.

By the time the meal was over and Alice was throwing the plates away and putting the leftovers in the fridge, the food I had consumed was almost unbearably heavy. I couldn't stand waiting to say goodbyes and moving around, I needed to get it out of my body.

"Could I please use the restroom?" I asked, needing an excuse to get it out of me. A human bodily function moment could only serve to humanize me more to the Swan household. Charlie pointed me to the top of the stairs, and I had to restrain myself from running too quickly up the stairs to the bathroom.

I locked the door and made sure that everyone was out of earshot. Edward was helping pack up the food and Charlie wiped the counters down. I felt bad for not being more helpful, but the combination of being incredibly thirsty and eating all that food made the need to expel the food urgent.

The food came out quickly, and I flushed the toilet and turned around, but not before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I did an actual, literal double-take, like the kind from the movies.

I could confess that I was not the most beautiful vampire in the world. By our kind's standards, I was very average. But right now, I looked exhausted. The bruises under my eyes were dark and made my eyes look sunken. My eyes were pitch black and angry looking. I looked… _dangerous_. Hungry. I had overstayed my time with Edward here, and I needed to return to the woods.

When I returned downstairs, Charlie and Alice were on the couch watching a football game, and Edward was sitting at the kitchen counter, waiting for me. I couldn't help but smile at that beautiful boy the second I saw him.

"Bye, Bella," Alice called out from the couch, not moving. I didn't even know she could hear me descending the stairs. Charlie turned around in his seat.

"I'll see you around, Bella," Charlie nodded at me, then turned back to watch the game.

Edward moved to walk me out. He was such a sweet gentleman, always considerate and caring. This had been such a long, strenuous day for him, and it was entirely my fault, and yet here he was, escorting me to the door. It was enough to make my dead heart flutter.

He opened the door for me. The rain was gentle and the night filled with the sounds of crickets and televisions down the block. Edward's eyes were on the ground, but I reached out to brush his hand, and he looked up at me. Then, he looked behind me.

"Y-you d-d-don't have a c-car?" He questioned. I mentally cursed myself for letting him walk me out. I had made such an impulsive decision to just run here, abandoning Emmett out there, that I hadn't even given much thought to the fact that I didn't have a car, and that would be something noticeable.

"Emmett is picking me up," I lied, "He's waiting around the corner. We didn't want to block the driveway from Charlie." Edward looked at me for a moment, but didn't question my weak explanation.

"I'll see you Monday?" I asked, sad that I couldn't have the weekend with my mate. But perhaps space was something he needed, even if it would be on the reservation, where I couldn't watch over him. But I hadn't scented any wolves, so there wasn't any real danger there, at least no more than usual.

Edward nodded in response, and squeezed my fingers with his long, elegant digits before letting me go, a nonverbal goodbye and goodnight. I smiled at him one last time before turning from him and walking very slowly down the steps and the driveway. I heard the door close after a few minutes, and once I was out of eye line, I ducked into the woods and ran.

Emmett was waiting for me minutes away from the tree line. I stopped right in front of him, sheepish. His arms were folded across his chest in a mock-scolding stance, his brow cocked and questioning.

I shrugged my shoulders in nonverbal explanation, unable to articulate the pull I felt to Edward, how completely lost I felt sometimes when I wasn't with him. I had spent over five hundred years on this planet without Edward, but somehow, I couldn't imagine spending more than a few hours without him now.

"Come on, kiddo, let's get some food into you," Emmett ran, and this time, I really did follow. I took down several deer quickly, not feeling the need to find anything bigger, and desperate to get back to Edward in time to watch him sleep on his sister's floor.

When Emmett indicated he aimed to look for some bigger game, I took off, headed towards the reservation.

I was careful not to get too close to the treaty lines, lest I was wrong and a wolf had turned. I searched for the scent of wet dog all along the treaty lines, from Taylor Point to Ellen Creek. I sensed nothing, smelled nothing. It appeared the reservation was as safe as it could be.

Once I was sure the perimeter was clear, I ran back to my heart. Without Edward by my side, the world seemed dull. I didn't even enjoy running or hunting anymore. The stars glimmering in a rare clear night, the ancient trees that I ran past, none of it mattered without him.

The breathing in the Swan house was steady, indicating that they were all asleep already, so I jumped straight up to Alice's bedroom window.

Curled up on the floor, his duvet cast aside, was my mate. I opened the window and crawled inside, careful to shut the window behind me and trap the cold air outside. I tucked Alice in, then covered Edward in the duvet and laid in front of him, gazing into his angelic face until the sun rose.

But once Charlie began to stir, I knew it was my time to leave. I leaned over and kissed Edward on the forehead very gently, so that I was hardly touching his skin. His brows pinched together, and his breathing changed, so I knew he was near waking.

I moved quickly out of the house, moving to rest in the branch of a nearby tree, waiting to follow them to the reservation.

Edward awoke soon after I left, and dragged his pillow and blanket downstairs and into his room just before Charlie got up for the morning and headed downstairs to make coffee. I loved watching their human moments, not interrupted by my presence. Edward shuffled back upstairs to shower, and returned to eat cereal with Charlie as Alice got ready for the day.

The house was quiet, but their time together was so pure and so honest. There was no angst or urgency like with me, it was just easy. I was filled with doubt and loathing. Without me in the picture, Edward could find a girl who could accompany him to spend time with family friends, who could share in his warmth and lead a simple life.

I did my best to push my negative feelings aside, knowing that at this point, I didn't have the strength to stay away. For now, all I could do was protect him and keep him safe and loved.

Charlie and Alice walked side-by-side out of the house, with Edward tripping behind them. He looked positively adorable in a cable knit grey sweater that made him look so pale, he almost matched me. His sleep-tousled bronze hair gleamed in the soft sunlight, begging to have my hands in it, scratching his scalp and brushing through his soft locks.

I loved seeing him in the sun. It served to emphasize his strong, masculine features- his sharp, lickable jaw, his Grecian nose. He looked simultaneously a young man and a teenager. The tree branch I had been gripping snapped as I tried to hold myself back from jumping down and devouring him- and not in the vampire way.

The snap was audible to human hearing, and Charlie, who was sitting in the driver's seat of the cruiser, popped his head out and looked in my direction. I jumped from branch to branch until I was sure I was obscured by the sparse foliage. Charlie's brown eyes searched the tree lines for several moments, until Edward slid into the backseat. He cast one last glance in my direction, then threw the cruiser in reverse and pulled away, hopping on the 110 headed to La Push.

I ran beside them the entire drive, and stationed myself in another tree just before the treaty line, prepared to wait for Edward to return.

I had brought a book on Byzantine architecture, a book I had seen in Edward's room. I pulled it out of my coat pocket and proceeded to read as slowly as possible, hoping to allow the time to pass more quickly.

Time never passed quickly without Edward, though. The days when we were together, walking through the park and discussing literature and art, came and went as though they were mere fleeting seconds, and not the most significant and important hours of my entire existence. Everything else seemed pale and cold in comparison to the warmth of Edward's presence.

Soon enough, the sun sunk below the trees and the owls began to hunt, signaling the beginning of the night. Edward would be back soon, and my life could continue.

The hours passed, and eventually the cruiser rolled back onto the 110 with Edward sitting in the front seat and Alice sleeping in the back, her head of black hair pressed against the cold glass. They looked so peaceful, so familial.

That night, Edward followed his usual routine of sleeping beside Alice on the floor once Charlie was in bed. But he never slept. I stayed on the tree outside of their window, waiting for his breath to slow and his heartbeat to even out, but they never did. He lay, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling the entire night.

Humans needed sleep. I had learned of the necessity of sleep throughout my experiences in medical school, and it was incredibly important for someone still growing to have a full night's sleep. But alas, the sun rose again, and Edward had yet to fall asleep. Something was occupying his thoughts and preventing him from resting.

The family followed their usual morning routine, and once I heard Edward in the shower, I ran home with the purpose of changing quickly and returning to watch over my mate.

"Incoming!" Emmett yelled with a laugh, leaving Rose in their room to come out and greet me with a smile and a thump on the back as I ran to my room to change.

"Leaving so soon?" Esme asked with a warm smile. I shrugged in response. She wasn't judging me, nor was she upset that I was always gone, but I knew that I was neglecting my family. I knew that, in the very least, Rose missed me. We had gone from spending every day together, running through the woods, laughing and reveling in the hunt together, to me being basically nonexistent in our home.

I stopped short of running out of the house, turning and going back upstairs, to Rose. She was lounging on her bed, flipping through a magazine and looking absolutely fabulous. When she saw me in her doorway, her eyebrow cocked up questioningly.

"Do you want to do something today?" I asked. I had never had to actually make plans with my family, we just always had all the time in the world, so quality time manifested organically. Rose knew this, and smiled in response.

"Of course. What did you have in mind?" Emmett bound in the room just then, looking and acting like a puppy, his curly dark hair falling in his eyes.

"Are you gracing us with your presence today, Bella?" Emmett bumped into my shoulder, making a loud _crack_ sound before he jumped on the bed, jostling Rose so she was forced to fix her perfect hair.

"There's a reason you weren't included in the invitation, you big oaf," she pushed him off the bed so that he fell loudly, creating small cracks in the dark wood floor. Emmett and Rose grinned at each other, and I felt a surge of jealously at the ease of their relationship. I had never thought I would find Rose and Emmett's relationship easy, but when I had spent the better part of two months pining and bipolar, their tumultuous marriage paled in comparison.

Their grins eventually turned into a more intense, meaningful gaze, and I took that as my cue to get out before I bore witness to a real life porn.

"I'm going to check on Edward. I'll be back soon, okay?" Rose just nodded, not breaking eye contact with Emmett as he slowly got up. I ran out of the house and toward Edward just in time to hear Rose trying to wrestle Emmett, a key aspect of their foreplay.

Back through the forest I ran, through my usual route that was very well travelled, just in time to see that rusty red truck pull away, with Alice in the driver's seat and Edward sitting next to her. She looked so small in that bag truck, I wasn't even sure she should be allowed to drive something like that since she could barely see over the steering wheel.

They got on the 101, driving straight through Forks, past the surprisingly busy intersection and onto the highway. It was Sunday, meaning churchgoers had clogged up the streets, but traffic was never really a problem in the Pacific Northwest, and they drove with ease through Olympic National Forest and to Port Angeles.

I knew I had plenty of time. Rose and Emmett would be occupied for at least another hour, so I followed in the trees as Alice pulled into the parking lot of a plain, three story building on the outskirts of Port Angeles.

Edward looked exhausted as he jumped out of the cab and walked into the building behind Alice. The bruising under his eyes was almost as bad as mine had been last night, and his slouch was worse than usual. I wanted to hold him, lay his head in my lap and stroke his hair as he fell asleep, finally at rest.

My curiosity as to why they were in Port Angeles at 10am on a Sunday was quenched when I heard Alice in the lobby of the office they were in.

"My name is Alice, this is my brother Edward. We have appointments with Dr. Crowley," I understood, then, that they were at their therapy appointment. They were finally going to get some of the help they both so desperately needed, and I could not have been prouder.

It did mean, though, that I had an afternoon free. I didn't want to sit in the trees and listen to Edward and Alice in therapy, where they thought they had the freedom of privacy and confidentiality. There were some things that were sacred, and I could respect that.

I ran into the park, far enough that I was out of earshot, and flipped open my cellphone to call Rose.

"Hmm?" she answered, still semi-preoccupied with Emmett.

"Shopping?" It was an excuse to stay in Port Angeles, still close to Edward in case he needed me, but also far enough away to give him the space he needed.

I thought I heard Rose actually drop the phone in surprise, as I had never been one for shopping or fashion, and she usually had to drag me to a store if she wanted to go.

"Seattle?" Rose asked. I could hear her changing her clothes already, Emmett in the background begging her to let him come. I wasn't sure which definition of "come" Emmett had meant, and I didn't want to know.

"Edward is in Port Angeles," I heard her stop in her rush to her car. Then, she laughed.

"Of course he is. I'll pick you up at the lake," She hung up, and I headed to Lake Crescent to wait for Rose.

Not more than thirty minutes went by before the apple red M3 came peeling around the corner, screeching to a stop in front of me. The top was down, and Rose was in the driver's seat, a floral scarf over her perfectly coiffed hair.

"Get in, loser, we're going shopping," Rose said in her best Valley Girl accent, an uncanny impression of her favorite character in Emmett's favorite movie. I hopped in the front seat and Rose stepped on it, speeding to Port Angeles.

In the chicer shops along the coast was where we spent most of our afternoon. And I actually enjoyed myself, having fun with my alone time with my sister.

Rose was unhappy with our existence, that much I knew. Many times, she just wished that Carlisle and I had left her to die in the streets, and I knew there were moments that she resented me for doing what I thought saved her. But then, when we were together, laughing and being silly and drawing attention to ourselves, we were really family.

Rosalie and I walked, arm-in-arm, into the next store, one filled with lacy underwear that Rose always wanted more of. She rifled through the racks of velvet and lace, but I just stood beside her, watching.

"I think I'm going to go hit the bookstore," I excused myself from lingerie shopping, knowing it wouldn't be something I'd need for quite some time. Rose barely cast a glance in my direction, as a sales girl had started helping her, and was in the middle of telling her how beautiful her skin was. Rose would never be distracted from compliments.

I exited the shop and made my way down the streets, finding the bookstore with ease.

I so loved the smell of books. It was like history. They reminded me of home, of my childhood, surrounded by learning and pages. Around books, I was my most human, moving slowly and deliberately, flipping through every title and enjoying the feeling of canvas and leather underneath my fingertips.

I wandered the bookstore for over an hour, selecting a few titles that seemed interesting, that perhaps I could share with Edward soon. Once I heard the M3 outside, I stopped perusing and purchased the books I was holding.

Rose smiled from the car, dressed in an entirely new outfit with a new scarf. The back seat was packed with shopping bags and tissue paper, though not nearly as much had we been in Seattle, patronizing the couture shops.

"Let's get back to our boys," She said, peeling out of the parking lot the moment I was in the car. The radio was blasting as we cruised through Port Angeles, enjoying the breeze and the lack of rain during an overcast twilight. But as we were on the outskirts of town, ready to get on the highway and head home, I smelled blood. Not just any blood.

Edward's precious, delectable blood had been spilled near us.

Before Rose even had time to pull over, before I could even explain that it was Edward's scent that lingered in the air, I jumped out of the car, running as fast as I could towards the source of the blood.

The sun sunk even further, obscuring my rapid movements in the shadows as I darted through the alleys of the warehouse district, weaving my way through, following the scent of blood. I heard the engine of the M3 following me through the streets, tracking the blood same as I was.

I heard voices, yelling, before they came into sight. Eight hearts pounding, one of them my Edward's, thumping. The air was thick with adrenaline and sweat. Rosalie was right behind me, screeching through the streets, but I was there first.

There were seven men, standing in a circle with Edward in the middle. One guy was going through his backpack, tossing out a book and some papers. Edward was pushed from one guy to another, then onto the ground, where his soft palms scraped the pavement, creating more blood.

It wasn't the blood that stopped me in my tracks, kept me in the shadows and out of their sight. I wasn't even tempted by it, it was such an inconsequential amount of blood that even Emmett wouldn't have a problem. It was how we had survived so long in schools, with children gets cuts and such all day long. But Edward's blood especially wasn't tempting. I knew what it would mean for me to be tempted by Edward's blood, the consequences I would have to pay, and I would never risk losing him.

I heard the metal of the knife and knew I needed to act. Rosalie was too far away to pull in in time to scare them away. My footsteps were silent on the wet pavement as I walked quickly, keeping in the shadows, appearing behind one of the men at the last possible moment. The first man to spot me, the one who had been going through Edward's bag, jumped back, but then a smile creeped on his face.

"Well what do we have here?" He asked, causing the circle of men to open and face me. One even whistled. Edward was still on the ground, and he looked up to me with a terrified expression on his beautiful face.

"Want to come and play, baby?" The first man asked, stepping forward, towards me. He gave Edward a slight kick in the ribs, and it was all I could do not to jump and snap his leg off.

Rosalie was close, only two blocks away, but I was their distraction for the moment. One of the men to my left pulled a knife out of his pocket, and I could smell the blood on it. These were very bad men, men who had killed before, and would again. But first, I had to get Edward away from them, I had to protect what innocence he had left.

I stood entirely still, letting the man come closer to me as he slowly approached, and waited for Rosalie. Edward jumped off the ground and threw his body at the man with the knife. I couldn't move humanly fast enough to stop him.

"R-r-run!" Edward yelled, giving me a pleading stare. My heart grew three sizes that day. Edward cared enough about me to sacrifice himself to protect me. He literally threw himself in harm's way, risking his own life, to try and save me. I loved him more than could be articulated.

Before the man could even comprehend my movements, I rushed forward, gently knocking the knife out of his hand and into mine. He fell backwards, but the rest of the group of men were getting riled up and ready for a fight, especially now that I had a visible weapon.

It was then that headlights were visible, and Rosalie screeched to a halt in front of us.

"Edward, get in the car," I growled. I was ready to rip these men apart. I wanted to destroy them for trying to hurt my mate. But Edward was hurt and bleeding, and needed more immediate attention.

In their drunken stupor, the men were too dumb and distracted by the car to notice me backing away and jumping into the backseat of the car. The second I was in, Rosalie pulled away quickly, vindictively almost running into one of them.

"Easy, Rose," I whispered far too quietly for Edward to hear. Rose nodded her head slightly and slowed to a more human speed. I leaned so I could face Edward, almost sitting on the center console.

"Let me see your hands," Edward gave me his hands. I grabbed an antiseptic wipe that I had stashed in the glove box and wiped his hands clean of blood. The scrapes were superficial, I was surprised I could smell it from as far away as we had been. I relished in the feeling of his soft hands under mine, pliable and warm. He didn't seem to even notice my cold skin, yet alone be bothered by it.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. Edward shook his head. Rose slowed to a stop at a red light, and turned to look at us.

"Where am I going?" She asked, looking to Edward. His gaze was cast down, fixed on our entwined hands. I softly stroked the underside of his palm, careful to avoid aggravating the scrapes.

"I-I w-w-was s-supposed t-to m-m-meet Alice," his voice was soft and shaky, so soft that a human wouldn't have heard.

"Where?" Rose prompted gently, wanting to know where to take him before the light changed.

"Bella I-I-Italia," Edward replied, squeezing my hand softly and letting go, turning to face forward. Rose nodded and headed towards the restaurant. Edward's heart was still pounding, but Rose made sure to drive carefully and smoothly. We pulled into a parking spot right in front, Rosalie ever the lucky driver.

Standing out front was Alice and, surprisingly, Jessica and Angela, who were holding shopping bags and laughing with Alice. Edward also looked confused, so I assumed that this was not a part of their plan. I jumped out of the backseat and opened the passenger door for Edward. He tripped on his way out, still a little shaky, but caught himself by grabbing my shoulder. Naturally, almost as if we had done it a thousand times, his arm moved across my shoulder until I was tucked into his side. I reached out and put an arm around his waist, reveling in the feeling of being so close to his warm body. He was so soft but so strong, and his heartbeat felt like mine.

Rosalie followed next to us as we approached the group of teenage girls. Alice was the first to see us, and did not look at all surprised. She just smiled her toothy, knowing smile and turned back to her conversation. Angela also looked happy to see us. I had felt bad for yelling at her a few days ago, as she had never done anything malicious, and had never treated Edward or Alice poorly. Jessica looked nervous when she saw us, though.

"Bella! Hi! Good to see you!" She moved forward as though she wanted to hug me, but then stopped, so she was awkwardly standing between Alice and Angela, and me, Edward, and Rose.

"It's nice to see you too," I nodded cordially.

"I wanted to wait for you, Edward, but I ran into Jessica and Angela and they were kind enough to invite me to join them," Alice explained.

"I'm sorry I kept Edward from dinner. We just ran into each other and kinda got talking," I shrugged, beaming up at Edward from my place at his side. I had never felt more at home than in the embrace of the darling, beautiful boy I called my mate.

"I totally understand. That happens, right?" Alice wasn't breaking eye contact with me. She was more like her brother than I had realized, so brave, with no sense of self-preservation.

"We were, yeah, we were just leaving," Angela explained, walking past us to head to their car.

"I think I should make sure Edward gets something to eat," I said, hoping that some food and calm would help Edward's erratic heartbeat stabilize. "If you'd like?" I looked back up to him to confirm. I didn't want to make him do anything he was uncomfortable or not happy with. But he just gently squeezed my shoulder and nodded, not making eye contact with me.

"Alice, we can drive you home if you want," Jessica offered, looking to me instead of Alice. She was clearly trying to make amends with me. I didn't mind if the charity wasn't sincere, as long as she wasn't mean or rude to Edward or Alice again.

"That would be great," Rose said, never one to be quiet or not the center of attention in a conversation. "I need to get home, too. So Edward can drive Bella home after dinner." Edward shrugged in response, his grey pea coat moving so that I was a layer closer to his skin, now just his sweater and my thin coat separating us. I wanted to tear off his sweater gently, like unwrapping a present, and look down on the gorgeous body of my perfect mate before I devoured him. And not in a food source way of devouring.

"Okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow," Jessica said, smiling at me nervously again.

"Yeah, see you," Angela parroted, walking next to Jessica to their car.

Alice snapped me out of my fantasy by pressing the keys in Edwards free hand. He placed them in his coat, and we turned towards to restaurant to head inside.

I heard the exchange from behind us. Angela and Jessica were already in their car, and Rose had already started the M3 up and was getting ready to pull out when Alice stopped her.

"You'll find what you're looking for where you left them," Alice called to Rose, then she turned around and got into the backseat of Angela's car. I wanted to turn and look at that strange exchange, but I was following Edward's lead, and I didn't want to leave the comfort of his embrace.

I knew where Rose was going, and who she was looking for. She was going to find those men and take care of them for me. They were murderers, muggers, and rapists, and there was nothing Rose despised more than those who preyed on the weak. But Alice seemed to know more than any human should. She always seemed to know more than any human should.

Bella Italia was busy for a Sunday evening, and the hostess wanted to show us to a table in the middle of the restaurant, where it would be loud and crowded.

"Maybe somewhere a little more quiet?" I asked, looking her right in the eyes and hoping that would be enough to convince her. I was on my first dinner date with the love of my existence, and we needed quiet if we were going to discuss what had just happened. The hostess capitulated easily and lead us to a booth on the quiet side of the restaurant.

We slid in, and I couldn't help but stare at Edward's gorgeous face under the soft, romantic light. How could a human look so absolutely perfect. Even among vampires, there were flaws, but Edward… he was just perfect. I wanted to lean over the table and kiss him on the mouth, feel his soft, warm, full lips yield under mine.

The waitress interrupted my fantasy with menus and a drink order. I asked for two Cokes, hoping the sugar and caffeine would get Edward jump started. He was completely still sitting across from me, his hands folded on the table and his spine straight.

The waitress returned quickly with our drink order, and Edward ordered the fettuccine alfredo without even looking at the menu. I declined to order, and I noticed the waitress smirk in my direction.

"Y-y-you're not g-going to eat?" Edward questioned, the first words out of his mouth since the car. Normally, I would order, but I really just didn't want to eat food, especially when the watchful eye of Edward Masen would be noticing if I was just pushing food around on the plate.

"I'm not hungry," I explained, pushing the Coke towards him. He took a sip, but looked to the waitress, who was at the counter placing his order.

"She thinks y-y-you h-have an e-eating d-d-disorder," my brows knitted together. How could he possibly know that? He didn't even give me time to response before pressing forward, looking me in the eyes and saying, "I-I n-need a-a-answers."

"This sculpture is an unfinished horse, started in 1495 by the great Leonardo da Vinci," I replied smartly, phrasing it like a Jeopardy question. Edward cocked his eyebrow at me and his mouth pulled up, and I gleaned from his body language that he was not exactly amused.

"What i-is G-Gran C-C-Cavallo," I was stunned, "B-but th-that's not what I-I m-meant. H-How d-did y-you know wh-were I-I-I was?"

I was even more stunned. I couldn't very well tell him that I followed the faint scent of his blood for well over a mile to find him. He was searching my face, waiting for an explanation, but I couldn't give him one, not without outright telling him what I was.

The waitress came back with Edward's pasta, giving me a break from his verdant, piercing stare. I watched as he expertly twirled some creamy noodles on a spoon, bringing the fork up to his delectable mouth. His jaw clenched as he chewed, accentuating the definition. I wanted to lick him there, follow the path from his ear, down to his throat, and kiss him right on his jugular, where warm lifeblood pounded, keeping him alive and with me.

"I don't have an answer for you," I told him honestly, looking down. If I outright told him what I was, right here, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, not only would he not believe me, but I would have no way to prove myself to him.

"I-I was in L-La P-Push y-y-yesterday," Edward abruptly changed the subject, following his next bite with a sip of Coke. His heart had slowed to a steady pulse, and his voice was no longer shaky.

"I w-went t-t-to a b-bonfire with Alice and Charlie's f-f-friend's s-son, Jacob," He continued, "A-and I-I-I h-heard some in-interesting things." If I had a heart, it would have been pounding. The dogs had broken the treaty without even knowing it. Edward calmly took another bite of his dinner, though, and pulled out his bag, which he had collected before jumping in Rose's car. He pulled out a small, leather-bound book and slid it across the table. The title read "Quileute Legends and Stories". I looked up at Edward, who was once again studying me.

"Native legends are always fascinating. Please let me know what you think of the book," I replied calmly. He left the book on the table and continued eating, swirling his pasta. For once, he wasn't slouched over and looking uncomfortable. For some reason, after such a traumatic experience, he was the most open and expressive he had ever been with me.

"I've a-already read s-s-some. Th-That's what I-I-I w-was d-doing when th-those m-m-men f-found me. I-I w-w-was r-reading," I was almost mad at him. He had wandered out, alone, and was reading at dusk in a bad part of town. He was just asking for trouble. I didn't even want to think of what would have happened to him had I not followed him to Port Angeles, had we not been on the road at that exact moment in time. I didn't even know why he was there so late if they were only in Port Angeles for therapy in the morning. What had he and Alice been doing for those several unaccounted for hours?

We remained silent for the rest of his meal. He quickly finished his pasta and drank his entire Coke, plus some of mine. It seemed he had dropped the subject of Quileute legends for the time.

I paid the bill, despite Edward's silent objection, and we left Bella Italia, walking in step to the big, rusty truck. Edward pulled out the keys and fumbled with unlocking the passenger door, then walked over to the driver's side and slid in. I hated the truck. It was so slow and old, and I had never seen Edward drive before.

I slid into the cab and sat as close as I could to Edward without touching him, not wanting to push it. I moved his backpack to the other side of me so there would be nothing separating us. He started the car and turned the heat on, placing his hands over the vents. The cuts on his palms had clotted and scabbed by now, and I wished I could hold his hands in mine and warm them.

"H-how old a-are y-y-you?" He asked abruptly, turning his body so his right foot was tucked under his left knee. It was clear that we wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

Edward knew. He had heard the stories of the 'cold ones', had read up on it, and put two and two together. He had felt my skin, seen what my family and I looked like.

I couldn't lie to him.

"I'm twenty-one," It was the honest truth. When I was turned, I was 21 human years, though I had always looked younger. It served me well in going to high school, everyone always thought Emmett was far older than a teenager.

"H-how l-l-long have y-you b-been t-twenty-one?" Once again, we were making meaningful, prolonged eye contact, unusual for Edward and for any human. His heart rate was even. His question was confirmation that he knew.

"Are you sure you want to have this conversation?" I needed to know, from him directly, that this is what he wanted. Once this line was crossed, we could never come back. He was still so young, had so much he was going through and so much he had been through. I didn't want to complicate his life or his thoughts with this knowledge yet.

Edward nodded, his expression earnest and confident.

"I-I t-t-told you a-about what h-happened to me a-a-and Alice. Y-you know a-a-about th-th-this," he pushed up his sleeve to show me the scars and marks across his arms, evidence of his self-harm. I wanted to kiss every mark on his body and show him that he shouldn't mar his body so because it was beautiful and glorious and deserved to be worshipped, not bloodied.

"I-I kn-know n-n-nothing about y-you," He was right. Besides my love of da Vinci, he knew nothing of substance about me. But that was for a reason. He was so fragile and innocent, and I had wanted to protect that.

But he wanted to know. And I would give Edward whatever he wanted. I nodded.

"I've been twenty-one for over five hundred years," Edward's dark, shapely eyebrows raised so high on his forehead that his tousled copper hair concealed them. Clearly, that was a surprise to him.

"T-t-tell me e-everything," His eyes were pleading, but he still seemed comfortable, relatively confident. I wondered if the adrenaline was still pumping in him, keeping him from running away screaming. But I would smell that.

"I was a lady of my time, a duchess. I was well-educated, especially for a woman, and was taught everything from art to languages to dance. But I had made a mistake when I was young, fallen in love with the wrong man, and ended up with a happy life, but a sad one all the same.

"Like so many women of my time, childbirth was my death sentence. As I bled out, a close friend I had made the last few years of my human life came to me. With him was the woman who changed me. He insisted that she turn me, preserve my life, and convinced her to perform a nearly impossible task.

"How it works, with our kind, is with a bite. One bite and the venom is inserted into the blood stream, paralyzing one for days until the transformation is complete and the heart stops. It's incredibly painful, but when I woke up, I was this," I gestured to my body. Edward nodded in understanding. He wasn't running and screaming, or yelling and crying. He was behaving as though I had just told him I liked chocolate ice cream, not that I was married, or knew Leonardo da Vinci, or had died several hundred years ago.

"W-wow," Edward finally responded. I waited for his outrage. "I-I guess th-that's why y-y-you've d-don't act l-like a n-n-normal t-teenager."

His lips twisted up into the crooked grin I loved so much. My mouth popped open in surprise. Of all the things I had expected him to say in response to my overly detailed human biography, I was not expecting him to say that.

"How are you not running and screaming?" Edward had repositioned himself, getting ready to pull out of the space and drive. He was still smiling, though.

"H-how c-c-could your story n-not be as f-f-fantastic as you," It was a rhetorical question that once again stunned me into silence. Blush crept up his neck, but he hit the clutch and pulled away.

Edward was a faster driver than I had expected, pushing the truck to its limit once we were on the 110.

"S-sunlight?" Edward asked, breaking the silence.

"It doesn't burn us, but something does happen that forces us to stay out of sight," I couldn't believe that I was telling him this.

"C-c-coffins?"

"We don't sleep."

"E-ever?" His brows knitted together.

"Never."

"Th-that must s-s-suck," he bit his bottom lip, thinking about what I had said. I laughed in disbelief. This is what he thought _sucked_?

"Speaking of sleep, it looks like you need some," I said, pointing at the dark bruises under his eyes. I knew he hadn't slept since Friday night, and it was Sunday night. That was too long for a human to go without rest. He just shrugged his shoulders, moving on from my concern.

"What d-d-do y-you e-e-eat?" For the first time in our entire conversation, his heartrate picked up. Finally, a normal response of fear.

"Most of our kind feed from humans," I warned, "But I've never partaken. Not that I've never been tempted." I looked to him pointedly. He needed to know that I was still dangerous, even if I didn't seem like it. Even though my control was excellent and I had the easiest time being around humans, he needed to know that I was as dangerous as any other vampire.

"Me and my family, we've found that animal blood is a sustaining source. It never fully quenches the thirst, but it keeps us strong."

Edward nodded again. Of his own volition, he reached out and grasp my hand in his. I could feel the rough scraped on his palm, a reminder of his mortality and what had almost happened just hours ago.

That was how we spent the rest of our drive, in a comfortable silence, holding hands. He knew, now, and he accepted me for what I was. I felt so lucky and blessed to have a mate that was not only gorgeous and smart, but also compassionate and accepting. He had always been so shy and unsure of himself, completely lacking in self-confidence. He didn't believe that I wanted him when he thought I was human. I couldn't help but wonder why he was so sure of himself now, when he knew I was an ethereal being. Perhaps my constant reassurance had finally gotten through to him?

Our drive was over too quickly. I pointed the turn to the Cullen house out to him, and Edward dropped me off at home, driving himself away. I turned to the house, realizing what awaited me here.

That was the first time I had to tell my family that our secret was out, and it was my fault.

 **I'm all over the place. This probably could have been two chapters, but whatever, what's done is done.**

 **Next time, you'll see more of the Edward we've all come to love. There's a reason he was so different this chapter.**


	9. Love Story (An Outtake)

_Ferrara, Italy_

 _10 February 1490_

 _The halls were silent but for the crackling of fires, warming the cold walls during a Ferrara winter. Isabella d'Este lounged on a chaise, plucking at a lira da braccio and watching the wax on a candle melt, counting the time._

 _The was a clatter outside her door, and she jumped up, lacing up the bodice of her red evening gown. Carefully, she pulled the silky grey chemise out in puffs between the ribbon ties in her sleeve, a fashion trend that she had started. It had grown in popularity in the region, and Isabella had to be sure she was always leading the trends, even if she planned to remain unseen that night._

 _Footsteps echoed on the stone walls as Isabella hurriedly braided her long brown hair back, trying to keep it out of her face. Her small sack was already packed with the possessions she was taking with her. She wasn't concerned about that. Anything she wanted, her coin and medal collection, the small painting she had been gifted by Leonardo da Vinci, could be retrieved later. She was not abandoning everything._

 _There was a rap at the wooden door. Isabella jumped, her heart pounding already. She was so nervous, so frightened. What if they were caught? She didn't even want to imagine what her father might do, much less the repercussions it would have for her entire family._

 _But when she opened the door, all of her doubts faded. He was tall, with dark, tanned skin, long and silky black hair that fell into his sparkling black eyes, and visible laugh lines framing his shapely lips. He looked like someone who had lived a life full of adventure and excitement, someone who was a pioneer and entertainer._

 _He wasn't laughing then, though. He looked down at Isabella with concern, as she had yet to move out of her chambers. She was stunned, though, as she so often was by this dazzling, swashbuckling adventurer._

" _Isabella," He sighed, grasping for her soft hands with his rough digits._

" _Yes?" Answered a sweet voice from outside the room. From behind the man emerged Isabella's mirror image, a smile on her soft lips. They truly did look alike, with the same clear olive skin, delicate, sloping nose, and chestnut hair that shone russet in the soft candlelight._

 _The two girls embraced, holding each other tightly for a long while. It was finally time to do what had to be done, but they didn't want to let go of each other, or their identities, just yet._

 _The man sighed again, looking down the darkened hall. He was tapping the sheathed dagger on his side anxiously, wanting to leave this place and complete the task at hand. His friend could only keep those who would otherwise be watching occupied for so long, and the girls needed to be separate by then._

 _They pulled away from each other, eventually, but Isabella cupped her sister's face with her hands. It was like looking in a mirror, and she had never been so grateful for having a doppelgänger who was also her best friend and sister._

" _Thank you so much, sister," Isabella cried, a sense of urgency in her voice. Her sister reached out and smoothed Isabella's hair behind her ears, careful to not disturb the delicate braiding._

" _I would do anything for you. Now go, go follow your love and you shall never be sad or lonely again. I will see you tomorrow," She promised, releasing Isabella to the man who waited anxiously by the door, keeping constant vigilance._

 _A tear fell from Isabella's wet eyes as she placed her hand on the man's outstretched arm, letting him carry her sack and escort her down the hall. Their steps were silent, Isabella had purposely worn soft slippers, and the man was carefully measuring each step to remain quiet._

 _The door to Isabella's chambers closed behind them, sealing their choice and opening the promise of happiness ahead._

 _Voices and music rung through the halls as they descended the stairs, arm in arm. Isabella kept her head down, and they slipped through the main hall and into an adjacent corridor. All of the jubilant party guests who had stayed up later than the families were engrossed in the performance of the greatest artist of all time, who was fiddling with paper to create sails that flew through the air. It was a mesmerizing sight, and no one paid any mind to the couple as they walked to the nursery._

 _Isabella let out the breath she had been holding once they were again obscured in shadows and in the privacy of the children's quarters. Her old chambers, and her sister's chambers, were at the end of this hall, and once they were there, it would be over._

 _It was late, and Isabella was tired. It was supposed to be her wedding day tomorrow. She had been helping to plan it for over a year. It would begin with a grand procession through Ferrara to the basilica, where I would have ridded in a chariot draped with cloth of pure gold. Our vows would be made before God and all our people, and the celebrations would be bountiful and joyous. Hundreds of guests would eat decadent meals off crystal and gold plates as the greatest musicians in the region serenaded us._

 _It would be a beautiful and magnificent day, if not for the choice of groom. He just wasn't Ludovico. He was younger, yes, but, in the one meeting that had occurred between Isabella and her betrothed, Francesco Gonzaga, she had observed him to be brash and rude, and not very handsome. He had thin, greasy hair and bulging eyes, and she had heard through court gossip that he kept mistresses._

 _Her sister's betrothed, on the other hand, was a magnificent, learned man, and the moment she laid eyes on him, she loved him. Ludovico had asked Isabella's father for her hand, but she was already betrothed to Francesco, so Ludovico settled for her sister Beatrice, hoping that marrying into the family would provide him with some opportunity to catch a glimpse of Isabella._

 _The plan to switch places was none of theirs, rather, it was Ludovico's friend, Leonardo. He had seen how Isabella and Ludovico looked at one another, the moments they had stolen while Ludovico was in Ferrara court the year before. He knew Isabella to be an exceptional young woman with a keen eye for art, even suggesting to Leonardo in a passing moment that he use pastels to soften light and aid with shadowing while painting portraits._

 _Ludovico opened the door to her sister's chambers, and bent down to place a delicate kiss on her forehead. Isabella flushed and stared up at the man she had fallen in love with and decided she didn't regret what she had done, even if they were caught._

 _The door closed and Isabella could hear Ludovico walking down the cold corridor, back towards the late-night celebration. She turned and studied her sister's room, her room, with a close eye. There were no musical instruments in here, but there were plenty of books in Italian, French, and Latin, and a piece of fabric with unfinished needlework on a red rose lay on the dark wood table in the center of the room. Isabella poked the flames of the dying fire, warming the room again, before undressing and unbraiding her hair. She changed into a nightgown alone, not used to not receiving any aid from a lady, she fumbled over the laces._

 _She fell asleep the second her head hit the goose feather pillow and dreamt of her own wedding the following year, of a long and happy life with the man of her dreams._

 _So now, Isabella d'Este became Beatrice d'Este, betrothed to Ludovico il Moro, the future duchess of Bari and Milan._

 **This is a small glimpse into the backstory of our Bella. More to come.**


	10. Interrogations

**Drop a review when you read- good, bad, or ugly, it makes me feel good**

 **Happy- Bastille/Marshmello**

 **Préludes, Book 1, L. 117: I. Danseuses de Delphes- Claude Debussy**

"I took care of them," Rose said the second I walked through the door. She and Esme were sitting on the coach playing a video game. Given the crushed controller that was in the trashcan in the living room, I gleaned that Emmett had played earlier and lost. Now, he and Carlisle were on the first floor balcony where Carlisle was schooling Emmett in chess.

"Took care of whom?" Carlisle was immediately in the room, his arms crossed and an expectant expression on his face. Rose explained what had happened- how I picked up the scent of Edward's blood as we headed out of Port Angeles, how he was being beaten and robbed. And how she left Edward and me at a restaurant to go find the gang of attackers.

For once, I liked hearing of the violence that was inflicted on those men. I wished I was there with Rosalie instead of spilling all my secrets to my fragile human mate.

"Don't worry, Carlisle, I didn't kill them," Rose said before Carlisle could chastise her, "I roughed them up a little bit, but once they were all knocked out, I dumped them in front of the Port Angeles police station and covered them in beer, so it would be clear that they passed out drunk."

Logically, I knew that Rose's route to justice was the right one, and that all human life is sacred. That was the whole point of our lifestyle. But I wanted nothing more than to rip the head off of that creepy man with the dark hair who I had seen kick Edward.

I didn't allow myself to picture his death, though. I had already changed so much, I couldn't descend into bloodlust as well.

"Edward knows," I blurted out, interrupting Rose as she detailed to Emmett kicking one of the men in the crotch. The room fell deadly silent, no one moved, no one breathed. I looked to the faces of my family. Esme, as always, seemed accepting of the news. She was my mom in every way that mattered, and I knew that she wouldn't be outraged or angry with me, she was too empathetic and compassionate for that. Emmett was just looking to Rose, waiting to see her reaction before he decided how he felt about the news.

It was Rose and Carlisle I was worried about.

Carlisle looked to be computing the news.

"Elucidate," Carlisle asked, prompting me to go on.

"He already really knew. He heard some scary stories from some of the Quileute kids when he was in La Push yesterday, then he read a book. He figured it out on his own, I just put some of the pieces together. And I told him about myself, my human life," I spoke quickly, so no one would interrupt. And I looked to Esme first.

She put her video game controller down and went into the kitchen, heating up water in the microwave and putting in a tea bag. In the meantime, Carlisle spoke, and everyone else listened.

"I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, but Bella, don't you think this is rather soon?" Carlisle questioned.

"Yeah, Carlisle is right. I saw Edward today, he was shaken, bleeding. Was he really ready to hear all that?" Rose commented. She did not mention the obvious that I had thought she would point out. How I had broken the law, and put our entire family in danger. By then, Esme returned to the room, passing me the boiling hot cup of tea and wrapping an arm around me.

"Not only does he know, but now he knows _you_ , right?" She smiled down at me, squeezing my shoulder. She had a point, and I smiled back at her, the hot tea and her warm expression making me feel more comfortable.

I had spent my entire time with Edward trying to conceal myself, my true nature, and my past. This was an entirely new chapter of my life, our life together. I could tell him about my past, answer questions he had, I could help him care for himself. And perhaps, finally, he could learn to trust me, because I knew that was something he had a problem with.

"I have to say it," Rose interjected, sighing. I knew exactly what she was going to say, but I knew she took no pleasure in it. "You've broken the law. There is only one option, now, and that will be his eventual change. He can't stay human, he can't live out his life, have children. None of it. There is only one outcome."

Rosalie left the room quickly, her golden hair whipping behind her as she ran into the night. Emmett gave me a sheepish look and bounded after her, ready to comfort her.

I wasn't as upset as Rose. I didn't hate or resent my existence, in fact, I very much enjoyed it. I had been given the opportunity to visit every corner of the earth, learn all the languages I couldn't cram into my human brain, master instruments and dances and art. I had made friends, both human and vampire, and fostered eternal connections by joining and helping to form a family. But until I had met Edward, I didn't know just how empty my life was. He filled the whole in my heart that I had never known was there, and if him knowing ensured I could keep him with me for all eternity, then I didn't exactly hate that he knew.

It certainly wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to me.

"How did he react?" Carlisle asked, still calculating all possible outcomes. It was the exact same thing he had said, all those years ago, when we were still in Volterra. When I had told Aro that Carlisle and I were leaving to the New World.

"Too well. I'm worried he's in shock or something. He just wanted to know how old I was, if we slept in coffins. What we eat. He was entirely calm the entire time, and he drove us back in silence. He even held my hand the entire time, clearly not at all scared off."

Carlisle wasn't sure what to make of what I told them, nor was I. I remained confounded by Edward's calm acceptance. Even when I was changed, I couldn't believe what had happened, what I had turned in to. It took many years to accept that I would never grow old with my husband and children, but also that real life monsters roamed the world, thirsting for blood and leaving death and chaos in their wake.

"I'm going to go check on him," I said, setting down my now lukewarm cup of tea on the coffee table before heading to my room.

"I think that's an excellent idea," Esme nodded, picking up my discarded mug and disposing of it in the kitchen.

"See what I mean, Carlisle," I overheard, "This kitchen is completely outdated. Stainless steel appliances are nouveau riche. And white cabinets? What was I thinking! It's so sterile and modern, we should go with something warm and rich this time. I'm thinking cherry wood cabinets and a light grey tile countertop to offset the darkness…" Carlisle hummed in agreement with his wife as she planned her newest renovation. I knew they were purposefully not discussing anything concerning me until I left, so I hurriedly changed into a sweater and a new pair of pants and ran off to see my mate.

It was pouring, but I ran under the thickest of foliage, and quickly enough that I wasn't soaking wet by the time I made it to the tree I so often resided in. It was still too early for anyone to be asleep, but I heard Charlie's snoring from the coach. He had fallen asleep watching some baseball game, and from his breathing and heartbeat, he wasn't likely to be waking up anytime soon.

Alice I saw in her room upstairs, a sketchbook propped on her lap as she concentrated intently on whatever she was working on, colored pencils and charcoal sticks spread out on the floor. I wondered what she was working on, and made a note to ask her the next time I spent any amount of time with her. Edward seemed very well versed in art history, so I could imagine that his sister had some talent.

But it was Edward I had to focus on. He was in his own closet of a room, a giant pair of headphone blasting Brahms into his delicate human ears. As much as I too appreciated Piano Concerto No. 2, I didn't want him to damage any part of himself.

But then I noticed it wasn't his ears I should be concerned about. Tears were streaming down his face, sobs tearing through his chest violently, as if they were ripping him apart from the inside.

I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. Should I tap on his window, go in and comfort him? Or would that just startle him. Was this something he wanted privacy for? I knew how sensitive men were about showing their feelings and expressing any weakness, but I didn't think Edward was like that. In the context of our conversation today and his near-death experience, I figured his breakdown had something to do with me, and I decided.

I moved quickly from the tree to the window, which was only just covered by the roof, and tapped lightly on the window, trying not to startle him. I heard his sob catch in his throat, and his eyes met mine through the window.

My heart broke for him. He looked completely destroyed, eyes reddened and wet, his face flushed and tear- stained. He took off his headphones, though, and carefully wrapped them up and set them on his small nightstand before opening the window for me.

I climbed in and immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him to me and hugging him as hard as his body could take. The scent of blood, Edward's precious blood, was heavy in the air. I felt him crumble under me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and burying his head in my hair. I held on to him, keeping him upright, as he sobbed into my hair. I wished I too could cry, so I could have some kind of release for the utter despair that had built up in me.

We stood there for several minutes, in his room, the window open, as my beautiful Edward cried on me, almost inconsolable.

The tears didn't stop, but he appeared to have regained some control of his breathing, the wet, hiccupping gulps occurring far less often, and the terrifying sobs ripped through even more infrequently.

"Please talk to me," I begged, speaking into his chest, right where his heart was. Standing this close, it was as if we were one, his heart was mine, his warmth shared. I could understand why Emmett and Rose needed alone time intermittently. This connection, this closeness, I wished I could spend the rest of my existence right in Edward's arms.

"I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry," He sobbed, still clutching me. I didn't understand what was happening. If his breakdown was because of me, because of what he had discovered, why wasn't he shoving me away and yelling at me to get out of his house.

"What is there to be sorry for?" I couldn't imagine Edward, my Edward, doing any wrong. He was such a kind and gentle soul, with a shy grin and quick wit.

"I w-w-wish I-I had a-a k-k-keyboard," Edward mumbling, his face still buried in my hair. I knew he hadn't meant for me to hear, but indeed I did.

"There's a piano in my home," I told him, pulling away slightly so I could see his face. I had bought a piano the moment I noticed Edward playing along on his knees in my car, much to Rose's delight. She wasn't the most skilled musician, but she did so enjoy playing.

I never imagined I could think such a though, but Edward looked awful. His eyes were red and tired, and a blood vessel had popped in his left eye. His nose was running and his entire face was wet with tears. He pulled back from me to wipe his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his sweater and I noticed the scent of blood that was still lingering in the air.

I caught his arm before he could wrap it back around me and pulled up his sleeve. This time, he didn't fight me, allowing me to examine closely the bloody tracks along his wrists, leading right up to the crook of his elbow. I clenched my jaw but resolved to not show any emotion on my face, lest he think I was mad at him. I could never be mad at my gorgeous, broken mate. He just needed help.

I walked him to the bed and had him sit down, the sleeves of his sweater still pushed up. Carefully, I listened for Charlie and Alice. Charlie was still sound asleep, and Alice seemed to be intensely working on her sketching. I looked back to Edward, who was staring at his arms, watching the ruby red droplets leak from one of the cuts.

My heart was absolutely breaking. This afternoon had been so easy, he seemed to be taking everything so well. But he was just internalizing everything.

"Hold on, I'll be right back," I told him. He didn't stir, so I turned and, at vampire speed, ran out the room and up the stairs into the bathroom. I quickly collected everything I could need, and, thankfully, Charlie being the dedicated first responder he was, there was a fully stocked first aid kit.

I whipped back into the room in mere seconds, my hands full of tissues, antiseptic, and Band-Aids. Before Edward could even respond, I set to work cleaning out eat of the cuts on his arms, gently applying triple antibiotic ointment and bandages to each one.

"Y-Y-You h-have a-a-a piano?" Edward was back to not making eye contact, his eyes watching my fingers caress his soft, warm, bleeding skin. I wasn't sure where this conversation was going, as I still had not found out why Edward had broken down, but I answered.

"Yes, Rosalie is our resident amateur pianist. You're welcome to play on it whenever you wish," I offered. Edward's index finger tapped on his palm as though he was twitching, itching to play. He took a deep breath, the first time his lungs were full since I had seen him, as the sobbing preventing him from taking a full breath.

"Alice a-and I-I went t-to th-th-therapy t-today," I already knew this, but he didn't need to know I followed him everywhere, "A-And sh-she g-g-gave us h-homework.

"Sh-she wanted u-us to r-remember J-James and V-V-Victoria," Edward began crying again on the last names, and for the first time since I was over, the venom flowed in my mouth. Not even Edward's sweet, heavenly blood flowing freely could trigger such an aggressive response. I saw red for a moment, pure hate and vengeance pounding through my empty veins. I didn't know what they looked like, but I imagined snapping the necks of a faceless couple. For what they did, how they scarred my love. Those names did not deserve the luxury of being uttered from Edward's perfect mouth, his velvety voice sounding rough and wrong as he stumbled over those hateful names.

I did my best to keep my hatred at the sound of their names off my face, though, for Edward's sake. He needed a calm presence right now, and though I was the furthest thing from calm, I continued to attend to his wounds.

"Do you want to talk about it? With me?" I almost didn't want to hear. I feared my fragile control would fracture upon hearing exactly what those people did to Edward, and for how long it went on. But he shook his head no. I didn't blame him. Much to my chagrin, he likely didn't trust me, not with this, not yet at least.

"Y-You're v-v-very f-fast," Edward commented. I took that he wanted to change the subject, perhaps wanted a distraction. I grinned at him, careful to keep my teeth concealed. Usually, in humans, our teeth were subconsciously terrifying, and Edward was already bleeding and vulnerable.

"One of the perks. And I'm the slowest in my family. If you want to see fast, you should see Rose run. She's like lightning," Edward looked up at me then, but with a faraway look in his face, as if he wasn't look at me, but past me.

"The r-rest of y-your f-f-family, they're l-like y-y-you?"

"Yes, though I'm the oldest," I smiled at him again, putting the first aid supplies down and sitting on the floor, at Edward's feet. I felt at home here, at his feet. I wanted to worship him, show him how much I adored and loved him. I thought sitting on the ground would give him some semblance of control and power, and he seemed to be calming down, his breathing evening out after all that time crying. I decided to go on, telling him how we all came to be.

"After I was created, I found Carlisle. He was a likeminded, gentle soul, and we travelled together in Europe before deciding to come to the New World. In 1921, Carlisle found Esme, dying after a tragic accident, and he changed her. They've been together ever since. In 1933, I found Rose dying on the street, and my heart broke for her, so I changed her. Rose has been the… most reluctant of our family.

"Rose found Emmett after he had been attacked by a bear in the woods, and begged Carlisle to change him. And ever since then, we've been a family. We've traveled the country, never staying in one place too long because we don't age.

"Up until now, I thought you had taken everything in far too well," I confessed to him. He looked down at me, finally making meaningful contact, but his brows knitted together as though he was confused.

"T-Taken what i-in?" I was confused now as well.

"Well, it's not every day one finds out that mythical creatures are roaming the earth, and that one of your friends is a bloodthirsty vampire," I regretted my phrasing the moment it came out of my mouth, not wanting to scare Edward away.

"I-I th-thought you s-said you d-d-didn't f-feed from h-h-humans?" He swallowed, finally showing a normal fear response.

"That doesn't mean I'm not dangerous, Edward." Even in the seriousness of our conversation, I relished the sound of his name coming from my mouth, smooth and rich as honey.

It was then that I heard Charlie stir, waking himself from a deep sleep to shuffle upstairs and collapse into his bed. He was incredibly stressed. There had been several deaths in the area, vampire caused, and he was worried. For the sake of my love's caregiver, I vowed to take care of the interlopers before they could cause any more deaths or draw unnecessary attention to us.

"You should try to get some sleep, Edward," I told him, knowing that once he thought I had left, he would likely move upstairs to sleep on the floor of Alice's room, as he always did. My mate was a protector, and I had no doubt he fiercely loved his sister.

But surprisingly, he did as I asked. He moved to lay on his side, nestling under the duvet, never letting his eyes leave mine. Once he was settled, he closed his eyes, looking like a soft Adonis.

"T-Tell m-m-me a s-story?" He asked, eyes still closed. I smiled, this time with teeth, unable to hold myself back.

"Once upon a time," I began, but Edward scoffed. I knew he meant that he wanted to know something about my life, but I wanted to be silly, maybe make my Edward laugh, and so he did, a small smile gracing his perfect lips.

I spoke softly, telling him the story of the time I had met Henry VIII, late in the king's life, so he was already fat and ill, but was deluded and thought that he was as fit and strong as he had been when he was young. Edward retained his smile, eventually falling asleep, though I continued talking. I wanted to tell him everything, so I confessed to him how much I loved him.

"There's this _attraction_ that pulls me to you, it's called the mating bond. It's like I've been frozen in time for five hundred years, and suddenly, you come along, thawing my heart and setting free all of these feelings. It's like I'm a teenager again, with mood swings and highs and lows. I know, in my head, that it will all stabilize and equalize once you're changed also, but for the time being, it's like I can't control myself. I just love you more than I can articulate

"I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain obscure things,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom but carries

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love,

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams."

The second I finished my recitation of the Pablo Neruda poem that so put my overwhelming feelings into words, Edward's heart changed, his breathing picking up. A second later, he shot up in bed, hyperventilating and his heart pounding.

That was the time that I learned that Edward did trust me.

 **Wow you guys are lucky I'm feeling inspired. Please drop a review, they really do make my day, and from the viewing chart, not a whole lot of people are reading this story anymore.**


	11. Theory

**I'm sorry if any of this disappoints you all. Please review the good, the bad, and the ugly.**

 **Happier (stripped)- Bastille**

 **I. The Worst Guys (feat. Chance the Rapper)- Childish Gambino**

I was startled, which is not an easy task. Moments previously, the night was quiet, Edward was fast asleep, and I was confessing my love aloud for the first time. I didn't even pick up the physiological signs that Edward was having a bad dream, he was calm and comfortable throughout my stories.

"Alice!" Edward gasped, trying to catch his breath. He was now sitting up in bed, beads of perspiration refracting tiny glitterings of soft light from where they formed on the back of his neck, begging for me to reach out and soothe his warmth with my cold skin.

With all my mental acuity and superhuman physicality, I could not respond as Edward twisted his body to get out of bed, his legs tangling in the duvet, causing him to fall to the floor with an "oomph". His fall seemed to shock him out of whatever sleep-induced stupor he had been in, and he looked at me from where he laid on the ground, mere inches from where I was sitting, mouth open, semi-amused at what had just transpired.

"Are you alright?" I asked, moving to help him up. He had disentangled himself from the duvet, revealing a gray pair of sweatpants underneath. Suddenly it was I in a stupor, as, though I had heard of the miracle of gray sweatpants from other hormone-driven teenage girls, I had never experienced the joy of the revealing nature of this particular article of clothing, and especially not on my mate. Edward had always worn dark jeans, and I had never paid much mind to the rest of his body. I had always devoted attention to the grace and dexterity of his hands, of the strength of his jaw, the delectableness of his fragrant neck, his kissable lips, and dazzling emerald eyes. Now I realized there were other aspects of his physique that deserved attention, no, worship.

"I d-didn't realize y-y-you'd s-still be here," Edward whispered, forcing my eyes to move from where they had been fixated to meet his. We were now standing very close, so that I had to tilt my head to meet his eyes. I didn't need to glance at a clock to know that it was 2 o'clock in the morning, an unnatural time for a human to be awake, and Edward already wasn't getting enough sleep.

"I couldn't bear to leave as you slept," I confessed, remaining where I was though I wanted to run into his arms and ravish him until he was exhausted and couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Edward, though, made the first move, starting to turn and leave his bedroom altogether. I knew immediately what he wanted to go do, why he had called out Alice's name. Never, in all my nights watching over him, had I seen him sleep anywhere else but the floor of Alice's room.

"Where are you going?" I asked, knowing the answer, though I didn't want him to think me a stalker for already so intimately knowing his sleep patterns.

"Alice n-needs me," he murmured, still trying to leave. Finally, I there was an opening for me to ask a question that had been burning in my mind.

"Why?"

He was now holding his pillow and duvet, but his eyes were cast down, fixed on my sneaker-clad feet.

"I s-s-sleep on h-her f-floor," he answered simply, though I already knew this. Feeling like a toddler, I once again asked, "Why?"

He sighed, depositing the pillow and blanket next to him as he sat on the bed. He leaned forward, elbow resting on his thigh and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes and I supposed collected his thoughts. I waited, silent and unmoving as stone, not wanting to disturb him in such a fragile and vulnerable state.

"I've a-always s-slept on her f-f-floor. When J-J-James c-came in, I could…" he swallowed thickly, eyes still closed as he confessed to me a deep, dark aspect of his past, "I c-could d-d-distract him."

My throat was tight and eyes burning from tears that would never come. I finally truly understood. He was protecting her. My Edward had sacrificed his own wellbeing, his own body, and his own sleep, for apparently years, to protect his sister. I wanted to hold him, to love him, and most importantly, I wanted to rip James and Victoria into pieces and burn their entrails. It would be the least they deserved.

"Edward, I am so sorry for what you have been through, for what you continue going through," I began, collected myself and keeping myself calm for his sake, "But I can promise you there is no threat to Alice in this home. Especially not while I'm here." I sounded confident, and when it came to Edward and Alice's safety, I was confident. But he sighed again and shook his head.

"I c-can't l-leave her," Edward once again collected his blanket and pillow and moved to get up.

"What if I stayed in her room? Would that make you more comfortable? I would really prefer you get a good night's rest in an actual bed."

Perhaps I had been convincing, or perhaps Edward was just very tired, but after a pause, he acquiesced, nodding his head and crawling back into bed. As I moved to exit his room and go to Alice, he called out for me to wait. I turned to see him sitting up in bed again, his pillow and duvet outstretched for me to take.

"Please, take it," Edward moved them towards me in offering. Even if I did sleep, I would never take his own items and leave him on his own bed with no covering or comfort. But the gesture, and his selflessness even at his own expense, was heartwarming. I gave him a small smile and shook my head.

"I don't sleep, remember?" Again, he didn't fight me, a sign that he too exhausted. The moment his head hit the pillow, he had fallen back into a deep sleep as quickly as he had awoken earlier.

"Goodnight, Edward."

I camped out on the rocking chair in Alice's bedroom, content to rock silently to the beat of Edward's familiar and melodious heart. He had entrusted me with the duty of watching over his sister, and I would take it seriously.

Carefully, I picked up on of the many sketchbooks sitting on the small desk next to my place in the chair. Alice, like everyone else who lived within my earshot, was deeply asleep. I flipped through the pages, momentarily wondering if the pages were private, but quickly discovered that Alice was an incredibly talented artist. There were pages and pages of very well-executed landscapes, with great attention paid to shadowing and color.

I picked up the next sketchbook on the pile to find far darker pieces. The first page was entirely red, as she had justly pressed a red colored pencil to the page and darkly colored until it was full. The next was of a young woman with flaming red hair and icy blue eyes. I felt a chill fall over me. The next page was of a young man with light brown hair that fell into his dark, piercing brown eyes. I knew instinctively whom they were. James and Victoria, Edward and Alice's former foster parents and abusers. I flipped through the sketchbook, half of which was filled with various sketches of them in different positions. In one, James was standing over a bed, a small, indistinct lump hidden under the covers. In another, it was Victoria's long, red nails scraping over bleeding skin. I snapped the book closed and returned it to its place on the desk. I had seen enough.

I had composed a mental to-do list over the past several days. I needed to find whatever nomads were disturbing the peace and stressing Charlie. I needed to purchase a bouquet of hydrangeas for Esme, as they were her favorite and she deserved them after being so supportive and wonderful. I needed to apply more oil to Edward's and Alice's bedroom windows so I could continue entering their home at night without disturbing them. But most importantly, I needed to find James and Victoria, and bring them to justice if they hadn't been already.

It was more than they deserved. They deserved decades of torture, of pain and suffering like they had inflicted on two innocent, lovely children whose care they had been entrusted with. I yearned for nothing more than to be the one to carry out their torment. But I knew that this was not true to my nature, no matter how vindictive I had become, and furthermore, if Edward ever found out, he was sure to be aghast.

I spent the remainder of my morning sitting in the rocking chair, contemplating everything from finding James and Victoria to what my existence had become since finding Edward. How tumultuous, how vibrant, how vivid the world had become since he slouched in and stole my heart.

Charlie, as always, awoke first. I slipped out of the window, but continued my watch perched on the tree, still obscured from human sight by the darkness of the early hour and the thin cover of leaves. As he lumbered out his room and began to walk downstairs to begin his morning coffee and newspaper routine, he opened the door to Alice's bedroom and peered in. I could see his expression of surprise to see Alice alone in her room, but then he just nodded and headed downstairs.

Alice awoke soon after, and began to ready herself from school. She flitted downstairs, dressed in an all-black ensemble and a black cat ear headband, a pure Alice form of expressive uniqueness. Once Alice was safely in the company of Charlie, I hopped down to the ground and slipped into Edward's room to continue sitting by his bed, relishing his company, even if he was unconscious.

I had resigned myself to leaving Edward so I could make it to school inside, and was already running from the house when I caught the beginning of Charlie and Alice's conversation. I stopped and turned back so I could overhear them, as they were usually silent in the morning.

"Is Edward still asleep?" Charlie asked.

"He must be," Alice responded, "We need to leave for school soon, I'll go get him up!"

"No, don't. Why don't we let him sleep today? I'll call Mrs. Cope and tell her he's sick. He could use the sleep."

I wanted to hug Charlie Swan and erect a monument in his honor. I wholeheartedly agreed that Edward needed to sleep for as long as his body needed it. Something nonverbal must have transpired, though, because Charlie added, "I'll stay home today."

I ran home and headed to school with Rose and Emmett, though it pained me to know that Edward would wake up and I would not be by his side. Logically, though, I knew it would draw attention for both Edward and myself to not be in school after all the attention I had drawn to us the past week, what with losing my temper and yelling at children.

School was unbearably long without Edward, though. Unlike Rose or Emmett, it had never really bothered me, attending high school over and over again. I always managed an easy friendship with a group of humans and, with my relative lack of bloodlust, it had never been difficult to be in a crowd.

But without Edward? I found myself counting the seconds, which is no way to pass time. Each teacher droned on about some meaningless topic in a lecture I had heard dozens of times before, my classmates were overwhelmingly loud with their idle chatting. The only sound I wanted to hear was Edward's strong heart and soft breath as he slept before me, long eyelashes casting shadows over his high cheekbones.

In their selfish, love-induced stupor, Rose and Emmett left me to my own devices during lunch, needing to get their fill of one another. It was a reason I intimately understood, but I could also acknowledge the self-centeredness of their decision.

I walked through the food line, grabbing a moderate amount of food and paying before turning and surveying the lunch room. On days when I was by myself, which were frequent, I usually sat with Jessica, Mike, Angela and them. But after how I had treated and yelled at them, I wasn't sure it would be appropriate of me to sit with them.

Before I could make a move to sit alone at the usual Cullen table that no one dared sit at, even when Rose and Emmet were not present, I caught an arm waving out of the corner of my eye. Jessica was dramatically waving her arm in the air to get my attention, her dark curls bouncing with her enthusiasm.

I walked through the lunchroom to sit beside Jessica at a table that included Mike, Eric, Angela, Ben, Tyler, and Lauren, though Lauren looked less than pleased with my presence at made a point to sneer in my general direction. Brave girl.

"We were just talking about the Sadie Hawkins dance next month," Jessica explained, acting as if nothing had transpired between us mere days prior, "That's why Angela and I were in Port Angeles on Sunday, you know, looking for dresses. Are you taking anyone?" I wondered how Jessica could possibly breathe when she talked so incessantly.

"I can't go to the dance. I already have plans that day," I noticed Mike looked crestfallen at my admission. He had asked me out on dates several times since my family arrived to Forks, and despite turning him down firmly each time, he was never discouraged. Hopefully, he wouldn't even ask me to the dance, it was getting kind of tiring. One of the woes of not only being the only single person in my family, but also the least intimidating, meant that no matter where I went, I was bound to be asked out.

"You made plans a month in advance?" Tyler questioned.

"It's my mother's birthday," I lied smoothly, needing an unquestionable excuse to fend them off, "So we're all going to Seattle that weekend to celebrate." The table kind of fell silent, which was strange for any area Jessica was in.

"I thought you were adopted?" Alice said, sliding onto the bench between Angela and Jessica. With all of the smells of humans and cafeteria food and the noise of students talking over one another, it was easy to miss Alice entering and joining our table. I looked at her in surprise, not only for the callous question, but also for the fact that she was sitting at a table with a bunch of people who had days earlier been bullying her brother.

"Esme Cullen is, for all intents and purposes, my mother."

"Aaaaanyway," Jessica said, drawing out the word, "I was thinking we could all get a limo, you know, like prom, and maybe we could all, like, go out for dinner beforehand. Make it, like, a group thing."

The conversation broke out, revolving around planning the logistics of the a dance that still weeks away. I tuned them out, instead choosing remember Edward's rare smile. With perfect recall, it was easy to remember every detail of his face, how his eyes crinkled and his lips crookedly turned up. It was an image I focused on until the final bell rang and I was able to run back to Edward.

He and Charlie were sitting on the couch, watching a replay of a baseball game seemingly contentedly. I couldn't be sure when Edward had awoken, but he hadn't changed, still dressed in his rumpled, blood and tear stained sweater and delightful gray sweatpants. His bronze hair was more mussed than normal, but I wished I could get a view of his face from the angle I was spying.

I could hear the rusty truck lumbering down the street from miles away, Alice behind the wheel, cheerfully singing along to some pop tune. I wasn't sure what to think about Edward's twin sister. Of course, I understood she had an incredibly difficult childhood just as Edward had, but she also made odd comments at odd times.

However, when Alice bounced through the door, Edward and Charlie both turned, giving me the opportunity to more thoroughly study his face. He looked… rested. The bags under his eyes had disappeared, his pallor had improved, and he just looked overall healthier.

I ran home to change, and returned to the Swan household to watch their nightly routine of homework, dinner, and sleep. I knocked on Edward's window again, after he had showered. His room smelled like soap and Edward, and his bronze hair was darkened and lying flat on his head. He looked delectable, and he smiled with his eyes as he opened the window, allowing me to slip into his room.

"You weren't at school today," I stated the obvious. He shook his head and didn't provide a verbal response.

"You look good. Rested," I stated the obvious, setting up for my offer, "And if you would like, I would be happy to stay with Alice again tonight."

He looked up at me, but just shrugged and nodded, sitting on his bed. I stood in silence, watching my wonderful mate as he fiddled with the thread on his bedsheet. After it became clear that tonight was not the night for a conversation, I opened the bedroom door to head to Alice's room.

"Goodnight, Edward. Sleep well," I called, shutting the door and running upstairs.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward said softly behind me. I almost stopped and ran back to him. It was so rare to hear my name in his mouth, I loved the way he said it, so soft and caring. But upstairs I continued, establishing my watch on the rocking chair. When Charlie began to stir in the morning, I headed home to get my car, and drove to the Swan residence to reestablish the routine of me picking up Edward and Alice for school.

We continued on like this for the rest of the week, with Edward in the backseat, usually silent or providing monosyllabic responses as Alice filled the car with conversational fluff. On Wednesday, I studied math with Alice in the living room as Edward worked on an English paper, and Charlie invited me to come to dinner on Friday night, which I accepted.

"I'd love to join you, Chief Swan. Is there anything I can bring?" I offered, knowing Charlie would just brush me off gruffly. Charlie walked to the living room to return to his baseball game, and I turned to see Edward looking at me questioningly, brows pulled together. I responded with one of his signature shrugs, and returned back to the math problem that Alice was struggling with.

On Friday, I didn't bother to drop Alice and Edward off and go home, I just followed them in, excited to spend the afternoon with Edward. However, before I could even place my bag on the counter, Alice had wrapped her hand around my wrist, trying to pull me upstairs.

"Come help me pick out my outfits for next weekend!" I allowed her to move me, not wanting to get in the way of the ball of energy that was Alice Masen. Edward didn't even glance up from his place at the kitchen table.

As Alice pulled outfit after outfit out of her closet, I thought about the chasm that had seemed to form between me and Edward. Since Sunday night, he had barely said seven words to me despite my effort. I tried to strike up a conversation with him during lunch and before Biology class, but he seemed to be in his own world. I wasn't sure why.

Before Edward knew, we had been getting along well, our relationship progressing as we went on a date and held hands and even kissed. But now that he knew, no matter how well he seemingly took it, he had been distant and withdrawn, and I was worried.

Alice noticed I wasn't really paying attention to all the clothes she was showing me, and waved her hand in front of my face, a bright smile on her face. I wondered why Alice seemed so well adjusted while Edward was dealing with so many mental health issues.

"Earth to Bella! You still in there?" Alice joked, holding up two ensembles for me to judge.

"You'd look better in the blue dress," I offered. She accepted my answer and continued on her whirlwind tear through her closet, carrying on a one-sided conversation about the merits of the Glass-Steagall Act and its impact on Wall Street.

Eventually, I heard Edward start moving downstairs, rifling through the refrigerator and turning on the stove. Clearly, he would be the one cooking dinner for us tonight, and I was curious to know if he was a good cook.

"I'll be back in a second!" Alice called as she danced out of her room, first heading to the bathroom, then downstairs. Her room was a complete disaster, and I looked around, surveying the damage. As I began to fold some of the tops that had been discarded on the floor, I heard Edward's distinctive shuffle as he made his way upstairs. I did my best to act nonchalant as he appeared in the doorway, leaning on the door jam and staring at me.

"I d-didn't think y-you could e-e-eat f-food," Edward said. This was the first time we had been truly alone in several days, and I found myself as nervous as a teenage girl in a bedroom with her love.

"You could eat dirt if you wanted to, couldn't you? It's not pleasant, but I can eat it," I explained. He didn't look impressed.

"Th-that's absurd. You sh-shouldn't have t-t-to eat if i-it's uncomfortable. Why d-d-did y-you accept Charlie's i-invitation?" I was momentarily distracted from his questioning by the cling of his light sweater to his torso. A few weeks of consistent eating and a few night's rest and he was starting to gain weight and fill out, and he looked good. Too good.

"I wanted to spend time with you," I shrugged, "And Alice just told me that you would both be busy all weekend, so I figured I needed to get my fill of you now." I smiled at my own little joke, knowing that I would never be satiated. I began to move quickly around the room, putting the clothes that Alice had discarded away. It was so easy to not hide my nature around him now that he knew.

Alice had said they would be busy over the weekend. They had "doctor's" appointments Saturday and Sunday, which I took to mean back-to-back therapy sessions, and they would be on the reservation on Saturday night. On that point, I was uncomfortable, but I knew that no Quileute boy had yet to phase, so Edward being over the boundary line by himself was relatively safe, no matter how uncomfortable I was with it.

"Why d-do your e-e-eyes ch-change c-color?" He changed the subject quickly, making another keen observation. I knew he had noticed, how could he not have with how often I stared at him. Other humans, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind, and most humans had instincts that sought to protect them from us. Not my Edward, though. He was too fearless, too accepting. It was as if the entire universe was created so that he could be here.

I wasn't sure how to answer the question without scaring him. I was worried that any moment, the reality of what I was would hit him, and he would run away from me, screaming in terror. Especially with an answer related to drinking blood and killing things.

"I think this a conversation best suited for another time, and another place," I said honestly, trying to avoid answering the question. He accepted my evasive response, nodding, but not leaving his place in the doorway. I had finished cleaning Alice's room, and was now just standing in her room, not able to leave because he was blocking the door.

"Alice a-and I have th-th-therapy th-this w-weekend," Edward finally said, breaking the somehow awkward silence that hung in the room.

"I had figured. I think it's incredibly admirable for you and Alice to be so responsible in taking charge of your own health," My answer was honest but also diplomatic, so as to not trigger my fragile mate. He finally met my gaze and gave me a rare, small, crooked smile. I wished to hold him in my arms and make him smile and laugh for the rest of eternity. He was so _beautiful_ when he smiled it almost hurt to look at him, like staring into the sun felt for humans.

"Dinner's ready!" Alice called from downstairs, breaking the spell, Edward's smile fading from his face, replaced by his usual hard-to-read expression. We walked downstairs together, and I took my place at Edward's right at the table, sitting close enough to him to feel the heat emanating from his warm body. Our feet touched under the table, just a light touch through both of our shoes, but I relished the contact I had with him, as I hadn't held him since that heartbreaking night in his room when he broke down.

Edward studied me as I cut up the slab of meat in front of me, placing each small bite and chewing. I felt the chunks of masticated food slide down my throat, settling uncomfortably in my stomach. Disgusting.

"Wow, Bella, you like your meat rare, huh?" Charlie asked, a little laugh in his comment. I looked down and noticed that there was blood running down the plate, and my steak was far redder than anyone else's. _Edward_. He was so sweet and thoughtful, thinking that perhaps a rare steak would be easier to tolerate.

"If only it were still mooing!" I joked, sneaking a glance at Edward, who was looking at his plate but had that beautiful smile back on his face. Alice and Charlie began talking about NASCAR and its engaging aspect, but I was happy to just sit next to my Edward, soaking up the rays of his presence.

"I'm not sure the truck is running well enough for a trip to Port Angeles tomorrow," Alice commented, prompting Charlie to sigh.

"Well maybe I can see if Jake'll come by to look at it in the morning, but I need to work tomorrow." Alice's gaze snapped to mine, prompting me to offer my services.

"I was planning on going to Port Angeles tomorrow anyways to get a few books. I'd be happy to drive you two, if you don't mind." Alice squealed in excitement, "But my sister is a skilled mechanic, so I could see if she would stop by tomorrow morning if that's what you would prefer?"

"No way, if you take us to Port Angeles that means _shopping_ ," Alice interrupted Charlie, whom I was sure was about to express surprise at the fact that the goddess Rosalie Hale knows how to fix cars. I internally groaned. I had just gone shopping with Rose the prior weekend, and it really wasn't a hobby I particularly cared for, especially when I could just buy clothes online now.

"I thought you had a doctor's appointment," I tried to make an excuse for not shopping with Alice, reminding her why she needed to be in Port Angeles. She stood up, collecting plates, and waved her hand in the air to brush me off.

"It's Edward's appointment tomorrow, I was just gonna go with him, so we'll have a couple hours to hit the shops!" I audibly sighed, picking up the cups and getting up to deposit them in the sink.

"Y-you can s-s-say no to h-her," Edward murmured, following me to the sink.

"Because she really seems like the type of person to take no for an answer," I snorted, "Besides, I don't mind. I like driving, and this means I can spend time with you." Slowly, so he could clearly see my intentions, I reached my hand out to his. Our fingers threaded together naturally, as if my hand was designed to fit into his, a spark of energy passing between us, as if the universe were saying, 'This is it. This is right.'

We stood there, connected by our hands for a few minutes until I heard Charlie start to head to the kitchen, likely to get another beer. I squeezed his hand lightly, careful to apply only the necessary pressure, and turned back to the dishes in the sink that required my attention. Edward stood next to me, drying the dishes that I handed him and putting them away, always helpful and kind.

"I'll see you soon," I called as I left, my words having a double meaning for Edward, who smiled and stood in the doorway until I drove out of his sight.

No one was home when I arrived, likely out either hunting or searching for the intruding nomads I had told them about. I changed quickly and ran back to Edward, who had left the window open as a clear invitation for me to let myself in.

From my spot in Alice's room, I could hear Edward's restless sleep as he moved constantly, never quite fully asleep until very late in the morning. Alice slept like the dead, never moving, sleeping heavily as she always did. Such polar opposites they were, even as twins, though I supposed that was the argument for nature over nurture.

Rose was sitting in the garage when I returned home in the morning to fetch my car, flipping through a car magazine, my car taken apart in front of her. Various parts were strewn about, and the entire engine had been deconstructed and was laying out in front of the car.

"I need to use my car, Rose." I was frustrated with her for completely destroying my car without even asking, and for not even working on it after she had taken it apart. She was just lounging around looking at a magazine rather than actually working, as if time was not a tangible concept. Though, for us, time had never been important or urgent, we had so much of it.

"I'm trying to figure out how to add a continuous nitrous oxide system to make the car faster, and I figured that since you're least attached to your car, it would be the guinea pig," Rose didn't even glance up from her magazine. I felt anger bubble up, frustrated at her hallmark selfishness that made Rosalie Hale, Rosalie Hale.

"I need my car, Rose," I repeated, frustration seeping into my voice. She glanced up, brow cocked. I was not typically one who was easy to anger, but where Edward was concerned, my emotions were untamable, and I needed to get over to the Swan house to pick them up in time.

"Woah, Bells, don't get your panties in a bunch, Rosie'll fix it up," Emmett lumbered in, bequeathing his mate with a soft kiss on the crown of her head, because that was just the luxury they had, with easy touches and kisses and not having to second guess every action they made in regards to the other.

"That's not my point. I use my car quite often now, with Edward, and I would like some consideration before my possessions are tampered with. And it's not just that. You two left me alone to go screw in the middle of the day when Edward wasn't there, so I was alone. You're both so in your own world, but I would just like a little empathy here!" My voice rose with each word until I was basically yelling, anger uncontrollable now. Emmett threw his hands up in surrender, but Rose was still seated, eyes fixed on her stupid magazine as if she hadn't heard a word I had said.

"For God's sakes, Rosalie, can you put the goddamn magazine down and look at me when I'm talking to you!" She actually _rolled her eyes_ in response, nonchalantly flipping to the next page. Classic Rose.

"You're not talking to me, you're yelling _at_ me."

That was my breaking point. A growl ripped through my chest, and I ran at her in a rare show of violence, especially against my own sister. Emmett caught me before I even reached her, though, and threw me out of the garage, away from Rose.

The mere action of being thrown was enough to heighten my anger. I landed easily on my feet in the gravel, the propulsion sliding me backwards before I ran back at Emmett, a rather stupid decision. If Rose had brought her beauty into this existence, Emmett had brought his strength. The only vampire I knew who could rival him was Felix in the Volturi. Or a newborn. But certainly not myself, and our fight was over before it could even begin, with me pinned on my back, Emmett holding me down.

"Calm down, girlie. I mean, goodness gracious. You know Rose, that's how she's always been." Rose had gotten up to watch my fruitless attempt to wrestle her husband, and had her arms crossed disapprovingly as she surveyed the damage our 3 second fight had on the front yard.

"While you were carrying on with this foolishness, I put your car back together," Rose said dryly. I felt sheepish, embarrassed. Only very rarely did I engage in any act of aggression, and it was usually then in jest. Rose held up the keys for me to take, and I grabbed them and headed to my car, head down in shame. I really couldn't believe my actions. I was the calm, level-headed one, especially compared to Rose and Emmett. Edward was awakening all these new feelings, thawing my frozen psyche, and I was learning that not all my newfound emotions were constructive or warm.

"Listen to the engine carefully. I believe I correctly modified the nitrous oxide dispenser, but if too much is injected, the engine could explode," Rose said matter-of-factly, as if I wouldn't be carrying precious cargo. I swallowed my anger, though, not wanting a replay of what had just transpired in case I lost control again.

Rose had never truly bother me before. I knew of and accepted her personality traits because I had witnessed first-hand what had happened to her. Back in 1933, Esme, Carlisle, and I were living in Rochester, NY, with myself posing as Esme's younger sister. I was accompanying Carlisle home from a late shift at the hospital, where we strolled the streets, discussing human foreign relations and the recent rise of a new leader in Germany. We never rushed home, enjoying the night before us, and savoring each other's company as we had a third, wonderful member after centuries of it being just me and Carlisle.

That night was different, though. Blood and fear clung in the air, and we had run as fast as we could towards the source. A beautiful young woman was battered, in tattered clothes, left on the street to die. And there was something, something in her face that reminded me so much of my younger sister. They had the same clear, strong presence, similar noses, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I felt a sense of urgency that made me feel the need to bring her into this life without her consent.

I knew her vanity came from a place of insecurity, as she had been beaten and defiled by several men moments before she changed. I knew her selfishness was a defense mechanism that she had developed because of her trauma. And I knew better than to be mad at her, because I accepted her for who she was the moment I created her, it was an intimate bond between creator and progeny, and we had always been close.

But Rose also didn't know what it felt like to be alone, nor did Esme or Emmett. Rose was alone for a mere two years, and the first thing Esme and Emmett saw with their vampiric eyes was their respective mates. And they had certainly never had to abstain from touching or holding or loving their mates.

I would have to spend time with Carlisle eventually. We had rarely gone so long without having some kind of discussion, no matter how shallow, but I was never at home anymore as Edward required my attention and deserved my devotion.

The car truly was faster, though. I had to give Rose credit where credit was due. I was going fifteen miles an hour faster than my car was usually able to go, and I wasn't even pushing it as I was driving through the outskirts of Forks. This car rode smoothly, so I could probably push it on the highway to Port Angeles without Edward or Alice even noticing.

I was exactly on time to pick up Edward and Alice thanks to Rose's tinkering, making me feel even worse about our altercation. Alice slipped into the backseat, leaving Edward next to me in the front. Alice reached over and picked a stick out of my hair, which I hadn't even noticed had been stuck in my messy hair, my frustration distracting me from fixing myself after Emmett had thrown me on the ground.

"Emmett and I got in a fight," I laughed, taking the stick from her hand and tossing it out the window before backing up and pulling out.

"B-But h-he's huge!" Edward exclaimed, looking over at me with great concern in his verdant eyes. I couldn't help but fall into those emerald eyes, their depth was dazzling and made me feel like I was drowning but I didn't want to swim away.

"W-Watch the r-r-road!" I chuckled but pulled my gaze from him with great difficulty, instead choosing to admire the eclectic foliage and how the color compared to his eyes. All the forests in the world were dull in comparison.

I offered the auxiliary cord to Alice after she complained thrice about the soft classical music CD I had playing, allowing her to plug her iPod in and blast some bubblegum pop that their generation was so fond of. As some upbeat musician sang about happiness, I couldn't help but feel infectiously good, and that emboldened me to move my hand from the gear shift to Edward's hand, which was propped on the edge of his leg, as close to me as he could get without actually touching me. I took that as a nonverbal cue of consent, and threaded my fingers through his. With Alice loudly chanting the lyrics behind us, Edward's hand in mine, and a car speeding almost as fast as I could run, I couldn't imagine being any happier.

But that's when I learned of Edward's true feelings for me.

 **Sorry, another chapter that's kind of all over the place. Would you be surprised to know I have all of these chapters planned in advance?**


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